DMV/Police Placard Handed Out At ASL Class

Reba said:
I'm not making any endorsements but I found this other resource:

http://www.hearinglosshelp.com/articles/visorcards.htm

They offer two different kinds of visor cards--one for Deaf ASL user, and one for HoH oral non-signer. They also offer the cards for sale or print out your own.
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I remember when a copy said something me while I was in my car and I did not hear him. He came over my car with his face bright red and yelled " Are you deaf or something!" I told the cop " I am HOH !" he just walked away and said nothing he was directing traffic and I just drove off. I hope that stopped to think the next time that a person may be deaf or hoh before blow his top off !
 
VA Bowbender said:
. . . My biggest hurtle is not having anyone to practice with. My wife WILL NOT make time even to study lifeprint.com with me. She still doesn't get it that in an environment with ambient noise I can make out conversation. She also thinks that if I'm not in the room with her all she has to do is yell louder. (FRUSTRATED!!!!)
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I'm very sorry that your wife doesn't want to learn how to sign. My Hubby and I are both hearing, and we so enjoyed taking the classes together. Also, even though we are both hearing, ASL has come in very handy (ha, ha) when speaking out loud wasn't suitable. We had fun with it. :)
 
Reba said:
I'm very sorry that your wife doesn't want to learn how to sign. My Hubby and I are both hearing, and we so enjoyed taking the classes together. Also, even though we are both hearing, ASL has come in very handy (ha, ha) when speaking out loud wasn't suitable. We had fun with it. :)
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Yeah, and I've tried to put it forward to her that way too. We also could have fun with it. But...I'm tired of asking and beating my head against a wall over it. I'll find other avenues to learn and practice.



 
VA Bowbender, have you sat her down and talked about how she's not respecting you at all by acting the way she does? Talk to her about how difficult it is being deaf and how you feel left out and isolated when you're in groups, and tell her how it makes you feel when she yells for you and feels that is sufficient?

This is the reason that I don't talk with my family at all, because they treat me the same way. They don't love me enough to take any steps to communicate with me. I know several people who have divorced because one partner lost more hearing and the other wasn't willing to accept it and therefore wasn't willing to make the effort.

And as far as my using deaf vs HoH, I came across a very good definition of who is deaf and who is HoH. HoH is when you don't rely on visual cues to understand what is said to you. Deaf (little d) is when you do rely on them for comprehension. Your wife may not truly realize or accept that you rely on visual cues (lipreading, ASL, things written down) and maybe having a talk about that can help.

Given that I wasn't married to my family I could fairly easily separate from them, plus I never loved them the way I love my partner. If my partner refused to accept this about me and refused to accomodate me, I would probably end up leaving them after trying my best because I couldn't hack the daily constant frustration. That's another thing you can bring up, the amount of stress and frustration and constant work you have to do. You can never relax and just have a conversation, and you'd like to have that with the most important person in your life.
 
Eater of Worlds said:
VA Bowbender, have you sat her down and talked about how she's not respecting you at all by acting the way she does? Talk to her about how difficult it is being deaf and how you feel left out and isolated when you're in groups, and tell her how it makes you feel when she yells for you and feels that is sufficient?

This is the reason that I don't talk with my family at all, because they treat me the same way. They don't love me enough to take any steps to communicate with me. I know several people who have divorced because one partner lost more hearing and the other wasn't willing to accept it and therefore wasn't willing to make the effort.

And as far as my using deaf vs HoH, I came across a very good definition of who is deaf and who is HoH. HoH is when you don't rely on visual cues to understand what is said to you. Deaf (little d) is when you do rely on them for comprehension. Your wife may not truly realize or accept that you rely on visual cues (lipreading, ASL, things written down) and maybe having a talk about that can help.

Given that I wasn't married to my family I could fairly easily separate from them, plus I never loved them the way I love my partner. If my partner refused to accept this about me and refused to accomodate me, I would probably end up leaving them after trying my best because I couldn't hack the daily constant frustration. That's another thing you can bring up, the amount of stress and frustration and constant work you have to do. You can never relax and just have a conversation, and you'd like to have that with the most important person in your life.
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The thing you mention make perfect sense. My wife has sworn (several times) that she will make an effort to begin learning ASL. I guess what really infuriates me is the fact that my wife was born with Spina Bifida and is mostly wheelchair bound. I married her fully accepting her limitations. Now that I'm having limitations she's not reciprocating. AND...AND...she is president of Verizon's Disabilities Issues Awareness Leaders (DIAL)
http://www.verizon.com/about/news/my-disability-doesn’t-define-me/
I know my wife has a lot on her plate with work and getting her 2nd Masters Degree. I love her very much and she loves me but I need her to start trying to do this for ME.
 
Reba said:
I'm very sorry that your wife doesn't want to learn how to sign. My Hubby and I are both hearing, and we so enjoyed taking the classes together. Also, even though we are both hearing, ASL has come in very handy (ha, ha) when speaking out loud wasn't suitable. We had fun with it. :)
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I was thinking this would a great for kids to talk at night when they should be sleeping. :giggle:
 
Reading what she said, to paraphrase, "Through the support of Verizon, I've been given the freedom to truly shine."

You could say to her, "Without the support of my family, I've not been given the freedom to truly shine."

You're right, she's being very hypocritical and it sounds like she's being a bit selfish too. I know she's working on another degree, but is there any way you can get her into the class you're taking? That way she has no excuse about not learning it. Also, don't let her slip into the crutch of always having something more important to do than learn your language and learn to communicate with you, and if she does call her out on it. By that I mean "Oh, I have another deadline at work" "Oh, something else came up at work, let me put "communicating with you" down on the bottom of the list of things important to me and let me finish my wants first" because that's really what she's saying when she puts it off and she needs to be aware she's doing that.
 
Eater of Worlds said:
Reading what she said, to paraphrase, "Through the support of Verizon, I've been given the freedom to truly shine."

You could say to her, "Without the support of my family, I've not been given the freedom to truly shine."

You're right, she's being very hypocritical and it sounds like she's being a bit selfish too. I know she's working on another degree, but is there any way you can get her into the class you're taking? That way she has no excuse about not learning it. Also, don't let her slip into the crutch of always having something more important to do than learn your language and learn to communicate with you, and if she does call her out on it. By that I mean "Oh, I have another deadline at work" "Oh, something else came up at work, let me put "communicating with you" down on the bottom of the list of things important to me and let me finish my wants first" because that's really what she's saying when she puts it off and she needs to be aware she's doing that.
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I agree with you. How in the world would VA Bowbender and his wife be able to communicate each other as husband and wife in their marriage? Communication is important so ASL is a must if VA Bowbender could not understand every time his wife could not provide him to sign ASL with him.

If she refused to learn ASL to communicate with him, that would make it harder to stay together not communicating their different way to communicate. She would rather do oral and also expect him to listen like my hearing husband had done. Lipreading is not 100% accurate. That leave only about 30% of what VA Bowbender could make out.

As for the ASL Placard, I would like to have it only that I would rather have the word "I am Deaf" instead of Hard Of Hearing. I will try to ask the DMV if they have it. I don't have the printer. :ty:
 
Here's a good example. Tonight my wife ordered dinner from Panera, online. I went and picked up the order. When I got home my order was incorrect. My wife said to me call them and tell them. I had to say to her "will YOU please call for me you can hear better than me". I get a big eye roll like I'm putting her out. By the way the phone is within an arms reach of her. I'm wondering if she thinks that just because I now have Captel[emoji768] on my cellphone that a phone call is no problem anymore?
 
I would sit her down and ask her why she has this attitude towards you and your disability. I honestly could not go on in a relationship like that. If you feel the same, mention it to her.
 
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