deafness as a turn on

jenniifer said:
In my extensive research on the human sexual experience I have read that a fetish is physical arousal from a NON LIVING object. People can have normal sex lives outside of their fetish-related activities, but many do feel compelled to frequently act on their needs where the fetish is concerned

Being into someone just because they are deaf...or black or white or thin or fat or pregnant or tattooed or whatever is just a matter of personal preference, and can be for many different reasons, both physical and psychological. It is only when your preference, or fetish, or whatever, starts to cause problems in your daily life that it becomes a dysfunction. Myself, I believe in chemistry, and not just physical chemistry. Hearing or not hearing wouldn't make any difference to me...the fact that communication could go slower could be both a problem and a benefit.
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Now that is interesting, could you elaborate more if you don't mind?
 
jenniifer said:
In my extensive research on the human sexual experience I have read that a fetish is physical arousal from a NON LIVING object. People can have normal sex lives outside of their fetish-related activities, but many do feel compelled to frequently act on their needs where the fetish is concerned

Being into someone just because they are deaf...or black or white or thin or fat or pregnant or tattooed or whatever is just a matter of personal preference, and can be for many different reasons, both physical and psychological. It is only when your preference, or fetish, or whatever, starts to cause problems in your daily life that it becomes a dysfunction. Myself, I believe in chemistry, and not just physical chemistry. Hearing or not hearing wouldn't make any difference to me...the fact that communication could go slower could be both a problem and a benefit.
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Well, for myself, I don't particularly like to be, how do you say, lumped? into being some kind of *preference*. It makes me sick honestly.:roll:
 
rebeccalj said:
Well, for myself, I don't particularly like to be, how do you say, lumped? into being some kind of *preference*. It makes me sick honestly.:roll:
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Sorry, no intention to lump anyone. All I meant is that there are people out there who look for certain types of people for relationships. I used to just go for a certain type myself, and there was no straying from it...for example, I like tall, big men..still do, though I am not so picky now based on that ONE trait. Mostly I am open to all kinds of men now, but like it or not, some people DO have definite preferences. For example, some men ONLY like blondes, or only date "big" girls....some men like short girls, or some men like a nice "wrack" and will ONLY date women with one. Is it insulting? Yes, me and my nice "wrack" can attest to that. Maybe some women don't care, but I wouldn't want someone who was only into me for such a shallow reason.

My point is, it is normal to be attracted to certain traits, that if a guy ONLY wanted you because of that trait, whatever it may be, then he probably has a problem of some sort that will come to light eventually.

Ember, my comment about slower communication was sort of offhand...but what I meant is that as a positive, it could make the getting to know one another process much less rushed, and that could be good. Probably not good if you are an impatient person who wants everything to happen really fast. Also, communication is probably one of the biggest problems in relationships. Meanings and nuances can be misunderstood or even completely lost when two people are not on the same page. If you are communicating by writing, or one or the other is learning sign language, it is going to take longer than unsual. Maybe better that way, as you are really going to have to make more of an effort to understand the other person.
 
I once when to a Halloween party with a girlfriend, I was dress as a gangster! I wore my one of my dad's old suit from the 50's and had a toy machine gun! My friend told me that some guys were taking me being sexy! One guy was dress like mummy ,his whole body was wrapped up so I could not read his lips! LOL The guy was really turned on by speech! My friend had to tell the guy that I could not understand him as I was HOH, he did not believes us , he thought I had an accent! LOL!!

Another time I was out with my dog at the woods and I was talking to a woman and she told me the my speech was "Sexy, and sound like I had French accent!" I was like WTF!! I did not talk to the woman too long, I was not sure if she was hitting on me!
 
Jennifer, I agree with you. I wasn't directing my post to you but to the idea of being a preference instead of being recognized as a Deaf person. :hug:
 
I would never pick a partner soley because they were deaf, hearing, black, white, blonde, tall, short, fat, thin... I base my prefference for partners on the individual. I did not date my deaf ex BECAUSE she was deaf. Her being deaf was part of how we met (I was looking for sign classes and she worked at the deaf center) but I did not go there seeking out a deaf girlfriend. I would never go pick up a deaf girl just because she is deaf if I was not attracted to her and interested in her personality, etc.

With all that being said, is it WRONG for me to be turned on by a deaf girls voice or when I see her sign? Both of those things were true for me about my ex. But I have plenty of deaf friends that im NOT attracted to or turned on by and plenty of hearing friends that I AM.
 
I lost about 85% of my hearing when I was 13 and it took about a year and a half before I got it back to "normal" level. During that time I started taking asl classes where I started dating this girl who was deaf. After I started making progress with my hearing returning she wanted less and less to do with me. Some people just like to be with what they associate with. She was with me because I couldn't hear, but I didn't date her because she was deaf, I dated her because she was HOT! I don't think that's a "fetish", unless wanting a hot gf/bf is a fetish. If that's the case then I think we ALL have fetishes; never met anyone who said "hmm...I wish I could find an ugly guy..." :D
 
I did not tell my future husband online that I was deaf until we got to know each other as people for four months! Then when he told me he was in love with me I thought "yikes! I better tell him that he gotta find someone else who can appreciate his love for rock music even though I talked about it with him."
To make this long story short he was not fazed by the fact, and he said he still loved me. So we were *dating* online for two years before we met face to face. He is from England, and I am an American. Then one year later we got married.
He, once in a while, forgets that I can not hear, but that doesn't happen often though. We have been happily married for five years now. ;-) Two of the best things he does for me is to treat me equally and love me unconditionally.
 
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Tamisa said:
I did not tell my future husband online that I was deaf until we got to know each other as people for four months! Then when he told me he was in love with me I thought "yikes! I better tell him that he gotta find someone else who can appreciate his love for rock music even though I talked about it with him."
To make this long story short he was not fazed by the fact, and he said he still loved me. So we were *dating* online for two years before we met face to face. He is from England, and I am an American. Then one year later we got married.
He, once in a while, forgets that I can not hear, but that doesn't happen often though. We have been happily married for five years now. ;-) Two of the best things he does for me is to treat me equally and love me unconditionally.
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Wow you guys overcame not only an internet relationship but being across an ocean from each other as well thats an awesome story thanks for sharing!
 
ember said:
Wow you guys overcame not only an internet relationship but being across an ocean from each other as well thats an awesome story thanks for sharing!
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I agree! That's really great. Sounds like you both found a wonderful person in your partner.

Where do you live now, Tamisa?
 
warpedpink said:
Also, I think very few hearing people have genuine deaf fetishes. It's much more likely that...
A) they believe deaf people are easy to seduce
B) it's a cool story to tell their friends. "last night I did so and so with a DEAF guy/girl! Didnt see that coming!"
Or C) *They think sign language is beautiful. I've met a lot of ASL students, CODAs, and the like who developed an attraction for Deaf people, but I'd hardly label that a fetish.*
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I definitely think guys believe having sex with a deaf girl will be easy because she will be easy. Because of how many people treat deaf people. I am hearing but its kind of like for me, being a big girl guys think I am easy and try to pursue me like I should be grateful. pff.. And I have heard guys who are learning ASL for just because its a foreign language saying they ARE going to hook up with a deaf girl. Like they know.... say what! -_- annoying the way people think sometimes.:roll:
 
ArdianaPaulina said:
I definitely think guys believe having sex with a deaf girl will be easy because she will be easy. Because of how many people treat deaf people. I am hearing but its kind of like for me, being a big girl guys think I am easy and try to pursue me like I should be grateful. pff.. And I have heard guys who are learning ASL for just because its a foreign language saying they ARE going to hook up with a deaf girl. Like they know.... say what! -_- annoying the way people think sometimes.:roll:
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Have these people who "think a deaf girl will be easy" actually MET, a deaf girl? PFFFFFFFT, deafies are the furthest from easy..... Hard headed, stubborn, complicated creatures we are! However, I am deaf, and I can say I much prefer to date another deaf person.... Not sure if I'd say it was a "turn on" but it's a strong preference. *shrug*
 
As someone who went from perfect hearing to being totally deaf, I have to say this creeps me out. I am all for guys who find me attractive despite my deafness (though to be honest, it's hard to find guys who can see past it!). But for someone to find me attractive soley because I'm deaf? Repulsive... I'd have a hard time respecting someone who finds something that's caused me so main pain and has made my life so much harder than it was before to be attractive. Just my take on it!

-Lauren
 
glickchick said:
As someone who went from perfect hearing to being totally deaf, I have to say this creeps me out. I am all for guys who find me attractive despite my deafness (though to be honest, it's hard to find guys who can see past it!). But for someone to find me attractive soley because I'm deaf? Repulsive... I'd have a hard time respecting someone who finds something that's caused me so main pain and has made my life so much harder than it was before to be attractive. Just my take on it!

-Lauren
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Yeah , I guess it would made you wonder if the guy felt sorry for you being deaf , that is how I would take it. When I was younger I was friend's party and some guy was hitting on me and I had no idea he was whispering to me . When the guy found I was HOH he lost interest in me. That guy was not worth my time of day.
 
glickchick said:
As someone who went from perfect hearing to being totally deaf, I have to say this creeps me out. I am all for guys who find me attractive despite my deafness (though to be honest, it's hard to find guys who can see past it!). But for someone to find me attractive soley because I'm deaf? Repulsive... I'd have a hard time respecting someone who finds something that's caused me so main pain and has made my life so much harder than it was before to be attractive. Just my take on it!

-Lauren
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Well you are very attractive, and if some douche can't see past you being deaf you can keep on walkin'! You don't need that kind of douchery in your life anyway! :D He was probably a moocher or something anyway. :D
 
There are hearing people that want "perks" that deaf people can offer. You know, date a deaf person; get to sit in preferred seating spots to see ASL interpreter at events. One place I know have theatre tickets for like $50-70 per person. As a deaf person, I can get a ticket to ASL interpreted or CC play for $20. I can imagine that a lot of people would love to take advantage of that. I'm sure this has happened to some of you.

They may use you for preferred seatings and not bother with "deaf" incurred costs such as hearing devices and having to deal with VP craps.
 
dereksbicycles said:
There are hearing people that want "perks" that deaf people can offer. You know, date a deaf person; get to sit in preferred seating spots to see ASL interpreter at events. One place I know have theatre tickets for like $50-70 per person. As a deaf person, I can get a ticket to ASL interpreted or CC play for $20. I can imagine that a lot of people would love to take advantage of that. I'm sure this has happened to some of you.

They may use you for preferred seatings and not bother with "deaf" incurred costs such as hearing devices and having to deal with VP craps.
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If a person is able to hear why would they need to have an ASL interpreter ?
 
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