Do you find it more challenging finding human interaction?

H

HoH_Profound

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Hi,

I've been single for a while and experienced bad and good short relationships, have a small network of friends and family to rely on as a support network when need be.

Do you find being HoH or deaf harder to connect and maintain human interaction with people?

I often feel like despite having a few friends and acquaintances a lot of other people have no time for me with how I come across being HoH or profoundly deaf.

How I describe it as people just slowly or quickly brush you aside, ignore you or walk away. Inside it can feel infuriating people cannot look past the communication barrier and acknowledge a human being.

I think you grow a thick skin from all this and isn't all bad, you learn to focus more on the time you're alone on your own interests and hobbies. Though sometimes it feels like you're alone too much and that can get you down.

Does anyone else experience this?
 
Absolutely. I relate to everything you posted. Interacting is difficult and I find myself avoiding people. I instead find myself focusing on being an artist. I do worry about how much I'm isolating. The interactions that I have with people I worry more that I don't understand them and I say things that are out of context. There isn't a conversation where I don't end up feeling embarrassed. I usually pretend like I understand what they are saying. I think I am good at passing like I understand but in the end, it does nothing but hurt me. I find most conversations I have very stressful and not relaxing or beneficial. The friends I have I cherish but I feel that they have to go through so much just to talk to me. I'm sick of saying I don't understand.
 
My relationship with online friends are better than any relationships I have in real life. I put that down to both my deafness and my being introvert (yes... introvert even though I don't seem like it online lol).

That's one thing that freaks me out about going to the bootcamp in Utah (I was accepted- supposed to start in February if I can come up with the money...)...interacting with the instructors and classmates.....:eek:
 
Like Ducky I too have found solace as an introvert, I have a decent career as a Web Developer and IT Consultant here in DFW, and I use all the tools one would expect to interact with clients (VRI, Interps) and even at meetings in our firm. But years ago I accepted the fact that though I live in the Hearing world I will always exist slightly outside of it at the same time.
The Hearing are always polite and kind, but you know, a person will never write or type everything they might have said, you'll never be the one they come to in ecstasy to share and excited emotion or story. The invites for drinks always pass-by undelivered.
There is always that separation but you have to decide how to let it affect you, wallow in pity, or strive on ahead. Every moment you decide yourself how something will affect you. Or if it will, the thick skin eh HoH_Profound? No need to hide behind your diagnosis here, if you're HoH, cool, Deaf, cool, FoD, cool doesn't need a title.
 
That's probably why I was drawn to a career in computers/IT lol.. less people interaction... but that changed in the last few years- they want more meetings! euugh.. leave me alone and let me do my testing lol.
I started out in the social services field but burned out after about 6-7 years... went to a business school that had a program for COBOL-- QA Tester working with Mainframe for 10 years (give or take- a few gaps in there). That's what brought me to the bootcamp... "modernize" my skills even though I love working on Mainframe. There are still a lot of mainframe jobs out there but the recruiters/HR/hiring people have a bit of a bias with someone with a bigger than 1 year employment gap. My introvertness/shyness in interviews (in person or phone) or networking events (if I go) probably has a small hand in that too.

BTW, I replied to your PM Everlucent :)
 
HoH_Profound said:
Hi,

I've been single for a while and experienced bad and good short relationships, have a small network of friends and family to rely on as a support network when need be.

Do you find being HoH or deaf harder to connect and maintain human interaction with people?

I often feel like despite having a few friends and acquaintances a lot of other people have no time for me with how I come across being HoH or profoundly deaf.

How I describe it as people just slowly or quickly brush you aside, ignore you or walk away. Inside it can feel infuriating people cannot look past the communication barrier and acknowledge a human being.

I think you grow a thick skin from all this and isn't all bad, you learn to focus more on the time you're alone on your own interests and hobbies. Though sometimes it feels like you're alone too much and that can get you down.

Does anyone else experience this?
Click to expand...
Yup, I relate to most of what you said. I isolate quite a lot and I go insane when I do. But too much time around people and struggling to hear is exhausting. One on one or a small group of people who speak clearly is best for me. I also use context a lot and take a while to get used to the way different people pronounce words. That makes conversations with strangers or with people with thick accents very difficult. I’m still trying to figure out how to cope with this. My world is way too small but I haven’t figured out how to expand it.
 
HoH_Profound said:
Hi,

I've been single for a while and experienced bad and good short relationships, have a small network of friends and family to rely on as a support network when need be.

Do you find being HoH or deaf harder to connect and maintain human interaction with people?

I often feel like despite having a few friends and acquaintances a lot of other people have no time for me with how I come across being HoH or profoundly deaf.

How I describe it as people just slowly or quickly brush you aside, ignore you or walk away. Inside it can feel infuriating people cannot look past the communication barrier and acknowledge a human being.

I think you grow a thick skin from all this and isn't all bad, you learn to focus more on the time you're alone on your own interests and hobbies. Though sometimes it feels like you're alone too much and that can get you down.

Does anyone else experience this?
Click to expand...

seems like a pretty common feeling, maybe more so for us introverts? i use ASL so i do connect with the signing community and have deep relationships with ASL users, but introverts like to have few, real, authentic, connections.

i have other degrees of separation, 1) i have chronic illness/pain and have a hard time getting out even when i want to. many of my close friendships have to come to me to be fostered. i often feel bad about that and accept that some relationships won't be as close (most of my friends don't have an issue, it is self-imposed). and, 2) i was in a relationship with a toxic person and when we dissolved that, many were lead to believe something that i really have no privy to, nor do i care, but not combating false info and wanting to walk away clean for the ease of my kids, has me in a tighter hole than i may have chosen.
i get it, it is easy to connect without authenticity (as in the physical world is really the reference), online is an easy way to be whomever you wish, connect however. it is important to have social connections, what is the degree you find yourself seeking out a better fit?

for me:
all that is important- my kids, and they're doing as well as expected, so that is all something i can deal with.

i am not one for being outgoing, seeking, but as long as i accept the consequences of such, that too, is also OKAY :)

be well!!!
 
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