Deaf & Hearing Dating?

AHOY said:
I like translators or maybe the lady I had she wasn't awkward, at all, but yeah his little brother you just never know if really he was making things up lol. so like yall text each other like face to face? oh cool I should try that sometime with him. so how long have yall been together?
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They are called "interpreters" not translators.
 
Jiro said:
I guess there's always first time for everything :)

my previous ex did try to learn sign language. she took ASL class and got very involved with my deaf activities. she knows many of my deaf friends. it's just too bad that we're no longer dating. At least it ended amicably. I'm just not really into her but we're still friends and we still hang out here and there.
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So wonderful to see adults approaching adult relationships with an adult perspective.;)
 
jillio said:
Honestly, it is not up to you to tell anyone your boyfriend is deaf. That is for him to disclose. It really shouldn't be something that needs to be "told" to anyone.

And, if it makes no difference to you that he is deaf, why do you think it needs to be told at all?
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i think it is up to her , its not something thats bad or wrong....
Her boyfriend is deaf....
 
jillio said:
Honestly, it is not up to you to tell anyone your boyfriend is deaf. That is for him to disclose. It really shouldn't be something that needs to be "told" to anyone.

And, if it makes no difference to you that he is deaf, why do you think it needs to be told at all?
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So true! I dumped a great guy about 4.5 years, not because he wasn't great to me, but, because he put me on display as his "Deaf girlfriend" all the time. I *HATED* it and even though I ask him to let it be my choice if I want to tell people or not he still kept telling everyone to speak face to face to me because I'm Deaf.:roll:

N-e-x-t!! :giggle:

Fortunately, I'm dating an awesome guy who respect me, the culture and values and is learning ASL and would never dream of putting me on display like some kind of freak show contestant.
 
Paige said:
i think it is up to her , its not something thats bad or wrong....
Her boyfriend is deaf....
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I disagree. I do not know if you are Deaf or hearing but, I can tell you, it is *absolutely* up to us whether or not we want to tell someone that we are Deaf and what our communication needs are because of it. We aren't children that need Mummy or Daddy to speak for us or to take our choice and voice away from us. :roll:

Having a Deaf boyfriend/girlfriend doesn't get you into some kind of secret club. You don't get a badge from your friends. I wish some of the posters here would take a more mature approach to this.

I can't speak for a male Deaf but I would imagine this kind of approach to a relationship to be emasculating.
 
I agree with you totally Rebecca! I'm not embarrassed to be Deaf but jeez...it's MY Deaf to tell people about! My mom is great, don't get me wrong, but she always does "this is my daughter Sunshine who's Deaf". Why not just "my daughter Sunshine"?
 
sunny_signs said:
I agree with you totally Rebecca! I'm not embarrassed to be Deaf but jeez...it's MY Deaf to tell people about! My mom is great, don't get me wrong, but she always does "this is my daughter Sunshine who's Deaf". Why not just "my daughter Sunshine"?
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Precisely! Why always be separated from others as we are introduced? Why can't we just be Sunshine or Rebecca?

I am a well educated, financially independent and confident woman who happens to be Deaf and I'm damn proud of it! It took *YEARS* to get to that point and I'll be damned if someone wants to treat me like a new pet that they can parade around for their friends to giggle over!! :roll:
 
People can easy see I'm Deaf anyway...hello signs? Might as well say "this my daughter Sunshine who's a girl/white/wearing green" or something just as obvious.
 
sunny_signs said:
I agree with you totally Rebecca! I'm not embarrassed to be Deaf but jeez...it's MY Deaf to tell people about! My mom is great, don't get me wrong, but she always does "this is my daughter Sunshine who's Deaf". Why not just "my daughter Sunshine"?
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I can quiet understand what you mean just because thats never happened to me. (im hearing)
But I know some times when Quintin and I are at the mall and i see friends and they see me signing they get very confused. (the only deaf person any of my friends have ever met its Quintin) So I say hi this is my boyfriend Quintin he's deaf.

i think its just something that is said so people dont go on talking and possibly leave that person out of the conversation.
 
rebeccalj said:
I disagree. I do not know if you are Deaf or hearing but, I can tell you, it is *absolutely* up to us whether or not we want to tell someone that we are Deaf and what our communication needs are because of it. We aren't children that need Mummy or Daddy to speak for us or to take our choice and voice away from us. :roll:

Having a Deaf boyfriend/girlfriend doesn't get you into some kind of secret club. You don't get a badge from your friends. I wish some of the posters here would take a more mature approach to this.
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im hearing , I guess i see your point . it is up to you , but if I didnt know someone was deaf or HoH and starting talking to them because I didnt know I would feel like a complete insensitive idiot.

I understand that you dont need Mommy or Daddy speaking for you . and Im not saying that you do or anything but once again I would feel very ignorant and rude not knowing and blabbering on about something


what do you mean by a more mature approach?
 
Paige said:
im hearing , I guess i see your point . it is up to you , but if I didnt know someone was deaf or HoH and starting talking to them because I didnt know I would feel like a complete insensitive idiot.

I understand that you dont need Mommy or Daddy speaking for you . and Im not saying that you do or anything but once again I would feel very ignorant and rude not knowing and blabbering on about something


what do you mean by a more mature approach?
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The thing that you miss is that it isn't about *you.* I guess the best thing to do is to ask Quintin how he feels about you splashing it about to everybody that he's Deaf. That's really all that matters in this situation. I wouldn't like it one bit!

More mature /= posters that come on here all excited because they got themselves a Deaf boyfriend/girlfriend and are *so* happy about it. Like they won a prize. We see it often. Sorry.
 
Yeah, that feels a bit like being a circus freak. I had a friend (note I said HAD) who was so into my being Deaf...it was like I was her entertainment. She loved to make sure everyone within 50km knew that She Had A Deaf Friend, and wasn't she special because of it? It was like she was a martyr, befriending this poor tragic Deafie, and I should only be too happy to perform for anyone she wanted to impress with her "diversity". No thank you!
 
Paige said:
im hearing , I guess i see your point . it is up to you , but if I didnt know someone was deaf or HoH and starting talking to them because I didnt know I would feel like a complete insensitive idiot.
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We don't all wear neon signs which say "i'm deaf" or travel with a hearie friend that will make sure all other hearies know we are deaf, though Paige. It is not insensitive to talk to someone and discover they're Deaf. It's insensitive to assume it's your place to broadcast our Deafness. :) You know I think you're great Paige, this is just something you should know.
 
sunny_signs said:
Yeah, that feels a bit like being a circus freak. I had a friend (note I said HAD) who was so into my being Deaf...it was like I was her entertainment. She loved to make sure everyone within 50km knew that She Had A Deaf Friend, and wasn't she special because of it? It was like she was a martyr, befriending this poor tragic Deafie, and I should only be too happy to perform for anyone she wanted to impress with her "diversity". No thank you!
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OMG, I know that one well! My 'Martyr Meter' is strong now. I can detect those yahoos a kilometre away. :giggle:
 
sunny_signs said:
Yeah, that feels a bit like being a circus freak. I had a friend (note I said HAD) who was so into my being Deaf...it was like I was her entertainment. She loved to make sure everyone within 50km knew that She Had A Deaf Friend, and wasn't she special because of it? It was like she was a martyr, befriending this poor tragic Deafie, and I should only be too happy to perform for anyone she wanted to impress with her "diversity". No thank you!
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Awww. Once I was a cook for a cafe, and my boss took me out of the kitchen to meet a Brownies group. I spent a few minutes showing them signs, then rushed back into the kitchen before I got too far behind. In retrospect, I don't feel my boss was wrong in her action. "Course, some deafies would disagree.

Now, back to the topic. :giggle:
 
I think that's okay IF boss asked you if you mind, and boss doesn't do this all the time. It gets tiresome always be someone's show.
 
Paige said:
i think it is up to her , its not something thats bad or wrong....
Her boyfriend is deaf....
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Exactly. Her boyfriend is deaf; she isn't. It is up to him to disclose his deafness, not her.
 
sunny_signs said:
I agree with you totally Rebecca! I'm not embarrassed to be Deaf but jeez...it's MY Deaf to tell people about! My mom is great, don't get me wrong, but she always does "this is my daughter Sunshine who's Deaf". Why not just "my daughter Sunshine"?
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Exactly. Being Deaf doesn't make you any less of a person. Do you introduce her as, "This is my mom who is hearing"?
 
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