Deaf play-groups?

ContessaC

ContessaC

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I am interested in getting my 5 year old son immersed fully within the deaf community. I live in Jacksonville, FL - I want my son to have friends who understand him. I'm a little concerned about Conner feeling alone.

I've tried to set up play dates with other parents at Conner's school...but I kinda get the feeling like they are avoiding me. As a hearing person, I realize that I can't fully follow Conner into the deaf community but...I feel like I'm not welcomed, and in turn neither is my son.

Am I going nuts? I know that I can't fully communicate with deaf parents, but there is so much that can be done via text and other forms of communication...Am i being small minded here? Or not taking into account another point of view?
 
dont take it personel many deaf dont use as many words as hearing we tend be blunt to the point and you going have be blunt aswel,say it out right that you feeling this way dont be embrassed..i live in hearing world and deaf now so i got good idea how you feel...i not american i use bsl but people same
 
Are there any hearing of dhh kindergarteners in your son's kindergarten? Seems weird that there would be mostly deaf of deaf.......
 
ContessaC said:
I am interested in getting my 5 year old son immersed fully within the deaf community. I live in Jacksonville, FL - I want my son to have friends who understand him. I'm a little concerned about Conner feeling alone.

I've tried to set up play dates with other parents at Conner's school...but I kinda get the feeling like they are avoiding me. As a hearing person, I realize that I can't fully follow Conner into the deaf community but...I feel like I'm not welcomed, and in turn neither is my son.

Am I going nuts? I know that I can't fully communicate with deaf parents, but there is so much that can be done via text and other forms of communication...Am i being small minded here? Or not taking into account another point of view?
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My parents went through the same. I'm deaf, but my entire family is hearing. I just happened to be mutated because my mom did cocaine while pregnant with me. (I finally found out the truth a month ago regarding how I became deaf, 28 years later, was a very emotional moment for me). Some parents aren't prepared to fully immerse their children into the deaf culture, but props to you. What you're doing is way better than what most of the hearing parents with deaf children are doing. I admire you. Deaf children really do need to be among their peers. It doesn't matter if they need to learn ASL or to be oral, what matters the most is that they aren't alone. I was actually raised to be oral and went to Clarke, but i ended up being shunned anyway because I actually wanted to learn ASL. I've found that knowing ASL is actually the best way to communicate, less effort on me, less effort upon my brain!

What i hate the most about this entire thing is that some doctors stress that Cochlear Implant and being oral is the best choice is for you. I feel that knowing at least SEE/ASL is the best option because people who go deaf at around birth or young age visually depend on learning the language. It helps you to be both oral/visual. It does help you get the best of both worlds. I don't like deaf people who proudly denounce having a CI, I prefer someone who is flexible and understanding. Someone who can share both worlds. You know, being deaf isn't a curse, nor is it a perfection. It depends on the person itself if they want to be cured or not so please don't push whoever it is' beliefs. You are who you are.
 
Conner went to Clarke for 1 1/2 before they asked him to leave. He wasn't their poster child, despite having his CI put in INCORRECTLY the first time. It was very emotional. Originally we (my husband and I) wanted him to learn ASL and English - both of us speak 2 languages and were happy that Conner could do the same - we were talked out of it. So now at 5 years old, he is FINALLY getting connections to vocabulary.
 
ContessaC said:
Conner went to Clarke for 1 1/2 before they asked him to leave. He wasn't their poster child, despite having his CI put in INCORRECTLY the first time. It was very emotional. Originally we (my husband and I) wanted him to learn ASL and English - both of us speak 2 languages and were happy that Conner could do the same - we were talked out of it. So now at 5 years old, he is FINALLY getting connections to vocabulary.
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I cannot believe you got talked out of that?!?!?! That is SO fucking .............arughhhh............Oral speech is a good tool to have, but it shouln't come at the expense of real language/ communication! I also LOVE (sarcasm) how they act like oral only is going to take care of everything. Even kids who develop oral skills, still may need ASL as things get more advanced. But at least now he's learning ASL......Can't believe it took so long.........arghhhhhh....He went to Clarke Jacksonville right?
 
lanapoo,which Clarke did you attend? The Noho School or the Early Intervention schools? If you attended the EI school, you're the second one I know who attended one, and while they can hear and talk, still found that it wasn't quite enough. I wish so badly Clarke Early Intervention would steer its grads to dhh schools/programs.
 
deafdyke said:
I cannot believe you got talked out of that?!?!?! That is SO fucking .............arughhhh............Oral speech is a good tool to have, but it shouln't come at the expense of real language/ communication! I also LOVE (sarcasm) how they act like oral only is going to take care of everything. Even kids who develop oral skills, still may need ASL as things get more advanced. But at least now he's learning ASL......Can't believe it took so long.........arghhhhhh....He went to Clarke Jacksonville right?
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Yes he went to Clarke on Old St. Augustine Rd.

I'm sorry they made me feel so stupid there! I felt guilty...still do about not being able to do MORE for my child. They wanted me to leave work during the day to come and sit in on my son's speech therapy. I tried to make it to therapy 2x a week but working for a corporate office and making speech was almost impossible all the time!!! They would send home "nasty-grams" or like semi-threatening letters. At times when I did go to the school and observe I felt like Conner was being ignored or being treated like he was stupid b/c he wasn't understanding the speech being thrown at him! I would cry...every SINGLE day! They said I wasn't dedicated enough to Conner's audio/verbal education...despite me moving 300+ miles, away from ALL family and friend to Jacksonville (where I know...NO ONE!) for Conner to attend the school!!!

At the meeting where they decided that an audio/verbal education for Conner wasn't being met at Clarke...I cried, and cried...begging them for help. They DID, however get me in touch with FSDB and arrange a tour of the school. I cried the whole tour as well. Being indoctrinated at Clarke that ASL was "2nd best/rate" I dispaired at my son ever having a happy and meaningful life...I mean, in truth I don't know ANY deaf or HoH people. I don't know what to expect. But everyone at Florida School for the Deaf and Blind treat my boy like he's a ROCKSTAR and he LOVES going to school.
 
ContessaC said:
Yes he went to Clarke on Old St. Augustine Rd.

I'm sorry they made me feel so stupid there! I felt guilty...still do about not being able to do MORE for my child. They wanted me to leave work during the day to come and sit in on my son's speech therapy. I tried to make it to therapy 2x a week but working for a corporate office and making speech was almost impossible all the time!!! They would send home "nasty-grams" or like semi-threatening letters. At times when I did go to the school and observe I felt like Conner was being ignored or being treated like he was stupid b/c he wasn't understanding the speech being thrown at him! I would cry...every SINGLE day! They said I wasn't dedicated enough to Conner's audio/verbal education...despite me moving 300+ miles, away from ALL family and friend to Jacksonville (where I know...NO ONE!) for Conner to attend the school!!!

At the meeting where they decided that an audio/verbal education for Conner wasn't being met at Clarke...I cried, and cried...begging them for help. They DID, however get me in touch with FSDB and arrange a tour of the school. I cried the whole tour as well. Being indoctrinated at Clarke that ASL was "2nd best/rate" I dispaired at my son ever having a happy and meaningful life...I mean, in truth I don't know ANY deaf or HoH people. I don't know what to expect. But everyone at Florida School for the Deaf and Blind treat my boy like he's a ROCKSTAR and he LOVES going to school.
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It's my understanding that AVT requires the entire family to be involved and committed to following through with therapy both in and out of the traditional therapy sessions. I'm certainly no expert, as we did not choose to go that route. However, it sounds like you got some pushback because they may have felt the family wasn't doing what they felt was necessary to be successful. Whether or not that was the case in your situation, I really don't know.

What I do know, is that as parents we have to educate ourselves about any given situation as a whole- rather than just one piece of it. Parents need to become knowledgeable themselves, and make their own determinations rather than relying on one (or even a group's) point of view. We make choices as parents, and we are accountable for the choices we make. Because no one but the parents have true "control" over a child's mode of communication.

I'm glad that you guys seem to be linked up with a good program, and your son seems to be getting the support he needs. I would encourage you to sign up for a formal ASL class so that your child has access to language not just at school, but at home as well.
 
ContessaC said:
Yes he went to Clarke on Old St. Augustine Rd.

I'm sorry they made me feel so stupid there! I felt guilty...still do about not being able to do MORE for my child. They wanted me to leave work during the day to come and sit in on my son's speech therapy. I tried to make it to therapy 2x a week but working for a corporate office and making speech was almost impossible all the time!!! They would send home "nasty-grams" or like semi-threatening letters. At times when I did go to the school and observe I felt like Conner was being ignored or being treated like he was stupid b/c he wasn't understanding the speech being thrown at him! I would cry...every SINGLE day! They said I wasn't dedicated enough to Conner's audio/verbal education...despite me moving 300+ miles, away from ALL family and friend to Jacksonville (where I know...NO ONE!) for Conner to attend the school!!!

At the meeting where they decided that an audio/verbal education for Conner wasn't being met at Clarke...I cried, and cried...begging them for help. They DID, however get me in touch with FSDB and arrange a tour of the school. I cried the whole tour as well. Being indoctrinated at Clarke that ASL was "2nd best/rate" I dispaired at my son ever having a happy and meaningful life...I mean, in truth I don't know ANY deaf or HoH people. I don't know what to expect. But everyone at Florida School for the Deaf and Blind treat my boy like he's a ROCKSTAR and he LOVES going to school.
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I'm a bit confused. I thought Clarke was auditory-oral. I mean I know they're doing auditory-verbal therapy as a supplement at a lot of schools.
Auditory-Verbal basicly expects the parents to serve as therapists, and also includes blocking the mouth to disallow speechreading. They also prefer that kids be mainstreamed to the max (inclusion) They don't like auditory-oral classes/schools.
But the point remains that both auditory oral and auditory verbal are both VERY intense, and pretty much expect the parents to serve as surrogate therapists.
 
deafdyke said:
I'm a bit confused. I thought Clarke was auditory-oral. I mean I know they're doing auditory-verbal therapy as a supplement at a lot of schools.
Auditory-Verbal basicly expects the parents to serve as therapists, and also includes blocking the mouth to disallow speechreading. They also prefer that kids be mainstreamed to the max (inclusion) They don't like auditory-oral classes/schools.
But the point remains that both auditory oral and auditory verbal are both VERY intense, and pretty much expect the parents to serve as surrogate therapists.
Click to expand...

I presumed they use AVT at Clarke... I just looked at their website, and I didn't see anything beyond "listening and speaking". When I looked at the credentials of the SLP's, some were AVT certified and another was AV certified. Still in the process of finding out what the distinction is between the two.

Either way, it seems that the school wanted and expected more parental involvement, which is probably why Contessa got "nasty grams".
 
Searching for Playmates & Playdates in Florida

We live in east Volusia County but are willing to drive to meetup with other Deaf peers. My son is 6 and we don't know a single other Deaf child. He is a social butterfly but he feels lonely because no one else signs.

Thanks!
 
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