do you marry deaf person or hearing person?

CrazyRedHeadWV said:
I am married to hearing guy for almost 3 years and been together for 4 years. He is wonderful to me and he said once, he is glad that he doesn't have to worry about me hearing his snoring at night. :giggle:
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Yeah, that's what my husband said about the snoring part! LOL
 
used to marry with a deaf man but divorced... i been dating with hearing and deaf..

I would choose deaf.. or hoh due of commucation..

I don't mind to date with a hearing if they are interpreter.
 
Toonces said:
I always thought I'd marry a deaf or HOH guy. I ended up marrying a hearing guy instead. But he is so sweet to me, and even took time to learn sign language (and he did a good job at it.) :) We've been married almost four years and we are still happy. ;)
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Right! I'm hearing, but I'm not one to limit myself to just someone who's hearing. If I fall in love with a deaf or HOH guy, then fine. I'll take the time necessary to learn ASL. In my mind, it's all in who you are attracted to regardless of hearing status.

Also, interesting to note: I'm physically disabled, and I'm wheelchair bound. I used to think that I would only marry someone able bodied, but that may not be true. If I fall for someone in a wheelchair, so be it. You love who you love. And, the person's physical capabilities is really secondary to what kind of person they are.
 
Katzie said:
Opposite attraction works wonders sometimes huh?
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someone gave me a magnet that said "opposites attract... then they drive each other crazy"
:wiggle: its probably true!!!

ps. i'm planning on marying a deaf guy :) problems (yeah probably) but none that love can't overcome no?
 
HOH/Deaf people would be too obnoxious for me to handle. Forget about marriage anyhow. How else would I be able to carry on a conversation with them anyhow?

As mentioned before BY OTHERS, intellegence is something I thrive on.

edit: I've had a relationship with a HOH girl before, and it wasn't pleasant. Aren't relationship supposed to be open with communication, not with physical activities? Also, some concern with being another HOH/deaf is raising a family, what if a child cries in the next room? Who would hear if either one does not wear hearing aids?

ps: I'm hearing impaired.
 
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Raven said:
HOH/Deaf people would be too obnoxious for me to handle. Forget about marriage anyhow. How else would I be able to carry on a conversation with them anyhow?

As mentioned before, intellegence is something I thrive on.
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Oh, how nice of you to come along and share your insights with us—we’re all just oh so eternally grateful. Now, would you kindly roll over and die, eat a bag of shit, and then roll over and die again? Please? I’m asking nicely…

Mods: After you zap this little troll, please delete this post. Thank you.
 
Levonian said:
Oh, how nice of you to come along and share your insights with us—we’re all just oh so eternally grateful. Now, would you kindly roll over and die, eat a bag of shit, and then roll over and die again? Please? I’m asking nicely…

Mods: After you zap this little troll, please delete this post. Thank you.
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Please check above, I just edited it.
 
OK—I retract what I said. I’m still not quite sure what your point is, but your post seemed to say that deaf people are both inherently obnoxious and inherently stupid. I thought you were a hearing person bashing deaf people.
 
Hmm? No, I didn't intend to come out across that way. It's difficult to explain...
 
As for me, well, when I was a kid I always thought I'll marry a hearing guy because of the intelligence. But now I have met some hoh and deaf who's intelligent. So I'll give hoh and deaf a go and I believe they might be right for me as it's easier to communicate with them for most part. It's MHO anyway *shrugs*.

Life has a way of surprising you as to who'll be your Mr or Mrs. Right...whether they're hearing, deaf or hoh.
 
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Raven said:
Hmm? No, I didn't intend to come out across that way. It's difficult to explain...
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I think I know what you mean. Sometimes it seems like deaf people are less intelligent than hearing people because they don’t think the same way that hearing people do. But we both know that that’s not really true. It’s like when I have to explain jokes to my wife. I have a lot of residual hearing, but she doesn’t. We were in Las Vegas recently, and somebody came up to us in a hotel lobby and put Hawaiian leis around our necks. Later, somebody said to us "I see you two just got laid." No matter how hard I tried, I couldn’t explain the joke to her. But I know she’s not stupid. Any profoundly deaf person who can graduate from college and make $60,000 a year as a respiratory therapist didn’t just fall off the turnip truck. Hearing people just think that deaf people are stupid and unsophisticated because they don’t relate to hearing people in the way that hearing people expect them to. Hearing people just don’t understand that the things that are important to them (like music) just aren’t as important to deaf people.
 
Raven said:
HOH/Deaf people would be too obnoxious for me to handle. Forget about marriage anyhow. How else would I be able to carry on a conversation with them anyhow?

As mentioned before BY OTHERS, intellegence is something I thrive on.

edit: I've had a relationship with a HOH girl before, and it wasn't pleasant. Aren't relationship supposed to be open with communication, not with physical activities? Also, some concern with being another HOH/deaf is raising a family, what if a child cries in the next room? Who would hear if either one does not wear hearing aids?

ps: I'm hearing impaired.
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I dated different hearing and deafie women. I must admit that there is no difference between them. I am speaking of their intelligence. There are plenty of unintelligent hearing women... just that their numbers are large enough that we 'somehow' miss those dumbasses but naturally, there are unintelligent deafie women in the deaf world too. There were many times that it was difficult for me to carry the intelligent conversations with these hearing women... Heck, I asked one of them, "What do you think of the US Constitution and Bush's anti-women rights policy (anti-abortion rights)?" and she replied, "What the heck is the US Constitution?" That's how dumb she (college graduate) was. I had my shares of unintelligent hearing women... I also had my shares of unintelligent deafie women.

Honestly, I don't see where you are going with that but whatever. I know I did complained about deafie women and their intelligent conversation issues but that was local deafie-women in my area for you. There are more intelligent deafie-women in other places... just like women around here.
 
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Magatsu said:
There are plenty of unintelligent hearing women...
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Yes, there’s absolutely no question that there are a lot of stupid people out there—doesn’t matter if they’re deaf, hearing, or have 3 heads. Chew on these statistics for awhile:

47% of all adults in the United States are not aware that the stars are other suns.

25% think that the Sun revolves around the Earth.

46% do not know how long it takes for the Earth to make one complete circumnavigation of the Sun.

So, being blatantly stupid is not limited entirely to O.J. Simpson trial jurors. The general public is dumb.

Source: National Science Foundation survey
 
Yes, I understand that, but those statistics are focused on americans, aren't they?

Originally Posted by Magatsu
There are plenty of unintelligent hearing women...
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I'll have to agree with that; however, I feel more comfortable with hearing women than I am with deaf women. Maybe the reason being is because I don't spend a lot of time with members of the deaf culture since I'm within the hearing majority (the odd man out) as well as being 1 of the 3 HOH/Deaf students at an public high school. Heck, I'm probably the only profoundly hearing impaired student in my university classes.

We were in Las Vegas recently, and somebody came up to us in a hotel lobby and put Hawaiian leis around our necks. Later, somebody said to us "I see you two just got laid." No matter how hard I tried, I couldn’t explain the joke to her.
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I think the only reason she didn't understand the joke is because she might not understand the pronouncation (sp?). I get it, anyway.

-Raven
 
Raven, you sounded like me when I was much younger. I dated only hearing men, thinking that I couldnt possibly relate to deaf men. I was not exposed to any deaf culture until much later in my 20's. Even then, I continued to date hearing men only, thinking that deaf men didnt seem " intelligent" to me.

After my divorce with a hearing man, I dated a very few deaf men before meeting my last ex - we dated 9 months and I was never so emotionally validated like that during these months. I realized that being emotionally validated is much more important than dating " intelligent" men ....but intelligence itself is cold and not giong to comfort you at nights or when you are down. Common sense and emotional intelligence keeps a relationship going.

Now I do prefer deaf men but ironically most deaf men think I am too " hearing" for them so they dont ask me out. Go figures.

Regardless of his hearng status, I only look for emotional support and common sense from a guy, not his intelligence because emotional support goes long way in a loving warm and personal relationship.
 
That's true, but you also have to regard the fact that because of a hearing loss, a person can be more insecure of their own emotions (i'm not saying everyone does that).

How would they describe you as too "hearing" for them?

For most of my life, I was pretty much segerated from the deaf community and excluded by the hearing community as well. Of course, I hold more of a grudge against the deaf community than I do with the hearing community as I had expected people in my position to be more understanding.

-Raven
 
Raven said:
That's true, but you also have to regard the fact that because of a hearing loss, a person can be more insecure of their own emotions (i'm not saying everyone does that).

How would they describe you as too "hearing" for them?

For most of my life, I was pretty much segerated from the deaf community and excluded by the hearing community as well. Of course, I hold more of a grudge against the deaf community than I do with the hearing community as I had expected people in my position to be more understanding.

-Raven
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Your stated fact "You have to regard the fact that because of a hearing loss, a person can be more insecure of their own emotions." I am not sure where you got that idea from but everyone is insecure about at least one thing ..some more than others but there is always something to feel insecure about. You didnt state your age but I know that from my own experiences, I was very insecure young woman because I grew up oral and not really knowing my own identity. I was a person pleaser because I was taught that I had to have perfect speech and lipreading skills in order to succeed in this world. Nothing was said about my other skills. Most oral people are like that because they are self concious about their speech/social skills, etc. But most do grow out of that in 20s. I grew out of my insecurity when I developed my own identity. I havent met a hearing man who was NOT insecure. In fact, most hearing men tried to control me because they were too insecure to have a trusting relationship.

My definition of being " too deaf " in their perspective: I did not grow up with Deaf cultural values/norms. Every single deaf person who met me in person always assumed that I am hearing even though I sign ASL fluently now because of my restrained manner. I am reserved and not gossipy. I do not ask them if they went to schools for the deaf or know this certain person ( as it always happen in deaf culture ). I just dont follow their norms/values - most are good but a few can be negative such as backstabbing, gossip and anger at hearing community, etc but don't get me wrong, not ALL are that way)

I was very angry at Deaf community too for being excluded as well more than at Hearing community. I was utterly shocked that no one welcomed me with open arms when I started attending Cal State Univ Northridge. Instead, I was met with hostility and gossip. But over years, I have developed a thick skin and no longer give a DAMN what they think. I got better things to do than worrying about some ignorant immature deaf people.

Looks like Im rambling on too much tonight! LOL ....too bored on a Friday night, I guess :)
 
I'm going on 20 soon. I feel more comfortable with some members of the hearing community than the deaf community.

I have to concede that nobody's perfect... I know my hearing friends aren't (as most of them partake into the shader side of life, but I'm usually okay with it anyhow), but after being excluded from the deaf community and lost a two deaf/HOH friends from death and brain injury (respectively, long story, don't ask), I gave up on the deaf community because of their own emotional disability to accept others.

Funny how one group wants to stop discrimination, but they have no problem discriminating against their own.

And we have nothing better to do on Friday nights, how sad is that?
 
Raven said:
I'm going on 20 soon. I feel more comfortable with some members of the hearing community than the deaf community.

I have to concede that nobody's perfect... I know my hearing friends aren't (as most of them partake into the shader side of life, but I'm usually okay with it anyhow), but after being excluded from the deaf community and lost a two deaf/HOH friends from death and brain injury (respectively, long story, don't ask), I gave up on the deaf community because of their own emotional disability to accept others.

Funny how one group wants to stop discrimination, but they have no problem discriminating against their own.

And we have nothing better to do on Friday nights, how sad is that?
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I hear you loud and clear but I am also smiling because you are not even 20 yet. You will be amazed when time passes. Im 37 and Im amazed at how much I have learnt/changed since I was 19 years old. Just please dont discredit deaf community altogether. You just haven't met the right ones yet and besides you do have hope in deaf community, otherwise you wouldnt be -posting away on AllDeaf.com. That is a sign of hope in itself.

I have to work on Sunday so I am too tired to go out tonight - but not only that, I supervise about 35 deaf people so it is hard to find privacy if I go to deaf events because I have my own boundary lines to maintain. So it sucks at times.
 
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