Dating Cycle

Lil_country_gal

Lil_country_gal

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I'm sick of putting myself into this dating cycle. All i can see to attract is guys who are controling and abusive. It feels like it's all i can find. All my friends tell me i'm this great girl and I deserve better i know i deserve better but i can't seem to find better. I try and be patient and just wait and than this guy who seems so nice comes along and we start dating and than they all turn into some jacka$$. Has anyone been in this cycle before. I need to get out of this cycle before it hurts me i'm just really not sure how. I'm open to any ideas right now i know i'm in trouble and i know i need help.
 
Did you give in to demands too easily? Have you played a little "hard to get"? Are you desperate?

More questions but need those answers to find out the problem first....
 
i never been using dating cycles how you hear about this?

my boyfriend wont let me using dating online because more scams or whatevers on dating online says.

im been dating my boyfriend for months and more trust him i never let him go so im still kept him yahoo online chat all the times because my boyfriend always so busy and im send him message online and he got online sometimes.
 
I have never been in this cylce cuz having a boyfriend wasnt that important to me when I was your age. Softball and getting a softball scholarship was the most important thing to me.

I started dating my ex hubby at the age of 17 and it went great. We got married at 21 ..too young and divorced at 28. After my divorce, I DID not want a relationship. I wanted to live life and get to know myself since my identity was always with my ex since I was a kid. Wanted to grow on my own so I dated for 5 years without any serious committments. It was fun and I enjoyed it. When I felt ready to settle down, I just didnt think about "looking" for the perfect guy...just stopped dating cuz I got bored with it. Then my hubby and I fell in love so here I am.

My best friend was always desperate and could never been without a boyfriend so she was always landing in bad relationships..even now she is very unhappy in her marriage.

Maybe if u stop worrying about having a boyfriend and focus on other things, u wont have this problem?
 
i sometimes get in dating cycle that i always get attracted to jerks and wrong guys

oh well
 
I think I am there too. I got married way too young, my ex was the worst kind of asshole and manipulator you could imagine, and I was too naive and immature. I tried sticking the marriage out for 'sake of the baby' but in the end it did just did not work out. 2 months after my divorce was finalized I started dating another guy on and off for the last 2 years. Then last night he tells me he cheated on me when we dated solidly for the last 10 months. Then it hit me, that one I was bored with him and two I realized I absolutely could do ten times better. I think I dated him out of fear of being isolated.

Now I want to take a break from dating for at least 5 years to get settled down and get to know myself a little bit better since I really have not given myself that opportunity yet. I need to get the slow lane for a while.

Ive also noticed I'll be close to someone for two years then break it off for whatever reason. Alot of the reasons are related to boredom. I need someone who's willing to be more adventurous but also not so risky that he's a time bomb waiting to go off.
 
Yeah, I know that feelin'. I just couldn't stand a man who keep talkin' about other people's problem that he don't get along with. It turns me off big time and I don't want anythin' to do with this man. I am tired of listenin' to all this crap repeatly. And, of course it pushes me off to somewhere else where I prefer to be alone for awhile.

I tried to avoid " stress out " as much as I can since I know it could be very annoyin'. When I am bein' alone, I find myself more peace and enjoy my life without a man's problem in my life. I guess, I grew up bein' independent and have my own mind. I don't mind goin' out with friends and enjoy things together like picnic, campin', and such. But, with a man in relationship... gee, there's always a compromisin' and work on problem, if there's some disagreement. Blaah

I like to have a peace of mind and care-free alone. It's why I don't want to marry. For me datin' is ok, but not relationship. ;)
 
Thanks everyone. I'm really tired of it like last night i was having a party with some of my friends at my house no big deal. Till my ex calls saying that i'm some Sl^t and No good and To piss me off he's gonna date me best friend because she's better at least he thinks but he's gonna do it just to piss me off or to really make it worse he's going to go date my ex fiance (this one i don't care about) and don't even bother telling my best friend she won't believe me and he's gonna use her. Well thankfully she did listen to me and i wasn't the only one at my party who heard all this so if she asks anyone there they will all back me up. This guy is horrible he wouldn't even let me go on the church mission trip because i can't bring my cell phone with. That's when i said screw this and left. and now he's still comming after me with stuff. Although i had a couple friends tell him off lastnight so hopefully he won't bother me for awhile.
 
Understood, believe me... if your smart enough. Forget the idea of "dating" becase right guy will fall in before you know it. So, it is best to think that you don't need a guy after all. Good things will come to you. If you try too hard, your likely to look in wrong direction.

Whenever I wasn't thinking of anyone to date with and stick with my gf. I ended up met several wonderful women. I kept telling myself Im not going anywhere, more still coming! Oh well.
 
diehardbiker said:
Understood, believe me... if your smart enough. Forget the idea of "dating" becase right guy will fall in before you know it. So, it is best to think that you don't need a guy after all. Good things will come to you. If you try too hard, your likely to look in wrong direction.

Whenever I wasn't thinking of anyone to date with and stick with my gf. I ended up met several wonderful women. I kept telling myself Im not going anywhere, more still coming! Oh well.
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That's the hard part i was talking about this with one of my good friends that they say love comes to you when you least expect it but than once you know that you try not to except it but are always hoping and wishing and trying to expect it to happen so if that makes any sense?
 
Oh yes, not easy. Treat them as just "friend" to begin with.

Lil_country_gal said:
That's the hard part i was talking about this with one of my good friends that they say love comes to you when you least expect it but than once you know that you try not to except it but are always hoping and wishing and trying to expect it to happen so if that makes any sense?
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diehardbiker said:
Oh yes, not easy. Treat them as just "friend" to begin with.
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Oh yeah one of my good friends heard about all of this and we were talking he goes you know i'm single and i was like ok so... and than he was going to come to the party last night but didn't get back into town in time so he asked me if he could make it up by taking me this friday on a picnic on a lake side to watch the sunset. It's really romantic and i'm tempted but i don't know if i'm ready and but i'm afraid to turn him down. and I don't know he has never treated me bad as a friend and we've been friends for over 4 years.
 
Don't feel bad about it.

Everyone is different. There is no "best" method for finding a perfect guy... just be yourself and think with your mind and your heart.

When looking for a guy, go with what you feel and what you think about that person.

If you feel uncomfortable with someone or don't see yourself with that person in the future, then move on.

I'm still single. The last girlfriend I had was a wonderful experience for me. Sadly, we didn't last long enough to get married or anything.
 
Vampy some how don't know how that gave me this big relief I guess maybe i will go on this date what could it hurt it's one date and if the date doesn't work out than it was a good night with a good friend
 
It takes a long time to get to know someone. People are hiding thier bad traits especially when in love and trying to impress other. And jealousy can come out of nowhere.....some people flakey when a problem. give it time. you will find that many guys can be possesive. ha then you can find that some women are really flakey and flirt around thinking nothing of it.
My opinion is that it takes 2 1/2 years to get to know someone well. At least. More like 3 1/2.
 
Maybe you could learn to enjoy being Single - I know this is not easy and not a practical solution in the long run! But enjoying being single in the short run has plenty of benefits - you get to meet new people, make better friends, get into new activities, improve your career/life in many ways, etc. And when the timing is right, you never know you just might get someone who fits your criteria best.

This is just from my experience - I am HOH and was rejected by 12 girls over time because of my handicap!!! I think I hold a record!! haha... But, I have given it up for the time being to sort out my life and make myself better in many ways. So far, it has helped - I have been enjoying my single status for last 2 years!
 
hugoboss84 said:
Maybe you could learn to enjoy being Single - I know this is not easy and not a practical solution in the long run! But enjoying being single in the short run has plenty of benefits - you get to meet new people, make better friends, get into new activities, improve your career/life in many ways, etc. And when the timing is right, you never know you just might get someone who fits your criteria best.

This is just from my experience - I am HOH and was rejected by 12 girls over time because of my handicap!!! I think I hold a record!! haha... But, I have given it up for the time being to sort out my life and make myself better in many ways. So far, it has helped - I have been enjoying my single status for last 2 years!
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:gpost:

I am so glad I got the experience of being single for 4 years. It helped me to get to know myself and to grow a lot and not to be codependent on a man. Before my divorce, I couldnt imagine being single but once I experienced it, I am glad to know that I can stand strong on my feet. :)
 
Perfect is a relative term. My gf thinks I'm perfect, but I'm flawed to hell. I have my moments when I'm a great guy, but also well yeah. I'm human, really!
 
I'll tell you one thing, Relationship sucks it seems like every guy has something to say that sweep you off your feet and then a week or two or a month later they turn into someone totally the opposite as what you thought he'll be. I'm not that desperate in dating or going in another relationship, I've had enough with guys who say one thing and say another, so screw the dating department I'm better off being single it's much safer that way take my word for it. :thumb:
 
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