deafer than thou

suicidegirl

suicidegirl

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has anyone ever had to deal with deafies who feel like they're "deafer than you"?

I remember when I first transferred to mssd and the first thing my classmate asked me was "are your parents deaf?" and that left a bad taste in my mouth, even though I come from a deaf family. it was like, he was trying to judge me by how "deaf" I was.

I've noticed that deaf kids from deaf parents tend to be the popular ones at their deaf schools. it's like, their deaf families give them an automatic pass to popularity. the dynamics remain the same at gallaudet... they go on to join prestigious fraternities/sororities, because of their status.

also, I've noticed that deafies that aren't deemed deaf enough are basically shunned. it's not their fault that they don't come from a strong deaf background or if they don't sign well.

any thoughts? have you noticed the same thing, or is it just me?
 
suicidegirl said:
has anyone ever had to deal with deafies who feel like they're "deafer than you"?

I remember when I first transferred to mssd and the first thing my classmate asked me was "are your parents deaf?" and that left a bad taste in my mouth, even though I come from a deaf family. it was like, he was trying to judge me by how "deaf" I was.

I've noticed that deaf kids from deaf parents tend to be the popular ones at their deaf schools. it's like, their deaf families give them an automatic pass to popularity. the dynamics remain the same at gallaudet... they go on to join prestigious fraternities/sororities, because of their status.

also, I've noticed that deafies that aren't deemed deaf enough are basically shunned. it's not their fault that they don't come from a strong deaf background or if they don't sign well.

any thoughts? have you noticed the same thing, or is it just me?
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I've noticed.
 
I don't know enough to discuss the pros and cons of deaf schools vs. mainstream schools. However, I have seen this attitude in schools where there is a large (and largely separate) deaf student population, but not at all (yet) in mainstream schools where anyone who considers himself part of the deaf community is accepted as such. That's my experience only.
 
I've noticed that, especially in Gallaudet. It is more of "Pride thing", being able to communicate in certain generations of families, providing support for each other and being able to "fully understand" what it's like to be deaf. Sharing mutually with each other, providing the base of source to each other and being able to support deaf culture "more better" than what others can do. For example, deaf with hearing parents might have "limited" information of what they know of deaf population, thus failing to provide their deaf children an exposure to them, thusly not fully "purifying" their deaf child into the deaf population. It is just a hogwash of C R A P, a piece of pride thing, to be honest with you.
 
Seen it several times... People the world over are always looking for a pedestal to stand on and "lord" it over somebody. Hate that to no end especially deaf to deaf regardless of degree of deafness. I gotten it from the truly deaf saying you're hearing and the other way from the hearing (not often but sometimes) you're deaf. Well, what was I supposed to do??? I have long since cease caring about it anymore.
 
OMG, yes. Totally a turn-off. How could you maintain Deaf friends if 98% of Deaf kids got hearing parents?!?

However there are very FEW exceptions of Deafies who don't use their Deafness gene to look down on those who are Deaf by chance (illness during pregnancy or as a newborn, accident, and many more). They are the smart cookies.

But you know, even those who go to Deaf schools do look down at mainstreamed Deaf kids-- even though some of those Deaf school students use PSE (and mainstreamed kids use ASL)! Ususally Deaf people feel the needs to feel validated as Deaf people so they are putting more value in having a Deaf family, attending a Deaf school, and a bonus-- graduating from Gally! But they should put more value in the quanity of a person's sense of Deaf identity, regardless their background!


Because the Deaf community is smaller so everybody notices the sharp contrast between certain cliques.
 
I've actually seen deaf people use their deafness as an excuse for doing annoying things. There will be a couple of deaf people popping their mouths and signing in ways that their hands are smacking each other loudly... in a quiet computer lab. I can hear it loud and clear, so I remind them that they're being "loud". They turn to me and say, "Hey, we're deaf! Duh!" Then I say to them that I'm deaf too. Then they say, "We're deafer than you, so shut up!" :roll:
 
Oh yeah it had happened to me before and I don't understand what makes them even more special than us?..

It's a big turn off for me, I hate it when they asked these questions
 
Hell yes

Upon an introduction, they always ask if I have a deaf family or know their friends or went to certain deaf schools. I say No, No and No and they walk away.

I have always felt this attitude but who cares - if they feel powerful over thinking that they are "deafer" than me, so be it. There are much more important things to deal with.
 
Yes and that attidute sucks.

Part of the reason I left Gally after 2 months. It was a joke.
 
makes me wonder that it is so similar to *insert your choice of word* profiling eh?
 
Yep, I noticed too. If I never went to any deaf schools nor have any deaf parents, I'm not part of their group as I was told. I'm thinking to myself, What group would that be?
 
suicidegirl said:
I remember when I first transferred to mssd and the first thing my classmate asked me was "are your parents deaf?" and that left a bad taste in my mouth, even though I come from a deaf family. it was like, he was trying to judge me by how "deaf" I was.
Click to expand...
Thank you for bringing up a sensitive subject, and a sore one at that. Due to my ASL skillz, I was asked if I had Deaf parents, all the time. Especially by Deaf women trying to 'size me up'. I would always politely answer no, and immediately knew that my prospects for dating this particular woman just went down the toilet.

Yes, it has been highly frustrating and hugely disappointing. I have lost many chances at a decent relationship over this seemingly insurmountable divide. Still, I bear no grudges or harbor resentments. After all, they are missing out on a good thing! ;)

However, more disconcerting and personally disappointing was that I, too, on occasion, have succumbed to sizing up others, based on their ASL skills. Hence, this is a sore subject for me, but frankly, I'd rather discuss it out on the open-- I can have a better handle on this issue and strive to be a better Deaf person, learning from mistakes in my past.
 
I went to mainstreamed schools growing up and learned to sign at 13 years old. I pop my mouth when I sign with no voice so ppl assumed that I could hear some. I can not hear at all. Deaf ppl always ask me if I went to school for the deaf. When I said no, some of them would lose interest right away. It was hard on me when I was younger, but I don't care anymore. What I usually do is engage them into an entirely different conversation, not related to my not going to school for the deaf. It really doesn't matter to me whether they went to oral school for the deaf, mainstreamed or state school for the deaf. Everyone is different...why do we HAVE to be from school for the deaf? So that I would "belong"? Doesn't make sense to me. I'm deafer than most deaf people are...but doesn't matter to me. smile
 
Peachy Lady said:
Deaf ppl always ask me if I went to school for the deaf. When I said no, some of them would lose interest right away
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I've been there also, I don't see why it is so important to be asked, If I went to any deaf schools or have any deaf parents? When you answered that question, You'll get a silence treatment from them if the answer is no. Does it make us bad people because we are were not raise like them? I wondered.
 
suicidegirl said:
has anyone ever had to deal with deafies who feel like they're "deafer than you"?

I remember when I first transferred to mssd and the first thing my classmate asked me was "are your parents deaf?" and that left a bad taste in my mouth, even though I come from a deaf family. it was like, he was trying to judge me by how "deaf" I was.

I've noticed that deaf kids from deaf parents tend to be the popular ones at their deaf schools. it's like, their deaf families give them an automatic pass to popularity. the dynamics remain the same at gallaudet... they go on to join prestigious fraternities/sororities, because of their status.

also, I've noticed that deafies that aren't deemed deaf enough are basically shunned. it's not their fault that they don't come from a strong deaf background or if they don't sign well.

any thoughts? have you noticed the same thing, or is it just me?
Click to expand...


Oh yeah.. I agree with you... I attended to the VSDB when I was 5 yrs old... older kids asking me if my parents were deaf..I said Yes... then other kids were warned that any kid from deaf parents are smarter... I was puzzled.. it was no big deal if my parents were deaf... My father went to same school in which i attended... they knew my father very well... they made it like it is big deal...

Thanks!!
SxyPorkie
 
Fragmenter said:
Yes and that attidute sucks.

Part of the reason I left Gally after 2 months. It was a joke.
Click to expand...

Yeah... I agree with you... I came from the deaf family, too

SxyPorkie
 
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