Deaf culture - do's and don'ts, etc. Let's make a list!

[deafskeptic]

My hubby and I visited his grandmother in PA a few days ago and I got to meet a few of his cousins for the first time. Oh wow...one of them is hard of hearing and has been since birth. Anyways, his grandmother was telling me about the old hearing aids he used and she went on and on how hearing aids make deaf people more like normal people. I was like . I told her that there are many deaf people who dont wear anything and they are perfectly normal and she was like "how can they be if they cant hear or talk? They are probably mentally retarded or something, then." My husband jumped in and said "Grandma..u dont know what you are talking about..pls change the subject before we have problems. "

Dont assume that just because a deaf person doesnt want to wear hearing aides, that person is not normal!

You've got your work cut for you when it comes to educating your husband's family. Oi. ><

No wonder you're having problems with your in laws over your son's being a late talker.

 

[shel90]

You've got your work cut for you when it comes to educating your husband's family. Oi. ><

No wonder you're having problems with your in laws over your son's being a late talker.

Well..they are very very close minded. Nobody in his family ever went to college...not even take one class. Most of them, including my hubby, grew up in the ghetto or poor neighborhoods of Philly. I mean, his cousin even said that we should buy our son a toy gun so he can practice shooting and learn how to be a tough gangster. I told my hubby I dont want our son around these people even if they are family.

 

[jillio]

You've got your work cut for you when it comes to educating your husband's family. Oi. ><

No wonder you're having problems with your in laws over your son's being a late talker.

**nodding agreement**.........I think Shel's in-laws might be better off if they did less talking instead of worrying about her son doing more.

 

[Reba]

I have a question.

What is the best way to get the attention of a Deaf person who is walking away, down a long hall, or across a parking lot?

 

[Tousi]

I have a question.

What is the best way to get the attention of a Deaf person who is walking away, down a long hall, or across a parking lot?

A snowball, a wrench, a phone book, a balled-up, soaking wet roll of toilet paper? Lol, usually if I feel (because I know that person well) the person will look back as he/she recedes in the distance, then that takes care of that. Or if I know what I want to say/ask, I will walk/run to quickly, catch up and tap the person for his/her attention. In the hallway, I am not beyond flicking the lights once ONLY if there aren't any other folks (hearing people) in that hallway.

 

[deafskeptic]

Well..they are very very close minded. Nobody in his family ever went to college...not even take one class. Most of them, including my hubby, grew up in the ghetto or poor neighborhoods of Philly. I mean, his cousin even said that we should buy our son a toy gun so he can practice shooting and learn how to be a tough gangster. I told my hubby I dont want our son around these people even if they are family.

I don't blame you. Your husband is clearly an independant man.

 

[jillio]

I have a question.

What is the best way to get the attention of a Deaf person who is walking away, down a long hall, or across a parking lot?

I odn't know if its the best way or not, but I have been known to take off running like a maniac to catch up with someone I needed to communicate with. I've also been known to yell at someone (hearing) closer and ask them to tap so-and-so on the shoulder and them to point to me when they had their attention.

 

[Chase]

. . . the person will look back as he/she recedes in the distance, then that takes care of that.

This is slightly off topic, as it involves what deafies might do to diminish the problem. My older sister (deaf since birth) taught me to always look back when walking away.

For people who are fond of you, it pleases them. It also gives anyone the opportunity to say what he or she "just remembered."

The habit of looking back helped a lot even when I was hard of hearing. Now that I'm deaf, it tends to keep me in the loop.

As for getting their attention, if they don't look back, there's always next time or e-mail, ha ha ha. I might miss if I throw anything.

 

[Reba]

A snowball, a wrench, a phone book, a balled-up, soaking wet roll of toilet paper? Lol, usually if I feel (because I know that person well) the person will look back as he/she recedes in the distance, then that takes care of that. Or if I know what I want to say/ask, I will walk/run to quickly, catch up and tap the person for his/her attention. In the hallway, I am not beyond flicking the lights once ONLY if there aren't any other folks (hearing people) in that hallway.

Heh, heh, some good and bad suggestions there!

I'm thinking about situations where I'm in a public building, like a college, church, government agency, or hospital, so I don't think they'd appreciate the light flicker.

Also, sometimes they've already turned the corner before I try to get them, so looking back doesn't work.

Usually I end up running, which gets some weird looks from other people. A professionally dressed middle-aged woman running down a hospital corridor or IRS hallway can attract some unwanted attention. :P

 

[Reba]

I odn't know if its the best way or not, but I have been known to take off running like a maniac to catch up with someone I needed to communicate with.

That's what I usually do, too, but I was hoping for a less dramatic alternative. :P

I've also been known to yell at someone (hearing) closer and ask them to tap so-and-so on the shoulder and them to point to me when they had their attention.

Hmm, I haven't yet tried that with strangers. For some reason, people often mistake me for a professor, a doctor, a psychologist, or a detective, so I'm not sure what response that method would get. (It must be the black clothes, sensible shoes, and gray hair.)

 

[Reba]

...As for getting their attention, if they don't look back, there's always next time or e-mail, ha ha ha. I might miss if I throw anything.

It's usually a situation where someone needs an immediate response, come back to a meeting, or to catch someone before he/she goes to the wrong destination.

My aim's not real accurate, and I throw like a girl, so that's probably not a good alternative for me, ha, ha.

I was hoping that there was some simple "trick" that I might have overlooked.

I like the laser pointer idea but in certain settings (especially post 9/11) that might not be a good idea.

 

[Babyblue]

I had people chase me down and tell me what a "B" I was for ignoring them. I'm like what???? Then I show them my hearing aid and tell them I can't hear and if they have something to say then say it to my face where I can see you. Usually that will make them embarrassed and they are like then they apologies to me.

 

[jillio]

That's what I usually do, too, but I was hoping for a less dramatic alternative. :P

I'd like an alternative that was quite so physically demanding, as well.


Hmm, I haven't yet tried that with strangers. For some reason, people often mistake me for a professor, a doctor, a psychologist, or a detective, so I'm not sure what response that method would get. (It must be the black clothes, sensible shoes, and gray hair.)

If its someone who doesn't know me, I usually get a look of confusion and shock.....but repeating my request a little more vehemently usually provides the desired response.

 

[Secretblend]

I think it's safe to say that there is really no good way to get attention of Deaf if they are not looking in the direction. All above comments unfortunally will attract attention that is unwanted but that's part of life. We have to live with our hearing loss and therefore so do others that interacts with us.

(sorry if I'm using the D/d wrong, I'm still learning how the rules are set up regarding that.)

had a thought, what about using pagers or cell phones. Seems like most of the poeple have those. If need attention, even just down the hall. Text them asking them to turn around or come back.

 

[Reba]

I'd like an alternative that was quite so physically demanding, as well.

Absolutely. When it's over 98 degrees and 100 percent humidity in the South Carolina sun, and I'm dressed in black, I don't like working up a sweat running across a parking lot before my next assignment.

 

[shel90]

**nodding agreement**.........I think Shel's in-laws might be better off if they did less talking instead of worrying about her son doing more.

I know..the more I get to know them, the more I realize how different my hubby and I are from them.

 

[shel90]

Heh, heh, some good and bad suggestions there!

I'm thinking about situations where I'm in a public building, like a college, church, government agency, or hospital, so I don't think they'd appreciate the light flicker.

Also, sometimes they've already turned the corner before I try to get them, so looking back doesn't work.

Usually I end up running, which gets some weird looks from other people. A professionally dressed middle-aged woman running down a hospital corridor or IRS hallway can attract some unwanted attention. :P

I would love to see that! I am usually the one being chased by others so I never get to see something like that too often.

 

[shel90]

I had people chase me down and tell me what a "B" I was for ignoring them. I'm like what???? Then I show them my hearing aid and tell them I can't hear and if they have something to say then say it to my face where I can see you. Usually that will make them embarrassed and they are like then they apologies to me.

Have had that happened to me too many times. I have been considered a snob by some people for that reason. I used to get senstive about it but not anymore.

 

[Babyblue]

Have had that happened to me too many times. I have been considered a snob by some people for that reason. I used to get senstive about it but not anymore.

Sadly it happens way too often... by the time they apologize it is too late....in most cases..first impression is what counts.

 

[jillio]

Absolutely. When it's over 98 degrees and 100 percent humidity in the South Carolina sun, and I'm dressed in black, I don't like working up a sweat running across a parking lot before my next assignment.