Deaf/hearing relationships won't last

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Armymech, I just wanted to stop for a second and say HUUUAGH
 
Handsome_Smiley said:
That soo interesting!!! My wife went to your school too!!! I visited and I have talked to some of the teachers, and some don't like the idea on how they are suppost to teach. They are very strick and won't let the teachers teach what they are suppost to teach. It is sad.

I know one teacher that worked there and she took a break to help raise her kids, but then she went back. She was soo pissed that she couldn't teach the students grammer, she quit after that year. Reason she was told not to teach grammer was very simple and stupid. The reason will put most of the deaf that go through the school behind and lacking the chance to do something they want to do or really smart enough to do some, but can't due to their grammer. The excuss she was told was the ASL is the deaf culture's language and that is the only language that will be given to the students. Don't worry abt grammer cause it will affect their ASL if they know grammer.

To me, that is sad and the school system suppost to challage the students to do better then their best and become anything they want to be. Docs, Lawyers, or anything else they want to be!!! Not pushing them down and taking away a tool they need so they can tell the hearing world what they want and need.
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No wonder your wife went to ASDB . That school I went to ASDB. I really hate is so much! I was never happy in ASDB. It is true I remember I pass all class, because it is so damn easy! I remember my teacher James Womack, he is awesome. He doesn't know why my level in class too easy for them. I can pass test in 5 mins in Sicence class, cause it is too easy. I remember in other class in english class. It is horrible education class I ever study in english! No grammer! Not even learn how to spell! Some teachers are lousy teaching! The school was suck and rules are suck! I grew up in hearing school, I like it better that way. I am glad my husband teach me. He does help me to speak right and teach me to write right. I am glad he is there for me:aw:
 
My, ASDB has a reputation now doesn't it. I have two Deaf friends who also went there for i believe 2 years and they both hated it. If this many adult Deaf have the same view of this school you would think that some one could say something to some one to help bring about change there. School is supposed to make you as prepared for life as possible in all areas. It seems that this school is laking in so many ways. It's a real shame!
 
I think so you are guess break up with deaf people about to hard feeling relationship. I know people hearing saying you are look just stupid bad bullying. I know legal is not allowing make not fair to fight or make meaning.

I know all the time stay in my home........... I don't know what is happening not help people like you don't like come to visit to see meet to today? I don't know why lonely is very hard isolate nothing fun communicate to you.

> self happy
>self esteem
> self depression
> nothing talk to people hearing or sometimes an alot of chat to communicate deaf and hard hearing
> nothing fun party special
> no time fun
> no having more than deaf people is one person because I think so in school easy alone and lonely don't understand why fair to social to people hearing like don't like you people against or revenge or hurt to you>

I don't believe that is not good development to grow change better successfully be nice to Saskatoon
 
Please don't take this the wrong way. I'm not trying to be mean or make fun. Smithtr i cannot understand most of your meaning in your post. This of course is not your fault, i just don't know enough yet. I get the gist of what you're saying in parts. As i have said before i am still learning sign language and right now do not understand ASL sentence structure or concepts. I sign just as i speak. I read your posts over and over because i think that it is good exposure for me. If anyone could help me out that would be great. I always want to learn and i know i need to improve. I have SOOO much to learn!! My classes start in January so hopefully this won't be an issue after that point. I see that you are posting some important feelings and i want to fully grasp what you are saying. Right now my understanding of your post is only in bits and pieces. I hate that i am ignorant on this issue. Anyone's help will be greatly appreciated!! =)
 
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I agree. Schools should focus more on English than ASL.

It's fine for parents to use ASL for little kids who can't talk yet. When they start talking, then English should be encouraged to help them with their grammar.

I grew up using MMS, a more strict version of SEE. The only ones who graduated from my high school at grade level were the ones who spent many years in school using MMS or SEE instead of ASL. Others transfered to my school after growing up. They graduated at 3rd/4th grade math and English.

I graduated high school in 1994. Since 1992, only 6 people (out of 40+) from my high school graduated from college.

Deaf people tell me that I don't belong in Deaf Culture, but they also complain that hearing people are unfair to them.
 
My husband is a hearing and I am deaf. We are married for 10 years. My husband still help me improve my grammer. I admit that I am still struggling with my grammer.


My deaf school didn't teach me do grammer but my parent forced them to send me to hearing class for spelling and grammer. Guess what? I had no interpreter there. I hated it because my parent forced deaf school send me to hearing spelling and grammer and Math class even I didn't have interpeter. I didn't understand a teacher at all without interpreter. Wyo's deaf school were such suck!!! I went to hearing coures in Jr high and high school but deaf program didn't let me go hearing english classes. I was in deaf class that teachers teach us basic without grammer. My parent were not happy about it but had no choice. I believe that My parent tried force High school to send me to hearing english courses. High school made stupid policy for deaf students.
 
Star said:
No wonder your wife went to ASDB . That school I went to ASDB. I really hate is so much! I was never happy in ASDB. It is true I remember I pass all class, because it is so damn easy! I remember my teacher James Womack, he is awesome. He doesn't know why my level in class too easy for them. I can pass test in 5 mins in Sicence class, cause it is too easy. I remember in other class in english class. It is horrible education class I ever study in english! No grammer! Not even learn how to spell! Some teachers are lousy teaching! The school was suck and rules are suck! I grew up in hearing school, I like it better that way. I am glad my husband teach me. He does help me to speak right and teach me to write right. I am glad he is there for me:aw:
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My understanding that I was told from ex-dorm addvisor, who wants to change it there, was that the board and higher ups don't want to change it, cause if they do, then their grades will go down and lose funding. Plus if they changed, then most of the students won't graduate. To me, that is the reason why they need to change. That way the deaf can compete with the hearing world.
 
Handsome_Smiley said:
My understanding that I was told from ex-dorm addvisor, who wants to change it there, was that the board and higher ups don't want to change it, cause if they do, then their grades will go down and lose funding. Plus if they changed, then most of the students won't graduate. To me, that is the reason why they need to change. That way the deaf can compete with the hearing world.
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Yep and unfortunately, it is the same everywhere whether hearing or deaf. The mentality is "Change is Bad" and why? Pretty much the reasons you gave and more. It is asinine that some deaf schools force deaf students to remain a "prisoner" in the deaf world with no real tools (i.e., a good grasp of English) to function in the hearing world. Lest somebody misunderstand me, I'm not referring to speech (if they can do speech then learn that too) but at least written English. What blinkin' purpose does that serve? It serves nobody! An excellent example of this problem is one poster (which I will leave nameless) can't even write out a decent simple sentence that people can really understand what the person is asking or saying. This is even factoring for those that understand ASL. Nobody likes to guess what somebody is saying if it isn't clear. The meaning can be 100 different things....ugh!

I grew up HOH and dealt with high aspirations and expectations. In other words, I grew up in the "sink or swim" methodology of life. Believe me, it makes all the difference in the world. Of course, the expectations should be adjusted to the person but they still should be able to master the basics of written English if nothing else.
 
sr171soars said:
Yep and unfortunately, it is the same everywhere whether hearing or deaf. The mentality is "Change is Bad" and why? Pretty much the reasons you gave and more. It is asinine that some deaf schools force deaf students to remain a "prisoner" in the deaf world with no real tools (i.e., a good grasp of English) to function in the hearing world. Lest somebody misunderstand me, I'm not referring to speech (if they can do speech then learn that too) but at least written English. What blinkin' purpose does that serve? It serves nobody! An excellent example of this problem is one poster (which I will leave nameless) can't even write out a decent simple sentence that people can really understand what the person is asking or saying. This is even factoring for those that understand ASL. Nobody likes to guess what somebody is saying if it isn't clear. The meaning can be 100 different things....ugh!

I grew up HOH and dealt with high aspirations and expectations. In other words, I grew up in the "sink or swim" methodology of life. Believe me, it makes all the difference in the world. Of course, the expectations should be adjusted to the person but they still should be able to master the basics of written English if nothing else.
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:gpost: But that is not all who are responsable for that. My brother and his wife went to a board meeting and light the place on fire cause the school their daughter was going to was getting a bomb threat every week. The whole meeting was abt that and the parents would not change the subject till the school had a solid plan. That is what the parents in those deaf schools need to do. Grab their's or their husband's balls and start demanding changes now!!!! Most of the time, the only answer they give is cause most the students are to dumb to learn. That is soo stupid to say.
 
Handsome_Smiley said:
My understanding that I was told from ex-dorm addvisor, who wants to change it there, was that the board and higher ups don't want to change it, cause if they do, then their grades will go down and lose funding. Plus if they changed, then most of the students won't graduate. To me, that is the reason why they need to change. That way the deaf can compete with the hearing world.
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Been there, they would not change it. I'm glad I did graduated back in 1990. I got graduated when I was 17 ys old, I was the youngest in senior class. No wonder why is so lack of education....Oh well, deaf school is small world.
its would be nice, if deaf school change the policy for the education.. They need to learn grammer, spelling and go on etc...When I first came to deaf school, I didn't know how to sign language.I couldn't understand ASL, cause I sign straight english. They don't understand what I'm saying, so I have to sign ASL for them. I have notice, they have not learn to write english. Which is really sad, they will never be able to learn in real world....
 
Star said:
Been there, they would not change it. I'm glad I did graduated back in 1990. I got graduated when I was 17 ys old, I was the youngest in senior class. No wonder why is so lack of education....Oh well, deaf school is small world.
its would be nice, if deaf school change the policy for the education.. They need to learn grammer, spelling and go on etc...When I first came to deaf school, I didn't know how to sign language.I couldn't understand ASL, cause I sign straight english. They don't understand what I'm saying, so I have to sign ASL for them. I have notice, they have not learn to write english. Which is really sad, they will never be able to learn in real world....
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What should do is if your kid goes to a deaf school, just give them their gradutaion the 1st day of their Kindergarden!!! It is the same thing every year, and how are they suppost to learn if you teach the same thing.
 
Handsome_Smiley said:
What should do is if your kid goes to a deaf school, just give them their gradutaion the 1st day of their Kindergarden!!! It is the same thing every year, and how are they suppost to learn if you teach the same thing.
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If my kids go to deaf school, I rather take them to hearing school. I will help and teach my kids to learn. Both my kids are hearing, so I don't have to worry about it. I don't like deaf school, it is not very good education.
 
Sorry I guess I have focus think so not easy find grammar. I don't like translation english language.

I know frustrated I hate reading about to english language for wreck write on paper. I embrassment to girls are say you are not appropriate to write note to girls. I shocked I don't understand why not fair to people don't like reading or laugh to me hurt to feeling my heart. I know really sadly. I don't understand how relationship to other people in school. I think strange because I don't know people don't want to show you on note. But you are not help reading. I guess not perfect to reading to understand. Who is blame or not cannot to hurt to you . I think so warning write on threatening on too much love say love but I don't understand why are not easy find my self think how focus positive. I know guess not easy.
 
as for hearing and deaf relationship you are right its an bad idea i ll tell you the whole story from beginning to end it ll take a while .....



it all started with when i was desprately searching for a woman and i found her online her name was liz i met her thru her sister laura we was hitting it of fand we were doing just fine no problem at all i felt so happy i thought i ve met my life partner she said she felt same way then as time passes i went to new orleans and met her family they were all so happy to see me liz s sons called me daddy i was so proud to be called an daddy but as time passes by some lies was popping up and denied i found it odd and like a fool i ignored it and i noticed liz spe4nding more time with laura alone more than she does to me it made me felt so left out she said she s not used to be with aqn caring guy which is me she s used to an abusive guys but i ve always thought women wanted to be with an guy who s so caring so understanding so loving and so loyal why doesnt she want go out alone with me? doestn she understand how lonely i felt? then as time passed by it was nov 17th i helded her i was in an emotional state because i missed her but i felt better after i hugged her then all of the sudden she said she didnt wanted to be touched or held because she s pregnant the question is is she really pregnant i ve always tried to get her to take an pregnant test but she said she know s she s pregnant but its too early to tell so was it a lie? if it is then why? anyway i aked her to let me hold her at l3ast for a while because i felt so lonely more than i could handle i ve been so alone for years i needed someone to hold once a while and that time was the most time i needed her but she didnt watn to hold me at all she just told me she loved me but her eyes showed hatred i didnt understand then i just lost it i cried so hard and i cutted myself on my left arm which i shouldnt have done but it was done i aplologized to liz she said she needed to be alone for a while to calm down i tried to leave her alone but i couldnt stand seeing her hurted i tried to tell her i love her and that i care for her and that is there anything i can do to make he feel better i wanted to be there for her and then later on three men came in and chatted with liz i felt left out i noticed her laughting and chatting it up liek nothing happened and then all of the sudden she just got up and went to bedroom and put on an very sexy clothes the one you could she her tits and her private parts thru the clothe and then she flashed her boobs to one man named mike and flirted with him i asked her why did she go and do that?> she said "because if that swhat i want to i will" i just sat there watching her cheat on me it hurts so much i had so much pain my emotions actually had an breakdown i felt so numb why did she had to do this to me? she flirted with that man mike and sexually tease him flunging her boobies around right in front of me i had to endure it and they took a walk and told me to stay put who knows what she s doing with that man mike when she s taking a walk? with him ? kissing? or much more? i didnt want to lose her swo i listened my friend told me to leave her that she s not worth it i just cant because i loved her too deeply then they came back and the men finally left in my mind i told myself i had to leave her because that s the real her liz is an whore an player an slut an cheater and she s so cruelest women i ve ever met i mean who hurts men right front of his eyes and laugh about it and got drunk ? and i couldnt sleep then the next day when liz woke up i worked very hard to make her happy again by expressing my love for her i wrote poems i bought her an rose i even told her i was going to propose to her because i actually thought that ll make her happy because she told me that it was her dream that i would ask her to marry me no matter how soon it is and now she told me off that i m too controling and that i shouldnt have controled her and then she wanted to break up i just looked on her flatly and said ok i accept that if that s what she want , i love her but she s not worth it i refuse to date with an 2 cent whore it makes me wonder do she sell her body for moneyt? i wouldnt be surprised anyway even if i hav ent showed signs of voilence they still are afraid of me why is that? and they called the cop to make sure i was kicked out in peace so they kicked me out an dleft me for homeless i walked from metaiire to new orleans and got in amtrak train and got back in wisconsin and here i am feeling happy and relieved that i m free from her evil grasp note to self never ever go out with an woman online peroid, anyway tha is the story of hearing and de4af relationship onlything hearing woman havbe done to me is bring me pain where were lis when i needed her the most i 3was there for her and she was never there for me i helped her sne she didnt do anything for me is that fair? i know what i did was wrong but do i actually deserved to get cheated on? to be hu4rted like this when liz turned into an whore an slut right in front of my eyes?

everyone hope that ll help with this thread all this happened last week
 
darkflare83 said:
as for hearing and deaf relationship you are right its an bad idea i ll tell you the whole story from beginning to end it ll take a while .....



it all started with when i was desprately searching for a woman and i found her online her name was liz i met her thru her sister laura we was hitting it of fand we were doing just fine no problem at all i felt so happy i thought i ve met my life partner she said she felt same way then as time passes i went to new orleans and met her family they were all so happy to see me liz s sons called me daddy i was so proud to be called an daddy but as time passes by some lies was popping up and denied i found it odd and like a fool i ignored it and i noticed liz spe4nding more time with laura alone more than she does to me it made me felt so left out she said she s not used to be with aqn caring guy which is me she s used to an abusive guys but i ve always thought women wanted to be with an guy who s so caring so understanding so loving and so loyal why doesnt she want go out alone with me? doestn she understand how lonely i felt? then as time passed by it was nov 17th i helded her i was in an emotional state because i missed her but i felt better after i hugged her then all of the sudden she said she didnt wanted to be touched or held because she s pregnant the question is is she really pregnant i ve always tried to get her to take an pregnant test but she said she know s she s pregnant but its too early to tell so was it a lie? if it is then why? anyway i aked her to let me hold her at l3ast for a while because i felt so lonely more than i could handle i ve been so alone for years i needed someone to hold once a while and that time was the most time i needed her but she didnt watn to hold me at all she just told me she loved me but her eyes showed hatred i didnt understand then i just lost it i cried so hard and i cutted myself on my left arm which i shouldnt have done but it was done i aplologized to liz she said she needed to be alone for a while to calm down i tried to leave her alone but i couldnt stand seeing her hurted i tried to tell her i love her and that i care for her and that is there anything i can do to make he feel better i wanted to be there for her and then later on three men came in and chatted with liz i felt left out i noticed her laughting and chatting it up liek nothing happened and then all of the sudden she just got up and went to bedroom and put on an very sexy clothes the one you could she her tits and her private parts thru the clothe and then she flashed her boobs to one man named mike and flirted with him i asked her why did she go and do that?> she said "because if that swhat i want to i will" i just sat there watching her cheat on me it hurts so much i had so much pain my emotions actually had an breakdown i felt so numb why did she had to do this to me? she flirted with that man mike and sexually tease him flunging her boobies around right in front of me i had to endure it and they took a walk and told me to stay put who knows what she s doing with that man mike when she s taking a walk? with him ? kissing? or much more? i didnt want to lose her swo i listened my friend told me to leave her that she s not worth it i just cant because i loved her too deeply then they came back and the men finally left in my mind i told myself i had to leave her because that s the real her liz is an whore an player an slut an cheater and she s so cruelest women i ve ever met i mean who hurts men right front of his eyes and laugh about it and got drunk ? and i couldnt sleep then the next day when liz woke up i worked very hard to make her happy again by expressing my love for her i wrote poems i bought her an rose i even told her i was going to propose to her because i actually thought that ll make her happy because she told me that it was her dream that i would ask her to marry me no matter how soon it is and now she told me off that i m too controling and that i shouldnt have controled her and then she wanted to break up i just looked on her flatly and said ok i accept that if that s what she want , i love her but she s not worth it i refuse to date with an 2 cent whore it makes me wonder do she sell her body for moneyt? i wouldnt be surprised anyway even if i hav ent showed signs of voilence they still are afraid of me why is that? and they called the cop to make sure i was kicked out in peace so they kicked me out an dleft me for homeless i walked from metaiire to new orleans and got in amtrak train and got back in wisconsin and here i am feeling happy and relieved that i m free from her evil grasp note to self never ever go out with an woman online peroid, anyway tha is the story of hearing and de4af relationship onlything hearing woman havbe done to me is bring me pain where were lis when i needed her the most i 3was there for her and she was never there for me i helped her sne she didnt do anything for me is that fair? i know what i did was wrong but do i actually deserved to get cheated on? to be hu4rted like this when liz turned into an whore an slut right in front of my eyes?

everyone hope that ll help with this thread all this happened last week
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I hope everything turns out for you. You also don't need a gal that is like that. She will get her just dues and find herself on a talk show trying to find her babies daddy with a DNA test. She will appear on the show like 4-8 times with a new name and still now father. You don't need that kind of drama
 
darkflare83 dude i am sorry to hear that. I know how much you cared for her you have mentioned her to me in past threads! Man that sucks. But it is not nessarily because of the Deaf/hearing thing. She sounds like my former best friend. She did that to her Fiance' who was also my best friend. (of course not exactly but in general) She was a horrible liar, cheater, manipulator. I caught her in her lies and let her get burried by them. She seemed so great like i said my bst friend. She wound up being a horrible person. Also my brothers ex-wife she seemed to be a wonderful wife and mother, then after years of marrage she just up and left and destroyed my brother emotionally. Men get a bad rap a lot but women can be dirty too. I know it hurts and you feel like you want to rip your heart out cause at least if you can't feel it you won't hurt anymore. But my personality is, why let that person win over you? From the way you have discribed her she wants to see you fall. Be strong. Be confident in who you are. If you were a good man before you are still that good man no matter what some heartless person does to you!
 
Dark, dude that sucks! This may sound crude, but F$@K HER! You dont need that drama in your life. I would hate to say it, but she played you like a fool. You did the best thing by simply going home. As Armymech said, she will gets hers in the long run. I am a firm believer in charma. Your actions will comeback on you ten fold. Eventually her lying, manipulating, cheating, whoring will come back on her and she will be left with nothing meaningful. Look at it this way, at least you found out what type of person she is before you married her. If you married her, and had kids with her, you are joined with her for life. At least the way it turned out, you can llok back at her like you do now.
I too have had my heart broken. Once you love someone, you will always love them. The emotions slowly go away, but they will always remain.
Keep looking, I promise you there is a perfect girl out there for you. Trust me, if I found one, anyone can.
But the fact that she was hearing had nothing to do with it. She wsa just a coniving bitch.
 
smithtr said:
Sorry I guess I have focus think so not easy find grammar. I don't like translation english language.

I know frustrated I hate reading about to english language for wreck write on paper. I embrassment to girls are say you are not appropriate to write note to girls. I shocked I don't understand why not fair to people don't like reading or laugh to me hurt to feeling my heart. I know really sadly. I don't understand how relationship to other people in school. I think strange because I don't know people don't want to show you on note. But you are not help reading. I guess not perfect to reading to understand. Who is blame or not cannot to hurt to you . I think so warning write on threatening on too much love say love but I don't understand why are not easy find my self think how focus positive. I know guess not easy.
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He is not using asl word order when writing english southern. He is trying to write english in english form. How do I know? He uses words that are strictly english and not asl. He doesn't know how to get his concepts into proper english yet. If you you try to sign what he is saying and you know ASL you won't be signing ASL. The languages are too different for someone not fluent in english to asl gloss. But if you study this you can still figure it out. Like his first sentence, he says, he's sorry.He guesses he has to really think hard to find the write grammar. He hates to read and to translate his thoughts into english. He's frustrated because he has a hard time writing proper english. He's embarassed when girls say he's incapable of writing a love note. He can't comprehend why people are so cruel to pick on him when it is hurtful. It makes him sad that he can't relate to his peers in school. It doesn't help him learn how to read english when others write him a note but won't allow him to read it no matter whether it is hurtful or not. This next sentence I am guessing. I think he says that if people are put off by his love notes being too forward then let him know. But he doesn't understand why it's hard for people to give him the benefit of the doubt and see his good qualities. Wow that was hard and maybe I was off some I don't know maybe others can chime in and together we will understand what this nice person is saying to us. We certainly appreciate his contribution to this forum! :)
 
I'm hard of hearing, and I've been with my boyfriend for a year and a month. It's definitely a challenge, but so what, we are all HUMAN and it doesn't matter whether we are deaf or hearing. Who says that deaf people MUST marry deaf people, and hearing MUST marry hearing? It's complete bullshit, and if you love someone, it shouldn't matter. It is as simple as that.
 
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