Debating going silent.

BecLak said:
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It is a 'loud and clear' statement. It will stir the waters at first but after it settles it will calm and everyone will accept it eventually. It takes courage and determination to make change happen.
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I disagree. I find it passive aggressive, but to each their own.
 
LK said:
Looks like this has been answered pretty thoroughly. ADA requires reasonable accommodation (which use of e-mail most certainly is), but it can't stop people from being jerks. I prefer to believe that most people do that out of ignorance. Hopefully they'll be open to some education on what it's like to function as HoH in a hearing world, and how much work you're already putting in to accommodate them. Communication is a two-way street; you're not the only one responsible for its success.

I noticed the families of my clients often assumed a hearing aid was a cure. In some cases, we had to do some significant retraining of THEM to help them understand how complex speech is, and start thinking about what they can do to facilitate understanding (like talking more slowly as opposed to shouting, making sure lips are visible, rephrasing, and not just saying "Nevermind").

I wonder if it would open their eyes to try going silent but still moving your lips...let them understand that this is what you're working with, and it IS work. But they sound like they're not too open to your perspective.
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Yeah I agree. I like the idea of not speaking and moving my lips. I don't know how people would take that at work. I was moved yesterday and I didn't have to deal with that supervisor at all. I wonder if she is just bored and insecure with herself that she feels the need to do so?
There was one woman at work who was very nice! We had a meeting and she told me everything that was said during the meeting. It was really helpful and thoughtful (I didn't ask her to do that). My family is actually being pretty good about it. My stepdad used to have a crush on a deaf girl, so he learned how to sign and communicate with her and he applies everything from then to now. My mom is catching on and my grandmother knows if she wants me to come downstairs, she can call my cellphone and I'll see the number pop up on the screen and I'll go downstairs. I just wish people at work were a little creative and wanting to communicate with me. Their loss.

Thank you for all your help. :)
 
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I'm am clueless on how to post up a video clip so perhaps someone can help me out here pls......or you can go direct to YouTube to view it: Dr Don: 'why I don't use my voice' .


It explains the reasons why many of us 'oral Deafies' are making the change to voice-off. I think he covered many of basics.
 
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BecLak said:
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I'm am clueless on how to post up a video clip so perhaps someone can help me out here pls......or you can go direct to YouTube to view it: Dr Don: 'why I don't use my voice' .


It explains the reasons why many of us 'oral Deafies' are making the change to voice-off. I think he covered many of basics.
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Still makes no sense to me. I see my voice as a useful tool and I don't see the logic in not using all the tools one is equipped with. I really enjoy being able to talk to others, not to mention singing. To each their own....
 
TXgolfer said:
Still makes no sense to me. I see my voice as a useful tool and I don't see the logic in not using all the tools one is equipped with. I really enjoy being able to talk to others, not to mention singing. To each their own....
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Singing?? :lol:

This whole thread is just the opposite sides of the late deaf coin.

Those who want to be perceived as Deaf as possible, and those who want to hold on to the old hearing identity.

It's never going to change.

So really, just start your own thread in praise of speech.
 
Bottesini said:
Singing?? :lol:

This whole thread is just the opposite sides of the late deaf coin.

Those who want to be perceived as Deaf as possible, and those who want to hold on to the old hearing identity.

It's never going to change.

So really, just start your own thread in praise of speech.
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Actually, the OP said that she was "debating". I am merely presenting my opinions on the matter.

I disagree with your assertion that choosing to speak is a desire to hang on to hearing identity.

Edit to add, yes I enjoy singing.
 
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TXgolfer said:
Bottesini said:
Singing?? :lol:







This whole thread is just the opposite sides of the late deaf coin.







Those who want to be perceived as Deaf as possible, and those who want to hold on to the old hearing identity.







It's never going to change.







So really, just start your own thread in praise of speech.
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Actually, the OP said that she was "debating". I am merely presenting my opinions on the matter.







I disagree with your assertion that choosing to speak is a desire to hang on to hearing identity.
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It is purely a matter of choice. I am advocating for voice-off because I for one was not afforded the opportunity to choose, I was not given all the options available to me, because when I was diagnosed as severely-deaf - it was back in the early '70s and I was thrust into the 'experiment' of the trend to send deaf kids (especially those from hearing families) into mainstream schools and oral speech therapy. Had I had the opportunity to experience a full-on sign language environment back then I would have chosen it. Thus, I am choosing now. As the old saying goes 'Better late than never'. I know that there are many like me out there, who maybe haven't been able to gather enough courage to break through and make those changes. I'm saying 'Why not? If you want to go voice-off - go for it' . I did.
 
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BecLak said:
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It is purely a matter of choice. I am advocating for voice-off because I for one was not afforded the opportunity to choose, I was not given all the options available to me, because when I was diagnosed as severely-deaf - it was back in the early '70s and I was thrust into the 'experiment' of the trend to send deaf kids (especially those from hearing families) into mainstream schools and oral speech therapy. Had I had the opportunity to experience a full-on sign language environment back then I would have chosen it. Thus, I am choosing now. As the old saying goes 'Better late than never'. I know that there are many like me out there, who maybe haven't been able to gather enough courage to break through and make those changes. I'm saying 'Why not? If you want to go voice-off - go for it' . I did.
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I agree, it is purely a matter of choice. Personally I think it takes more courage to stand up for yourself and say "hey, just because I can speak doesn't mean I can hear you speaking". Personally it would make me sad to change what I do in order to make prove my point. But I respect your opinion.
 
BecLak said:
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It is purely a matter of choice. I am advocating for voice-off because I for one was not afforded the opportunity to choose, I was not given all the options available to me, because when I was diagnosed as severely-deaf - it was back in the early '70s and I was thrust into the 'experiment' of the trend to send deaf kids (especially those from hearing families) into mainstream schools and oral speech therapy. Had I had the opportunity to experience a full-on sign language environment back then I would have chosen it. Thus, I am choosing now. As the old saying goes 'Better late than never'. I know that there are many like me out there, who maybe haven't been able to gather enough courage to break through and make those changes. I'm saying 'Why not? If you want to go voice-off - go for it' . I did.
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courage to your on issues your lots of support!!! it is pretty encourage to lots of support, I see voice office I interesting


I reading to your comments, It is pretty your comments I am surprised your images I am surprised! you have increase support look likes education sound look likes great!
 
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Smithtr said:
BecLak said:
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It is purely a matter of choice. I am advocating for voice-off because I for one was not afforded the opportunity to choose, I was not given all the options available to me, because when I was diagnosed as severely-deaf - it was back in the early '70s and I was thrust into the 'experiment' of the trend to send deaf kids (especially those from hearing families) into mainstream schools and oral speech therapy. Had I had the opportunity to experience a full-on sign language environment back then I would have chosen it. Thus, I am choosing now. As the old saying goes 'Better late than never'. I know that there are many like me out there, who maybe haven't been able to gather enough courage to break through and make those changes. I'm saying 'Why not? If you want to go voice-off - go for it' . I did.
Click to expand...

courage to your on issues your lots of support!!! it is pretty encourage to lots of support, I see voice office I interesting


I reading to your comments, It is pretty your comments I am surprised your images I am surprised! you have increase support look likes education sound look likes great!
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Thanks Smithtr! :)
 
Another group to consider re going Voice off: Trappists monks-according to Thomas Merton.
 
I can completely relate to you. I went from perfect hearing to% deaf last year after an accident, and I have made the decision to go voice off. While I know how to talk, I hate not knowing how I sound, and I've had to deal with others not believing the extent of my hearing loss (100%) because I apparently still sound "normal". It has been an incredibly tough adjustment for everyone, but it feels right to me. I'm in college, and my close friends have adapted. I rely mostly on lip reading, and I rely heavily on writing things down, texting, etc. Down the road, I might learn sign, but for now, this just is the right thing for me.

-Lauren

softabak said:
Hi everyone! I need some advice..

I thought maybe this would fit under "Adjusting to late onset deafness" but I wasn't sure..

So anyways! I have always been HOH. Recently I lost my hearing completely. I can lip read really well (although I get crazy headaches by the end of the day now) and can get by so-so. At work, people assume I can hear or am lying about my deafness because I speak. So I have honestly been debating giving up my speech, and maybe only talking in my own home. I haven't told any of my friends or have seen them since I completely lost my hearing because they weren't very accommodating in the first place and I don't think they will be now (I feel mean saying that but it's true...).

At work my boss has sent out emails twice requesting people only contact me via email and hardly anyone does. It's very frustrating. I feel like people don't take me seriously. One of my supervisors keeps piling on extra work for me and the other day she tried to make me answer the phone.

So because of all of this, I feel like I just want to give up speaking. What do you think? Does it sound silly?
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caz12 said:
drph i was commenting on beclak notes under his posts
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In answer to your comment. My mother had a difficult pregnancy with me, it was an extremely complicated case. The doctors said, medically, I would not survive, but I did and was born premature. Since I was also born severely-deaf, then God designed me to be that way. If not, then I was either not meant to be, or I would be totally Hearing. I personally believe in The Divine Presence of God but I am not here to debate His existance. As for voice-off it is a preference, choice on my part for reasons I have already explained.



(P.s. btw, I'm a she :) )
 
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OP I really can relate to your situation. I found my office to be less than accommodating and certain competitive workmates used my deafness to their advantage to exclude me. They made no accommodations in meetings so imagine being in a meeting room with 20 people all trying to talk at the same time. My hearing aids helped but then people think you understand everything because you can speak and have aids.

I have thought about being silent to force these people to do their part in communicating.

The phone thing was maddening. People insisting I used the phone after I repeatedly told them I couldn't. This place had a no email Friday and everyone had to pick up the phone and no emails.

I would like to put those people in a room with people only speaking some language they didn't know and every attempt they made to speak be ignored and see how they would like it.

I left that job and I am starting a small business.

Good luck to you.
 
[ame=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cg0nBh0si0Q]Why I do not use my voice - YouTube[/ame]

I watched this the other day and he really makes some good points. I've been considering it also cept with my family of course.

Also I think it would make others responsible for their part of the conversation. leveling the field so to speak.

Just my opinion
Jacque
 
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