Deafness and Depression

You're not alone, Jaxim. I also have chronic major depression. Depression runs on both sides of my family and I had it the worst. I'm sure there are many factors that contributed to my depression, including deafness - even though deafness was not the reason. It's basically a clinical depression. I've had years of therapy. I don't have a therapist at this time as I cannot afford $20 co-pay every week or even every other week. I do see a psychiatrist for medication management. :hug:
 
I've been HOH pretty much my whole life. I've never been clinically diagnosed with actual depression, but somewhere in my teens (around 17 yrs old), I was really depressed for about a year- not sure it was HOH related or just because i hated the people I was around 5 days a week. However, I did develop anxiety when I was in 5th grade, mainly because it was the first time I was scolded as a person, in public and thereafter, I became anxious about expressing myself thinking I'd be ridiculed again- again, doesn't seem HOH related.

Today, I wouldn't say I'm depressed at all. Maybe a slightly anxious person, as much as the next person, because I worry too much about things that never turn out as bad as I imagine they could. Frankly, it seems, the more time you have to sit alone with your thoughts, thinking about something, the more anxious you become. Learn to distract the thoughts, and be more "on the flow" with life, and you learn to forget about it.

Like you though, I can related in that I also, feel alone, always, even though, I "know" I'm not, just because there's thousands of other HOH and deaf people out there. The point is, they are not in MY life though- I have no deaf or HOH friends, and I grew up in a hearing environment my entire life, and it's probably, not going to change at all. It doesn't make me lonely too much though, as I like being alone most of the time. The closest thing that breaks my heart though making me feel utterly alone, is when someone like, my husband, can't and probably never will, truly understand what I'm going through as a HOH person.
 
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I have depression w/ hypomania (Its kinda like Bipolar)............. both not related to my hearing impairments.

-charles
 
Wirelessly posted

I used to feel depressing and so shame for my own deafness during my childhood and early teenhood.

Now, it's not anymore. I'm really happy for who I am. :)
 
The toughest thing with me is trying to find a therapist that I can lip-read! Hehe. A lot of them yak too fast for me and I miss out a lot on what they're saying. So, I took matters into my own hands by reading a ton of self-help books. It may not be the same as having a therapist, but I had no other way to help myself.

I'm happy with what I have, since I discovered cognitive-behavioral therapy self-help books and also new age/mysticism books. They helped tremendously in many ways. Unfortunately, my depression was clinical in nature, no matter how much I tried to "fix" myself.

I practically reconstructed myself. Even though there are things that remained the same, I'm a completely different person than I was before I started experiencing depression. My personality had been totally altered. Not all of my personality changes are of my doing. It just happened through my depression.

Without intending to become this way, I'm an odd invidual. Go figure. LOL. :D
 
aye sadly I am! I have these bolded part of depression

* you can’t sleep or you sleep too much
* you can’t concentrate or find that previously easy tasks are now difficult
* you feel hopeless and helpless
* you can’t control your negative thoughts, no matter how much you try
* you have lost your appetite or you can’t stop eating
* you are much more irritable and short-tempered than usual
* you have thoughts that life is not worth living (Seek help immediately if this is the case)

for sleep, I can't sleep more than 4 hours of sleep...
hopeless and helpless is pretty much describe how I feel...
neagtive thought... I always listen to sad music and think of those negative things that brings me down, my dog died, my grandfather died when I was 5 year old...
lost my appitite... when I was little I was a bit overweight, now ever since I'm very thin, so thin I can feel my rib cage when I suck in my guts...
when I was little I was friendly and befriend literally everything and everyone... now I scream at them if they get to close, this causes me to have lesser friends (I currently have 2 best friends... 10 just friends...)
sometimes I think of jumping off the building or something like that, then I start thinking of the funeral and it made me want to live some more...

let me explain what happens, I was little and stupid (I'm 14 years old but way to smart than my age... some people who haven't know I'm 14 years old told me that I talked like more than 17 year old...) I enrolled into the Laurent Clerc school this one student that gets DEEP into my nerves and control them, one day still haunt me even today... I was just walking past him, about 10 feet away, he feel backwards and cried and said I push him... the teacher made me sit outside... then when it time to go back in, the teacher forced me to stay outside, but I sneaked in with the help of one friendly student. and when it was closed down, I was forced to move to another school, and that student made me scared of the other school, it made me so scared when I was greeted by my classmates I cried all day... (I was in 2nd grade) so this student triggered my depression, and stress from schoolwork, loss of friends, screaming and insulting strange people to get them away from me triggered this to be more intense...

so I don't blame myself, I blamed that student...
 
Jaxim72 said:
Okay, I didnt bother looking through the forums on any related topics about Deafness and depression, so I just went and posted this. I know some people like to use the forums to just come and chit chat, and have fun and share jokes and what not... get away from that real life stuff. But I need to vent a little bit, and ask a serious question :

How many of you, Deaf as well as Hard of Hearing, have had, or currently have, depression, anxiety, and other issues related to depression? I am asking because... as Ive mentioned before, I just recently am getting involved more with the Deaf Community; I live in Maine, it doesnt seem like there's many people like me in Maine. It felt like I was basically alone, and logically speaking, im not! But it feels like it. A few things opened my eyes up, however, and Im now taking ASL classes, and im learning a lot more than just ASL. Ive had depression for quite some time, and Im starting to see that its not just me.

To cut the story short, im going to ask... how many of you have had depression and other issues that you feel is related to your lack of hearing and if you did, what did you do to help yourself? Or how do you cope with it??

Maybe this might help me, maybe it wont, but its not for the lack of trying :)
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Hmm, yeah I was told once by a Deaf girl from Northern Maine that there is roughly 400 deafies live in the entire state of Maine. It's hard for me to believe that. So yeah I've met a few of them in person.
 
I have never been depressed from the birth to 14 due to deafness. Well, I was growing up mainstreamed and 75% of my time spent in the hearing world when I entered in the fourth grade until Senior year at the high school. As I entered 6th grade, things had gotten worse due to being bullied, been taunted a lot, sometime beaten up by hearing kids because I was different (can't hear, talk unclearly and funny voice.) It didn't end until I graduated from High school (I was the only deaf student of the class graduation.) I was such a fighter. They couldn't put me down...and bad karmas came to some of them years after high school. So I ain't complaining ever since. ;)
 
Speaking of bad karma, I've been haunted by the curse that befell my dad's side of the family. I felt so much guilt over the years because it all started when I broke the code of silence on something that happened to me when I was a very young child. It was as if I sent a curse to the family, even though I didn't speak bad of them at all. Truth can be very painful, some people just can't deal with it and it caused an estrangement between myself and the family. I have horrible nightmares of seeing them suffer under this curse. Of course, I do not believe in curses. Yeah, I am an open-minded person. I do believe that there is a cause and effect. In other words, what goes around comes back around - karma. I have paid my karmic debts. Karma is so painful sometimes.

Ugh, that's depressing.... I'm happy that I have family on my mom's side and my husband's family. There are many things to be grateful for. I am grateful for so many things in my life. Gratitude can be good against depression. It's a powerful tool. It could have been worse, really, if you think about it. I don't take life for granted because you never know what you will miss unless it is taken away from you.
 
I am hearing but my friend Omar just shared his life story with me and let me put it on my blog. Part of his story includes the pain he experienced when he lost his hearing. He was depressed at a very young age because he didnt know sign and couldnt communicate with anyone. He shared with me how faith changed his perspective about being Deaf from a disability to God's plan for his life. visit my blog to read the whole story.
 
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