Death in family....

dereksbicycles said:
Yeah, some families just want family invited to funeral. I can understand that. I don't know if I would have invited my girlfriend if it was my Grandpa passing away. Maybe I would have. Maybe not. It's hard to speculate. I guess that she prefer to not invite me. I've to not take that personally.
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I've been to a lot of funerals but I don't recall ever being invited to one. Usually there's a public notice in the newspaper announcing a funeral, and those who are interested attend, unless the notice specifies private or family only. It's not an occasion to which you would invite a date.
 
Reba said:
I've been to a lot of funerals but I don't recall ever being invited to one. Usually there's a public notice in the newspaper announcing a funeral, and those who are interested attend, unless the notice specifies private or family only. It's not an occasion to which you would invite a date.
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True!!
 
It could be a lot of things.

Some people rush their being open to others while others are cautious with it.

Try to look at it from a positive point of view and give her space. It might make her feel better if you were to get her a sympathy card.
 
It's a tough one Darek. I guess I can only answer #2 for you. It must be really confusing and frustrating at the same time. Most girls are not so straight forward which gives us guys a lot of deciphering and analyzing to do. The fact that she is going through this experience...her thoughts are probably even more scattered and it can be difficult to translate her. This could be tricky but...I think asking her careful questions to fully get a good sketch of what's really going on in her head can be useful to you. Of course, give her an ear when she needs it during this time, but ask your questions so you can see where she's headed, that's the best way to get a straight reading out of her.

I am quite familiar with the feelings you are going through...hang on tight my friend, I hope things work out well for both of you.
 
dereksbicycles said:
My girlfriend and I have been having on/off relationship. She has said that I've low self esteem and it's hard to have a relationship if one person has low self esteem. As result, I've been working hard to improve my self-esteem.

However, this hit me hard....see, last Saturday, her Grandpa passed away. Granted, we have been friends for 7 months, then dating for 5 months. I've never met Grandpa before. I only know him from pictures. Visitation hours were yestersday. Funeral is today. I feel sad that I wasn't invited to funeral. Is that a clue that she doesn't want a relationship? Or do you think she may be awkward about inviting me since I never met him? Or do you think she may just want to grieve on her own?

She does have one younger sister who is on work/study program in Costa Rica so she cannot make it. It kind of makes me a little bit better. You know, it would be unfair if I go and she cannot make it.

Keep in mind that she has said that she loves me, but she needs some space to deal with Grandpa's death.

I guess that I'm asking here 2 thing. If you were the girlfriend, would you invite me to funeral or better to not invite me? 2. If you were the guy, how would you feel? Hurt or sad that you weren't invited? Or think that it wouldn't be right to go since you never met Grandpa?
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I think at the end of the day you need to put your feelings aside and think about your girlfriend and what she's going through...
It's not about whether you were invited or not - you don't invite people to a funeral - but I would think she would ask you to be there for her, if she wanted you there. Maybe she feels that she would like to grieve with her family. You've only been dating for 5mths - maybe she doesn't feel it's appropriate.

I mean no disrespect but I feel your post is a little "what about me?" when the bigger picture is your girlfriend lost someone close to her and is hurting in the worst way. Your feelings don't matter to her right now.

I think sending a card or flowers to express your sorrow is enough in this instance. You just need to be there for her without pushing yourself onto her... Maybe ask if she wants you there at the funeral and if she says no, leave it... Tell her she can talk to you anytime... Give her space, let her grieve...

I apologise if what I said is harsh or offensive in anyway but you need to remember, its not about you right now. Just be there, thats all you can do :hug:
 
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