Yeah - that's a big problem I have with my hearing children! It's hard to get them across the concept that they are 2 different languages (English and ASL) and that they work differently. And I can kind of understand why it's hard for them because it's hard for me, too, to be speaking English out loud to my hearing children and try to translate mentally and turn it into ASL at the same time. Some times my kids definitely have to be patient while my brain reboots for a second, it can be tricky, but it's so worth it for them all to be learning and growing and learning to communicate with each other as siblings. Technically, step- siblings but eh why create a divide you know, they've been learning since they were 5 and 3 and although they're decent they still definitely need to practice more so I've recently started doing where I won't answer them unless they sign their question/request to me and this has helped a lot.
I noticed early on that there was sort of an attitude from different members of my family about how will Lizzie function in the real world and what would her life be like and I started to wonder myself. I decided there was no reason she had to move to any community unless she liked it, that her being deaf did not mean she could not function in society and I would show her how. She was about 3 when I decided that and started spending time out and about in public (*crossing my fingers hoping no one gets offended at this*) pretending to be deaf. The first time I did it she looked at me so surprised. She was used to seeing me talk to people, and the first time I went into an establishment and kept my mouth shut and used sign language she was very curious. Of course, the cashiers usually immediatly freak out and wrack their brain trying to think of a way to communicate. I smile, this helps calm most people down, and point very carefully to what I want, or find obvious gestures to get across what I want. At times of cashiers absolutely not understanding me I have written down a word on a receipt, but I always make it work without opening my mouth once. Most people seem thrilled for the experience of trying to work with a deaf family, and some do seem frustrated but I get that from people when I talk to them too so I try not to take offense to it because some people are just rude and easily frustrated, life's too short to be angry at them. At any rate, I'm hoping through these actions I will show my daughter she can thrive and do whatever she wants, with perseverance and a desire to communicate with people she comes across. I've been glad that most people have been very willing to try to meet us half way and find a common path to communication, even if they know nothing of sign language. I know it's a long shot, but part of me hopes these people walk away from the experience changed and more open minded about working with deaf families, and maybe...just maybe, I'm making the world around us a bit more tolerant of my daughter, because she's great and she's so much more than just a "deaf kid".
I'm not meaning to imply anyone here has been hostile or had animosity, I hope that didn't come across wrong. It just seems to be a running theme that lots of deaf individuals harbor hurt or angry feelings towards hearing individuals, be it specific people or in general. And all of them, totally valid in their feelings from what I can tell - another reason I'm hoping to change more hearing people, I'm ashamed to be in this category when the cultures collide. I was just kind of wondering if it's culturally deep or if it's just like "eh..some people are just like that". o_O Really not intending to offend anyone here, I'm just trying to get a deeper understanding of things with all of you who are willing to share your thoughts and experiences with me. It means a lot and I really appreciate it!
