Deafness Excuse 2 Avoid Being Excluded-disconnected?

Cappy

Cappy

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Summer is upon us. Graduations, weddings and parties galore! I gladly accept going to family oriented parties. But, what if its a non-family all hearing engagement? Do, you use your deafness as an excuse to avoid attending? To avoid being a Wallflower? Ignored? Disconnected? Excluded?

Last weekend, my wifes coworker invited us to her son's graduation party. I declined. Wife understandably went w/o me. I did not wanna stand around w/ my thumbs up my ass.

Today, wife has a major business trip. All expenses paid. Spouses welcome. Free room, meals n drinks, even live bands. I did not go.

I declined both because, I hate standing around like a wallflower, feeling excluded and disconnected. I am too old to waste my time this crap.

Do you use your deafness as an excuse to escape, non deaf, non family, all hearing engagements?
 
Man, you should go on the business trip. You could just go out and do your own thing while she does stuff with her co-workers. :)

Yes, sometimes I do.

My high school is having it's 50th graduation in a couple of weeks. They have invited alumni to come and we would sit in a VIP section. If we wanted, we could also process in with the faculty. I was debating going because none of my close high school friends wanted to go and I didn't know if I would know anyone. I asked another HS friend if she was going and she said she wanted to but could not do the long walk through the building and parking lot. I offered to give her a ride and I'd drop her off and pick her up. She accepted so now I'll be going. I hope to be able to hear most of the speeches, etc. I did request an assistive listening device but told them not to go to great lengths/expense to provide it. I can't remember who provided it when my daughter graduated from the same venue (the local college's basketball building).
 
LoveBlue said:
Man, you should go on the business trip. You could just go out and do your own thing while she does stuff with her co-workers
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I been doing my own thing way too long to care anymore. It sure feels good, when she comes up for air and says "hi" to me. Then fades away. Sometimes, I feel its best to stay away and not be the monkey on her back.
 
I think you should have gone and enjoyed the food and drinks. As for me , I don't go to anything non deaf, non family.

It would be pointless for me or my husband.
 
The only things I get invited to are Uni functions and normally they're boring or consist of people getting drunk off their butt way too early in the day.

So, I avoid them like the plague. Typically I blame it on my deafness, other times I just say that it's not my scene.
 
Hmm depends on who it is. Family well.. gotta do that :P. Very few hearing friends I would hang with. One understands my wanting to disappear sometimes when I come to visit lol.

Otherwise... I tend to many times decline going to work related events (client or contractor) unless it is a mandatory outing (bleh). Usually the reason is my deafness and/or my introvertness-non desire to be around people.

Business trip I'd do- can just hang out in the room and do my own thing lol (that's in the scenario if I had a partner/loved one).
 
I go to things but use my hoh ness as a reason to not talk with anyone. I like to watch tons from afar,I am a professional people watcher, hehe
 
Failed to mention that it was a 4 day thing. I'm glad I did not attend. Except for this: their entertainment last night was a well known Eagles tribute band. Oh, well.
 
Cappy said:
Summer is upon us. Graduations, weddings and parties galore! I gladly accept going to family oriented parties. But, what if its a non-family all hearing engagement? Do, you use your deafness as an excuse to avoid attending? To avoid being a Wallflower? Ignored? Disconnected? Excluded?

Last weekend, my wifes coworker invited us to her son's graduation party. I declined. Wife understandably went w/o me. I did not wanna stand around w/ my thumbs up my ass.

Today, wife has a major business trip. All expenses paid. Spouses welcome. Free room, meals n drinks, even live bands. I did not go.

I declined both because, I hate standing around like a wallflower, feeling excluded and disconnected. I am too old to waste my time this crap.

Do you use your deafness as an excuse to escape, non deaf, non family, all hearing engagements?
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So with you on that. I do not like going to hearing events, especially non-family. I feel like like I stick out like a sore thumb when I'm the only one not really conversing in a room full of hearies.

(Like you, I don't want to stand around with my thumbs up my ass, either. LOL I had to laugh at that phrase.)

Lastly, I don't use my deafness as an excuse - I don't think you do either - but it can be a necessary means of not including yourself at an event that you know you would be uncomfortable at.
 
DeafNerdMommy said:
I go to things but use my hoh ness as a reason to not talk with anyone. I like to watch tons from afar,I am a professional people watcher, hehe
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I had to learn to watch people body language b/c I couldn't hear what they were saying before I got my hearing aid. So I watch people a lot too.
 
yeah, I do not go some places if I know I'll end up sitting bored out of my mind because I can not participate in conversations.
and why should I?
no one is going to benefit from me just being there. me the least. so I say no firmly and stay home, doing what I like to do.
which is nothing :giggle:
(unless, of course I have other plans .. )

Fuzzy
 
I do better in small groups , I hate not being able to be participate in conversations b/c I can't hear what being said. People will speak up for short time then go back
to talking softer .
 
Well depends on what kind of event really. If a close (very close) hearing friend invites me to a wedding then yes I'll go even though I know I will PROBABLY be bored silly at the reception. That actually happened at the wedding I was a groomsman in though-- for somebody I only "kinda know" (met through a group)- didn't help I was being tortured by very severe allergies/dry eyes that year- horrid. In retrospect probably should have said no to that one (and the one in Oklahoma- which ironically was a deaf wedding...different reasons though).
 
Yeah, I say no to a lot of activities if I know I will just be bored and not able to follow the conversation. For work events, I usually would not attend unless it was at a place that has awesome food. At those I usually left early, I had a great meal and now I'm done.
 
i would of went. 4 day vecation why not?
let the hearies flap their beaks like parots.
dont matter
id enjoy my time doin what ever i wanted where ever i wanted. as they chatted or did what ever they do
 
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