Do any of you get the "you talk too fast" complaint?

Dixie

Dixie

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I said something to my mom tonight and she just kept looking at me, finally I said - What? Then she said "I didnt understand a word you were saying, you mumble and you talk too fast." And it wasn't in a nice way either!

You would think speech therapy would have addressed this, but appearently it has not.

I believe that one talks in the way that he hears speech, especially children. If English is transposed as a rapid flow of words then wouldn't that mean that a person would be more likely to speak and mumble the way I do?

Growing up it was difficult to have a meaningful conversation with my mother because each time I tried to communicate with her she would interrupt my words and tell me to start over and speak clearly. If I failed a second time she would do this 'nevermind' motion. If I couldn't hear her on the second time I would get the 'nevermind' or the 'its not important' thing from her.

Ive always believed that this communication barrier kept our relationship from being what it could be.

My mother refuses sign language and only accomodates to English - which in my opinion is selfish. If she were deaf I do believe she would require everyone to accommodate her. I have always tried to meet her halfway, but it doesn't seem to be effective.

Back on track, has anyone else who grew up orally gotten this reaction from family members?
 
Ive always believed that this communication barrier kept our relationship from being what it could be.
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I think you are right about that.

I though can't help you with your questions but as a hearing person I have also had speech problems when I was younger. Let's just say that my father didn't enjoy my childish talks and always kept interrupting me. That resulted in me starting to stutter, which lead me to have speech therapy for over two years. (Thanks dad!)

I can understand what it could be like to repeat sentences over again because my hoh friend sometimes asks me too. But it's not the end of the world... I would just say the sentence again for her!

I am very much surprised to constantly read on the board that many of your hearing parents don't accept your deafness / hoh problem :( They are your PARENTS! Don't they see how much they hurt you "rejecting" you?!?

JamieLynn
 
Well, I have had everyone tell me I talk to fast and interupt too much - - now I am medicated (funny, ain't it?)....
I am hoh and my parents were very good about. They worked w/ me and also fought for me. Now, my 4 yo son repeats patiently anything I ask him to and as many times as it takes which is usually 4 times. My 3 yo daughter, on the other hand, is very rude to me about it. I think she watches her dad and mimic's him cuz I don't believe we are born rude and impatient. I try to tell her that it isn't nice to yell at me after I ask her say it again, I have a handful to deal w/ when it comes to her.
 
Yea, I have gotten that a lot growing up which was confusing cuz I had people telling me that I could speak so well for a deaf person but I also had people telling me that I talk too fast or mumble. It was very confusing for me as a child.
 
Question: by mumbling do you guys mean as in not very "articulate"? :shrug: - since you don't know how to pronounce the words correctly? (not able to hear them at all - or not properly)

JamieLynn
 
JamieLynn said:
Question: by mumbling do you guys mean as in not very "articulate"? :shrug:
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Jamie, when we say "mumble" in English, a mumbling person means when the speaker often is saying things to himself in a whispering manner. So we cannot understand. Not just for deaf people, but hearing people use this terminology also.

If someone was to mumble in front of another, the person listening can't understand or can't hear what he is saying clearly - making the speaker sound like he/she is talking to themselves.
 
Oh, in that case you mean that your voice is just too low? How can you mumble if you are talking to somebody else, like Dixie says when her mother's response is

"I didnt understand a word you were saying, you mumble and you talk too fast."
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:D JamieLynn

PS. I'm either too tired or too silly today to grasp... ;)
 
JamieLynn said:
Oh, in that case you mean that your voice is just too low? How can you mumble if you are talking to somebody else, like Dixie says when her mother's response is

Dixie said:
Then she said "I didnt understand a word you were saying, you mumble and you talk too fast."
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Yeah, voice too low is the key. It is the assumption that the person listening assumes the speaker is talking to themselves ;)

JamieLynn said:
PS. I'm either too tired or too silly today to grasp... ;)
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Must've had a long day at work!


To be back on Dixie's topic:
I get the "I talk too soft" complaint sometimes. I think it has to do with when I used to talk real loud a friend said to me, "you need to quiet down, everyone's talking at 10% voice capacity".

Then I started watching what I was saying... also the stereotype that talking deaf people speak TOO LOUD.
 
OT: I tend to "mumble" when I sign (fingerspelling not clear, dropping signs etc). Trying to work on it cuz i'm sure it drives my deaf friends crazy.:doh:
 
ive been told i talk too low and they cant hear me. was even told once "well someone that cant hear usually yells and you dont i cant hear a word you say!" i grew up in the hearing world but have always been hard of hearing. had the CI done in the left ear 4 days ago and ive found that im completly deaf in that ear now. ive got a notebook and pens i keep handy for someone to write in too.
 
Multi-handicap here. So I definitely don't speak too fast. It is sometimes pointed out that I am not actually making any noise when I am speaking. So I take a deep breath and force that volume up.
 
JamieLynn said:
Question: by mumbling do you guys mean as in not very "articulate"? :shrug: - since you don't know how to pronounce the words correctly? (not able to hear them at all - or not properly)

JamieLynn
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I wouldnt know..it is hearing people who tell me that I am mumbling. :dunno:
 
shel90 said:
I wouldnt know..it is hearing people who tell me that I am mumbling. :dunno:
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Nice answer... simply because I realise now what I am actually asking for ;) urgh... ok :giggle: I sort of get the idea though... :ty: - please don't hate me for asking silly questions

:roll: JamieLynn
 
No, no, your questions aren't silly Jamie! I have also been told that hoh tend to mumble more beecause that is how they hear and interpret speech - a bunch of mumbling!

However one poster brings up CIs. I always thought that pre-lingual unilateral deafness did not qualify for a CI, however as time progresses along with the eventual loss of hearing completely in my right ear, HAs may not be effective for me and I may eventually get a CI.

Back on track to the main topic mumbling refers to the low volume of speech that is unintelligible to the audience.

Like for instance having the TV volume set to low - you know the people are talking but you can't quite make out what they are saying - that is mumbling.

I know my parents only wanted the best for me but I believe they were fed a lot of oralist rubbish about deafness when they first found out I was deaf and believed that I would be 'better off' learning speech and whatnot. Given that at the time I already knew what speech was and where it originated and that it is a method of communication, I believe I would have benefitted extremely well with a Bi-Bi approach to a full language acquisition.

Now get this, my speech is rather unintelligible at times, but my writing is extremely clear. I believe this is because of my heavy dependence on written instructions in school and having to write notes and email my peers while I was in school in order to effectively communicate.

I also absolutely HATE being called upon in class to read parts of a play from the text, or to give an oral presentation due to my speech. Not that it's completely unintelligible, Im just afraid I will speak too fast and/or mumble and sound like a mentally handicapped person when that is not at all the case. (and I don't intend to harm anyone who has a mental handicap or has a family member with a handicap when I say that).

Sometimes when I am at Wal-Mart and I find myself really stumbling over my speech - I will whip out the phone and write my request on the notepad feature. Some of the sales people there are aware of my deafness and know that I have trouble with my speech some - but they also know I am not a complete idiot either, despite the stereotype that bad speech also equate bad intelligence.

Now another question; would I benefit from speech therapy through VRS now to possibly improve my speech or would it be an entire waste of time? If not speech therapy exact, then perhaps are there speech excercises I could do on my own to help improve it?
 
I used to have the problem of speaking too fast as well as dropping a lot of sounds (s, z, l, f, and v's), but after my school dumped their poor excuse of a speech therapist (made me read poorly written poems and interrupted me every time I made a mistake) and replaced her with a new one who focused more on (proper articulation and self monitoring) my speed slowed down while my volume and general intelligibility went up.

This may be just me (I have a lot of missing muscle and nerve tissue from a bout of neuroblastoma in the neck) but try focusing on feeling and slightly exagerating your sounds.
 
Oh god, must I go around talking like I'm from London? :lol: No, offense I love London, but around here if I started talking 'English' I would get some very strange looks.
 
Dixie said:
Oh god, must I go around talking like I'm from London? :lol: No, offense I love London, but around here if I started talking 'English' I would get some very strange looks.
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you know - I think speaking as English person is easier for deaf oral to be understood because of enunciation. I'm just guessing.
 
My friends and my terp call themselves my "volume control". They say I speak too softly. They give me thumbs up/down or turn an imaginary knob to let me know gently that I'm volume-impaired. When I speak louder, I feel like I'm shouting.

But then they tell me I slam doors and drawers loudly. Can't seem to win...
 
I agree to DeafDoc

DeafDoc1 said:
My friends and my terp call themselves my "volume control". They say I speak too softly. They give me thumbs up/down or turn an imaginary knob to let me know gently that I'm volume-impaired. When I speak louder, I feel like I'm shouting.

But then they tell me I slam doors and drawers loudly. Can't seem to win...
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That is sound greated I am glad of you I agree you I cannot to scream because I don't want know I understand that is clear understand....:cool2:
 
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