Deaf and adjusting to living on your own...

DOD said:
My signature says it.
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VVVVVVV​
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I wouldn't blame you. I just believe in the principle of not comforting with a lie, knowing the truth hurts, it beats dragging it out, when it isn't necessary. Though sometimes, sometimes it's best to keep quiet. But when there's a baby involved. Kids come first, in my rule book. Can't apologize for something I strongly believe in. If you want to report me, I also see your perspective as well. No hard feelings regardless.
 
Eddie Jay said:
I wouldn't blame you. I just believe in the principle of not comforting with a lie, knowing the truth hurts, it beats dragging it out, when it isn't necessary. Though sometimes, sometimes it's best to keep quiet. But when there's a baby involved. Kids come first, in my rule book. Can't apologize for something I strongly believe in. If you want to report me, I also see your perspective as well. No hard feelings regardless.
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You lost me. All I did was point to my signature which says that over 95% of what we worry about never happens. All I am trying to say is to not worry so much. I am a father and I know when it comes to our kids we worry excessively. I also know that we worry about things that never happen. I also know that being consumed with worry is not healthy. Peace!
 
DOD said:
You lost me. All I did was point to my signature which says that over 95% of what we worry about never happens. All I am trying to say is to not worry so much. I am a father and I know when it comes to our kids we worry excessively. I also know that we worry about things that never happen. I also know that being consumed with worry is not healthy. Peace!
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I obviously misunderstood the arrows! Thank you for pointing that out. :)
 
Eddie Jay said:
I live alone as well. Never bothered me, but then again, I wasn't raised to be dependant. It is your fault for being dependant, especially that you have a kid, who depends on you.
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Disagree....Living with someone for 7 years, then he moves out, can be traumatic to a female. If "she" moved out, of course the male wouldn't be bothered so much....We females are the weaker sex...not a match for a male. Years ago, I too was alone with 2 children and was broken in on twice. Got a guard dog, they shot it...stole gas from my car also. Winded up getting a shotgun...but once I was asleep and couldn't hear anyone trying to break in ??...traumatic...So I moved to an apt. complex near friends that I knew, that had 24 hr. security. Expensive, but I felt a lot safer.
 
As a female, many, many times I was told "don't let ur neighbors know you are deaf"...their way of thinking was I would be an easy mark for break-ins due to my deafness....That's true in some cases...But it didn't deter me from living independent...double locks on my doors, windows locked, being alert to my surroundings at all times (especially at night), and having a dog.
 
When i was living alone before getting married i bought visual alarms i.e.,a visual fire smoke alarm. I lived in a relatively safe area, i had a dog (which we still have 5 years later), and no not necessarily for safety, but because i loved dogs and always wanted one, but of course safety came as an added advantage.
I mean, hearing people get broken-into as well, so hearing is not a guarantee that they will never be burglarized and that they will always be "safer" or something of this sought.
 
Eddie Jay said:
I live alone as well. Never bothered me, but then again, I wasn't raised to be dependant. It is your fault for being dependant, especially that you have a kid, who depends on you.
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But hey now, nobody expects themselves to separate from their partner in all honest truth. Being dependent isn't totally a bad thing because partners rely on one another. If they separate, thats it, move on and find solutions. 7 years isn't a short amount of time and shes learning how to be independent and finding solutions.. Everyone learns but its just a matter of 'when'. Eventually they get there and learn how to be independent.
 
Lhigson3 said:
I have lived with my ex partner for 7 years, he was hearing and I felt safe. We have recently separated and now I am scared of everything. I'm scared I wont hear smoke alarm if there was a fire in the house, I am scared I wouldn't hear someone breaking in, I am always worried about my one year old daughter. I don't sleep very well at night. Any suggestions welcome on how to get rid of these horrible worries.
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Hi there...I went through the same thing a number of years ago..but my daughter was 3..I slept with one hearing aid on...and the baby monitor. .all worked well for me...as my daughter is now a teenager...I would do what others have suggested and research what tools are out there that you feel will help you best...you will eventually get more confidence in being in your own...and you will feel great about yourself as well...hang in there..each day will get easier
 
As a guy looking at your situation knowing so little about you mostly all I have to offer is compassion.
It's hard to beat human companionship that works well. I figure you to be resourceful and that is your biggest ally in the meantime while you are making new friends.
I just spent a year as a roommate for an old buddy that had a stroke. That was very difficult but it helped me as well. Mutual self interest can be a real winner while keeping your life moving forward.

The gizmo's will help too.
 
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Saying it's someone's fault for being dependent is not helpful. In a perfect world we wouldn't be surrounded with toxic people who encourages dependency. However it's a very imperfect world full of toxic people. First step towards living independently and feeling secure with oneself when it's never been done before is to ask. There are no stupid questions, the only stupidity are the questions not asked, and people who judge and criticize hastily when they are no better than another.
 
Also useless to say that women are the weaker sex. Au contraire. Both sex have weaknesses. And what does one do when there's a weakness? Acknowledge it, then find ways to fortify it.
 
KailaGrace said:
Also useless to say that women are the weaker sex. Au contraire. Both sex have weaknesses. And what does one do when there's a weakness? Acknowledge it, then find ways to fortify it.
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I don't mind find the way to make you weak when you don't feel weakness.
 
Thank you for sharing it with us! I get it what you mean! It’s tough being on your own especially raising a young daughter. I can related it with you as I was a single mom for many years. It’s a challenge for you but it’s positive! It’s take courage and self-esteem to lead an independent life. I know it’s hard not being to hear everything in your home and outside.

I have a suggestion but the question is where do you live. I mean which state do you live in? Here in WI we have what is called TEPP (Telecommunications Equipment Purchase Program). I have copied a link and it’s https://psc.wi.gov/Pages/Programs/TEPP.aspx. You might want to consider this. They do help you get a flashing device for doorbell, phone/videophone etc. They will not help you get a smoke alarm but you can contact your local fire dept to see if they have a grant to help you get a free fire alarm. I had the same thing for my home. My local fire dept received a grant from the state to help purchase flashing smoke alarms for the deaf and hard of hearing. They came to my home and had it installed. It’s so wonderful and a blessing to have this kind of help! You could also contact Office for the Deaf and Hard of Hearing at your state and see what resources they have? They will definitely help you.

Just remember that you are not alone! Many single parents raise their children alone. Is there a chance that the two of you get back together? I know you mentioned that you are both separated.

Keeping you in my prayer.
 
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