Well..If I speak, people hear how well I can speak so they assume I can hear pretty well. It seems like in their minds (I am assuming) the better the deaf person speaks, the better he/she can hear but what they dont realize that is not the case. Even trying to explain that, it seems like they dont believe it or dont really want to work at making sure that they are facing me so I can read their lips. Instead, they start turning their faces away and start jabbering away so when I tell them to pls look at me, I get the rolled eyes or they get that pissed off look. At the end, I am the one who feels like I am the one who is at fault for not trying even though I did. I hope I am being clear.
I worked hard in speech therapy so my speech is very clear for someone with my degree of hearing loss but I need support from hearing people in their willingness to make sure I understand what is being said around me or that I am able to see their lips at all times. Most of the time, I dont get that and when I ask for it, I get an attitude from them which in turn, makes me feel like shit. That is why I ended up becoming so withdrawn and scared to reach out in my 20s. Now that I am more wise and have experienced full access to communication, I am able to look back and know that it wasnt my fault. I did all I can but if hearing people dont want to meet me halfway, then what more can I do? I am limited to some degree cuz of the severity of my hearing loss and I shouldnt be felt as a burden. That is why I seek other ASL users than non ASL users. I hate that feeling so why should I have to put myself thru that daily? I am done with that. Life is too short and I want to enjoy it and feel good about myself.