Dating Sweet Deaf guy

ksbsnowowl said:
I'm a hearing guy dating a deaf girl, and the biggest advice I have for you is to have patience, both of you. I took a college ASL class last fall, and I'm improving vastly, but I still have a long way to go. My girlfriend is very patient with me and my slow receptive skills (learning to read sign is a lot more work than learning the signs yourself); we both know there will be miscommunications, and take the time to make sure we are understanding each other properly. It takes some work, but when you really care for the person, you don't mind it.

As far as learning sign language, you can usually find a class at most colleges and universities; see if you can audit the course. Also, Deaf community centers and some churches offer sign language classes. But, to get you started right away, visit this website to see signs in action.
Click to expand...
Thanks :) I am very patient and I will have him come on to read this when he is online tomorrow. I know I have the patience and I know there will be miscommunation. But I am willing to do whatever it takes b/c he is such a great guy. He and I have a lot in common, and we have yet to meet in person... I am worried what to do when we meet any advice on that? And for sign I know very few words so I am going to take the time to learn more and make sure I understand it. And he has said that he would help me learn sign too. He has been deaf since he was 16, he is now 24 I am 19. I havea good feeling when we talk....I am worried what to do when we meet though any suggestions on a good first date?
 
Bowling.

:boink:

And congratulations. I hope things work out for you, two. As far as first communication on 1 st date. You say he reads lips. If he can speak, too, there shouldn't be a big problem.
 
cental34 said:
Bowling.

:boink:

And congratulations. I hope things work out for you, two.
Click to expand...
Thank You :) That is a great idea :) His screen name is sbeardsmmiller so if you ever see him messge thats who it is :) ** I signed up for this b4 he did or my sn would have been something similar **
 
sbeards19, out of curious... have you actually 'seen' what that guy looks like and all?
 
sbeards19 said:
I am worried what to do when we meet though any suggestions on a good first date?
Click to expand...
Take it real slow. Walk in the park. Or as cental34 said, bowling... but make sure that you guys have more time for talking... talk about everything to know each other bit more. Go to any place where many people are and do not go to the theater or rent the movie to watch... because it will eat up a lot of time which you guys should use the time for chatting. Eating at nice restaurant will be nice since it offers you guys the perfect environment and opportunity to talk and talk.

Good luck!
 
sbeards19 said:
He has been deaf since he was 16, he is now 24 I am 19. I havea good feeling when we talk....I am worried what to do when we meet though any suggestions on a good first date?
Click to expand...
Wow, you guys are almost the same age range as my gf and I; she's 20, and I turn 25 next month.

You guys will be in a slightly different situation than I though; my gf has been deaf from birth, doesn't vocalise, and doesn't read lips. Our relationship is very deaf-centric in that we communicate mostly through sign, though we occationally will sit and write or type too.

Our first official date was to a coffee house, where we just sat and signed for an hour and a half, and then we rented a movie. But, we'd known each other for almost two years, and had already become friends, so we didn't have as much introductory stuff to talk about on that first date. But yeah, definitely do something where you guys can talk and actually get to know each other.
 
Magatsu said:
sbeards19, out of curious... have you actually 'seen' what that guy looks like and all?
Click to expand...
Yes... I have I have seen his picture and his webcam and he is very cute :)
 
ksbsnowowl said:
Wow, you guys are almost the same age range as my gf and I; she's 20, and I turn 25 next month.

You guys will be in a slightly different situation than I though; my gf has been deaf from birth, doesn't vocalise, and doesn't read lips. Our relationship is very deaf-centric in that we communicate mostly through sign, though we occationally will sit and write or type too.

Our first official date was to a coffee house, where we just sat and signed for an hour and a half, and then we rented a movie. But, we'd known each other for almost two years, and had already become friends, so we didn't have as much introductory stuff to talk about on that first date. But yeah, definitely do something where you guys can talk and actually get to know each other.
Click to expand...
Yeah...I am 20 in October and he is 25 in July. He is a nice guy..I cant wait to meet in person. We have only known each other since 6/5/05 but I feel like I have known him forever..We can just talk for hours and not even realize what time it is lol. I think something were we can talk and get to know each other is good too. Maybe coffee place or something **even though I dont drink coffee its probably a good place to talk.** I actually told him about this site b/c he had never heard of it...so now he can read/respond to the post people write with my post. He is most certainly a wonderful guy from what I have talked to him and I think meeting in person will be great.
 
Sbeards, you seem very prepared and willing. And a bit careful, too, given you two have only met recently. I think all these are very healthy things to be. I don't think you need our approval. :)

These links may help you in your quest.

www.deaflibrary.org/asl.html
www.handspeak.com/
www.signingonline.com/
http://commtechlab.msu.edu/sites/aslweb/

And a little fun something:
http://www.deafnewspaper.com/deafmovies/index.html
Some of these short films are really funny with middleaged deaf men from Texas or somewhere like that.

Oh, and I'm a deaf American happily married to a hearing Norwegian man. We met on line and now I live in Norway with him. We've been together for 5 years now, and our families & friends know how we met and how good we are for each other. It'll be allright, just live your lives the way you want them to be lived; within your integrity and happiness.
 
Magatsu said:
Take it real slow. Walk in the park. Or as cental34 said, bowling... but make sure that you guys have more time for talking... talk about everything to know each other bit more. Go to any place where many people are and do not go to the theater or rent the movie to watch... because it will eat up a lot of time which you guys should use the time for chatting. Eating at nice restaurant will be nice since it offers you guys the perfect environment and opportunity to talk and talk.

Good luck!
Click to expand...
I know we are taking it slow its not like we are meeting tomorrow. I wont meet him at least for month or so b/c thats just what I do for online thing. I need to take the time to get to know him . And I know to be carefull and watchfull but I have seen his webcam so hes who he says . well I have to go to work I will be back at 4 so I hope I have lots to read :)
 
Liza said:
Sbeards, you seem very prepared and willing. And a bit careful, too, given you two have only met recently. I think all these are very healthy things to be. I don't think you need our approval. :)

These links may help you in your quest.

www.deaflibrary.org/asl.html
www.handspeak.com/
www.signingonline.com/
http://commtechlab.msu.edu/sites/aslweb/

And a little fun something:
http://www.deafnewspaper.com/deafmovies/index.html
Some of these short films are really funny with middleaged deaf men from Texas or somewhere like that.

Oh, and I'm a deaf American happily married to a hearing Norwegian man. We met on line and now I live in Norway with him. We've been together for 5 years now, and our families & friends know how we met and how good we are for each other. It'll be allright, just live your lives the way you want them to be lived; within your integrity and happiness.
Click to expand...
Thank you :) I am very cautious and carefull and I think things will work out good for me and him . He is very sweet and nice ... I have to go to work so I am sry I did not write more I will finish later :)
 
sbeardsmmiller said:
I have love her ever since I am talk to her yesterday and I am still the same person and online and in peron and sbeards is my gf and will always be I am here first and last to search for happy ever after ending story.
Click to expand...

Hi, many many warm welcomes to Alldeaf!
One tip if I may share with you as a deaf person in a relationship to hearing person to another in the same situation... Treat this lady respectfully - she is not a thing to be owned either. No human being can be owned. Treat yourself wonderfully, too!

I'm sorry if I seem a bit harsh, and I don't know you so please don't take it personally... thought I'd give the gift of a more smooth sail riding at the beginning :)

Hearing/deaf relationships can work, if both partners treat each other with respect and kindness. That's a must for all other relationships, too, in my opinion.
 
Amen!!!!!

Liza said:
Treat this lady respectfully - she is not a thing to be owned either. No human being can be owned. Treat yourself wonderfully, too!
Click to expand...
 
Liza said:
Hi, many many warm welcomes to Alldeaf!
One tip if I may share with you as a deaf person in a relationship to hearing person to another in the same situation... Treat this lady respectfully - she is not a thing to be owned either. No human being can be owned. Treat yourself wonderfully, too!

I'm sorry if I seem a bit harsh, and I don't know you so please don't take it personally... thought I'd give the gift of a more smooth sail riding at the beginning :)

Hearing/deaf relationships can work, if both partners treat each other with respect and kindness. That's a must for all other relationships, too, in my opinion.
Click to expand...
I am sure he knows that and I really am hopefull that things will work out for me and him. Meeting is the next step once we are comfortable with meeting and everything. When is the right time to meet? We met 6/5/05 so any hints as to when we should meet ?? I am glad I came to this website b/c I have got a lot of good information from all of you and I hope you will all continue to keep giving me the good information:) On the other hand I had someone private message me saying to be Cautious and Weary of him and I odnt know why , b/c he is who he says.... ive seen his picture and his webcam and his phone number and address are confirmed the same :)
 
I am basically in the same position as you. I am in love with a deaf guy and he happens to be my teacher. He is the sweetest guy. I just don't know what to expect of him and what he expects of me. He has done some work on my house for me and we've been together a couple of times, even went out, but then he disappears. I won't see him for about two weeks. If I don't text message him, he gets worried, but he doesn't answer me when I do. He is also a workaholic. He came to see me at work yesterday because I had text messaged him on Saturday that I needed to talk to him. He never showed up here and then shows up yesterday all worried about me and why I didn't text message him again. Is this behavior normal in the deaf community or is it just him being a guy?
 
katie2d said:
Is this behavior normal in the deaf community or is it just him being a guy?
Click to expand...
Former one but no one can afford to generalize that one. To not offend you but I guess, he is one of 'certain' men who would do that to women. I hope I am wrong though.

btw, welcome to the AD community and I hope you'll enjoy your stay around here!
icon14.gif
 
Last edited:
Help Me !

Hello everyone, I am not sure what to say to my parents . I want to tell them about Matt..... but Im afraid of what they will think and all that.... any help from anyone would be greatly appreciated
 
Back
Top