Divorce Experience- Advice Needed

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MsSaraB

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Hi everyone!

Normally I don't ask for advice unless I really don't know what to do. This isn't a whining post. I'm in the process of a divorce but I'm certainly not grieving over that relationship, trust me. Just seems like it's taking forever and I don't know. I feel like I'm sitting in limbo here just waiting. I don't know what to expect from this whole thing. We are supposed to have a mediation set up soon and I've never been through one so I don't know what I'm about to get myself into. I don't know what to expect if it gets to court and I don't know if I'm supposed to be moving on with my life now or after or how to actually move on. I'm also a mom and my son is young right now, he is 15 Months today. Been studying up on baseball and such so that I can play both roles when I need to. Anyway, the point to this is that if it isn't too much to ask, I'd like to hear about any experienes that any of you have had in this area. What mediation and court was like... and single mothers that have advice or experience to share. I'd really appreciate it. :wave:

Thanks :ty:
 
good for you just move on with your life...i was married to a turd years ago i got great satisfaction of costing his car over a hill and wrecking it...it was mgbgt red sports job he never new it was me and seeing the turd cry was intoxicating feeling...i had no mediation thank god to sit in same room as him i would have puked..
all i can say is let your kid see you work to put food on table or study let him see his mother got balls even if his dad dont.
you got to let child know his dad though and that will be one of the things discussed.what ever an arse your x is you got give him chance be a father
 
Thanks and I so wish I could drive his car off a hill. lol. Lucky you! :giggle:

I'm not keeping him from the baby... but I just don't think he will turn out to be a great dad even if I try to make him do the right thing.:roll:
 
thats all you can do...your son will see for himself as time go on but obviously if he going to let child down and be total arse then you going have be putting your foot down sadly not on your x head..them mediation things do they try and make you stay together because i tell them get stuffed?good luck you sound strong person,stay focus it no be easy but it lot better than living with a toss pot
 
My divorse was many years ago...and not a pleasant one...he began by telling the judge about how much money he had spent on me and the trips we had taken....and I in turn, told the judge about his "topless bars fetish"...so we got into a shouting match! Accusing each other of everything....

My feelings were that the judge was thinking...."better let them get a divorse and away from each other"....

But anyway, have patience. Things wil fall into place, just as they should be...you might go thru periods of crying and depression (as I did)...because no matter what, Divorse is a hurtful thing.....
 
caz12 said:
thats all you can do...your son will see for himself as time go on but obviously if he going to let child down and be total arse then you going have be putting your foot down sadly not on your x head..them mediation things do they try and make you stay together because i tell them get stuffed?good luck you sound strong person,stay focus it no be easy but it lot better than living with a toss pot
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Yea I guess he will. and thanks again:ty:

haha "toss pot". :laugh2: Never heard that one but I like it.
 
rockin'robin said:
My divorse was many years ago...and not a pleasant one...he began by telling the judge about how much money he had spent on me and the trips we had taken....and I in turn, told the judge about his "topless bars fetish"...so we got into a shouting match! Accusing each other of everything....

My feelings were that the judge was thinking...."better let them get a divorse and away from each other"....

But anyway, have patience. Things wil fall into place, just as they should be...you might go thru periods of crying and depression (as I did)...because no matter what, Divorse is a hurtful thing.....
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Thank you for responding. geez.. I was hoping that it would be quick and painless if it got to court, but I guess it IS wishful thinking after all.
It is a hurtful thing, though sometimes I don't understand why. It's not grief for him. I worry most about Alexander and how it will affect him.
 
Bumping the thread

Sorry for bumping this, but mediation is coming up soon. They're supposed to schedule for sometime in august and some insight on what to expect would be wonderful right now.
 
I'm not sure about Florida divorce laws but do you get to retain parental custody of Alexander?
Will the ex end up having to pay alimony? Depending on your financial situation of course.
Did your divorce attorney recommend you to do anything? They will probably be the best judges of what the proceeds are in your case.

In any event, good luck! If there's anything I can help out on - if you want a username change, I can forward a request to Alex for you.
 
make sure how much he going to pay up in child surpport property or tenancy arrangments and see if common ground you could take for childs sake grandparents on his side will they be surppotive,i imagine in your case cos american then health insurence is he going to pay for you and child until you can..it will mainly revolve about whats in childs intrests so no custerty battles that what would happen in my country and obviously how to stay in same room as him without puking.be very assertive go into it wanting best for child.he will lie and be real turd but keep your cool
 
naisho said:
I'm not sure about Florida divorce laws but do you get to retain parental custody of Alexander?
Will the ex end up having to pay alimony? Depending on your financial situation of course.
Did your divorce attorney recommend you to do anything? They will probably be the best judges of what the proceeds are in your case.

In any event, good luck! If there's anything I can help out on - if you want a username change, I can forward a request to Alex for you.
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Yes, Alexander is living with me. I could make him pay alimony if I wanted to but we are keeping it as a bargaining tool to see if we can convince him to sign the papers so we don't need to go to court. It's not like I'm asking for anything. I left with the baby and my clothes. He got everything else. The house, car, even the crock pot. So I guess he just wants to waste all his money on being difficult. :dunno2:
For some of this, you're right it is something I need to "man up" about and just ask my lawyer. I get too embarassed to ask a lot of non-legal questions when I see them. I love my lawyer and his paralegal and they are fantastic at what they do, but neither of them have been through it as the client so I guess maybe it's the perspective that I'm looking for here. I'm also not comfortable talking about it with family much because there are no secrets in my family. (They're all extroverts and very nosy) :giggle:


As for the username change.. YES! Please!!!! :ty: Thank you thank you thank you! :ty: Every time I type it it's like a kick in the gut. MsSaraB would be still somewhat similar and more recognizable to other users. :D You just made my day.
 
caz12 said:
make sure how much he going to pay up in child surpport property or tenancy arrangments and see if common ground you could take for childs sake grandparents on his side will they be surppotive,i imagine in your case cos american then health insurence is he going to pay for you and child until you can..it will mainly revolve about whats in childs intrests so no custerty battles that what would happen in my country and obviously how to stay in same room as him without puking.be very assertive go into it wanting best for child.he will lie and be real turd but keep your cool
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Thanks for responding. It sounds like it's not going to be anything totally unexpected then. As for the puking lol maybe if I puke it will get him to leave faster. :giggle:
 
My one,piece of advice is to be very careful when it comes to custody of your son. My ex at the beginning of our divorce only had every other weekend, which he missed a lot of. Later when he became involved with another women, she decided that the child support was too high and that they should have more time with our son. I was sure mediation would side with me, since he seldom showed for his visits. SHOCK!!!! mediation wanted dad to spend more time with his son, and suggested 50/50. Thank god he never followed thru. 25 years later, my son does not speak to his dad. I never spoke badly about him, afterall our sons are part of their fathers. He learned fairly early who he could and could not trust. Wishing you all the best!!!
 
Angle1989 said:
My one,piece of advice is to be very careful when it comes to custody of your son. My ex at the beginning of our divorce only had every other weekend, which he missed a lot of. Later when he became involved with another women, she decided that the child support was too high and that they should have more time with our son. I was sure mediation would side with me, since he seldom showed for his visits. SHOCK!!!! mediation wanted dad to spend more time with his son, and suggested 50/50. Thank god he never followed thru. 25 years later, my son does not speak to his dad. I never spoke badly about him, afterall our sons are part of their fathers. He learned fairly early who he could and could not trust. Wishing you all the best!!!
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Thank you, I am being very careful about all of it and can only hope that he does not fool the courts the way he fooled me. I'll definitely proceed with caution.
Glad things worked out for you. :)
 
I had a family member going through a divorce. They would not even agree on which marriage counselor to speak to!!! You can imagine that it was downhill rest of the way.
 
Another source of info: the public library-lots to read and consider.
 
Well.. It's getting interesting. Let's just say that people sure do show their true colors in times like these.:roll:

OH! and as far as learning about sports and such.. haha. I'm really starting to like baseball. Never noticed before but baseball players are ;)
 
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i thimk you have to accept he will try fool the courts they always do,you got think out of the box or put him in it...good luck and try keep your sense of humour dont let the bastard take that away cos he will try
 
Oh he already tried but got slapped down. Fortunately, they saw right through him.
 
MsSaraB said:
Hi everyone!

Normally I don't ask for advice unless I really don't know what to do. This isn't a whining post. I'm in the process of a divorce but I'm certainly not grieving over that relationship, trust me. Just seems like it's taking forever and I don't know. I feel like I'm sitting in limbo here just waiting. I don't know what to expect from this whole thing. We are supposed to have a mediation set up soon and I've never been through one so I don't know what I'm about to get myself into. I don't know what to expect if it gets to court and I don't know if I'm supposed to be moving on with my life now or after or how to actually move on. I'm also a mom and my son is young right now, he is 15 Months today. Been studying up on baseball and such so that I can play both roles when I need to. Anyway, the point to this is that if it isn't too much to ask, I'd like to hear about any experienes that any of you have had in this area. What mediation and court was like... and single mothers that have advice or experience to share. I'd really appreciate it. :wave:

Thanks :ty:
Click to expand...

It depend on what is involve with the divorce ,your lawyer should be telling you what to expect at the mediation , you're paying them good money and they should helping you with the whole divorce process. I divorce my husband and filed a no fault divorce , we had no kids and the condo is only in my name. I kicked him out of my home , and I paid for the whole divorce and was in complete control . We went to court and the judge granted us the divorce . It was very fast and easy. Having a child is going to made things take longer and if you own property and cars and have joint credit cards that will need to be settled too. I would write down all the questions and concerns I have then call up my lawyer and have them answer them, and if you feel your lawyer is not doing a good job you can get a new one.
 
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