I even wondered if she made up that sign.
That is not among my signs for PENIS. It sounds more like a sign for INTERCOURSE to me. There's no reason to make the circle unless you're talking about some kind of sex.
Do many interpreters have the guts to do the penis sign?
It's just a body part. If an interpreter is that shy to not be able to sign PENIS or VAGINA then she is going to have problems in her career.
I think it's ethically better to just spell it when among hearing people watching. If I knew better, I would have said something.
I think if you make arrangements with your interpreter due to your own discomfort, that is perfectly fine. I would never have said "no" if a student asked me to fingerspell something instead of signing it.
However, there is nothing ethically wrong with signing the actual signs. That is an interpreter's job, to interpret what is said in English into, among other things, ASL. It would be ethically wrong to skip that information or, in my opinion, fingerspell it just because the interpreter doesn't like to think about peepees or vajayjays.
There are certainly situations where interpreters may not be able to handle the subject matter. I knew an interpreter who asked to be reassigned from a class due to a student constantly spouting anti-Semitic stuff. (All of which he DID interpret while he was there.) Being Jewish, I would have done the same in his position. If an interpreter has been raped, it might be too hard for her to interpret a rape-related discussion. We're all human after all. But body parts -- at least the correct signs for them! -- should be part of any educational interpreter's lexicon.
I think here you might be applying your own personal discomfort to every person and situation. Again, talking to the terp is the best way to go here, but aside from the fact that I don't think that sign was appropriate if there wasn't a discussion of intercourse, there is nothing inherently unethical about signing the correct ASL signs. I've worked in a number of health classes and never had a problem with this. I even had to interpret one asshole teacher talking about how great his turds were. Yes, I had to classify "NICE GIANT TURD."
Handling the hearies in the class is, as I mentioned, a whole other skill interpreters need to know.
I think the simplest way to solve the actor and actress is to the sign woman or male sign before signing actor or actress.
Completely agree, that's the simplest and clearest way to do it. If there is a person's name involved I just sign "ACTOR" since the name will make it clear if male or female. But if the sentence were, for example, "I need to hire an actress," I would do what you said.