Cussing with your kids?

nightcrickets said:
If they listen to their other friend's advice, maybe they will consider your advice too.
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True..I will keep that in mind.

Thanks everyone for the advice, suggestions and feedback. Iam meeting one of the couples WITHOUT kids this Friday. Iam nervous cuz I HATE confrontations..grr but it is time.

*cross my fingers*
 
nightcrickets said:
If they listen to their other friend's advice, maybe they will consider your advice too.
Click to expand...

True..I will keep that in mind.

Thanks everyone for the advice, suggestions and feedback. Iam meeting one of the couples WITHOUT kids this Friday. Iam nervous cuz I HATE confrontations..grr but it is time.

*cross my fingers*
 
Shel, this is really bizzare to me but, based on what you have said about these people, I think your'e in a tight spot there as to what to do. Maybe one of the things you can hang your hat on when you talk to them is that since they've said that cussing, etc is only done within the family, etc, maybe let them know the rule has been broken and that you resent the exposure to your self and your kids. I know you will do it gently but I don't envy you......
 
shel90 said:
True..I will keep that in mind.

Thanks everyone for the advice, suggestions and feedback. Iam meeting one of the couples WITHOUT kids this Friday. Iam nervous cuz I HATE confrontations..grr but it is time.

*cross my fingers*
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A face-to-face meeting without children around to impress your feeling and thought is great but not make unfriendly impression toward her, case she might see you as a hostile person.

Good Luck :thumb:
 
Parents’ values

Before dealing with a child's swearing, both parents need to talk about their own values about swearing, what they think is OK and what they think is not OK.

In some families one parent swears and the other does not, or one parent disapproves of swearing while the other does not – this gives mixed messages to the children.

Some families think it is OK for adults to swear but not for children – this too gives mixed messages to the children.

Families have different words that they disapprove of – some families do not mind any swear words except those that refer to sex; other families do not accept swearing about their religion or God.

Raising Children Network | Swearing

I personally don't think it is ok for parents to teach their children to cuss or say inappropriate any words. I find it very disrespectful. I can understand how you feel, Shel. I hope you will find a solution for you and your friends. The best thing is to set a good example for your children and your friends. Shel, I admire you when you approached your child why cussing is not ok? Your child answered its bad. I like that in you. Hope everything will be ok with you and your friends. Good luck! *hugs*
 
Personally, I can see the problems with having children cuss at their parents, or whatnot...

But if parents are not open and honest with the kids about which words, or statements are not good to say, then kids will not know what is good or bad. Some parents are more liberal than others.. I think it mainly depends on how the parent feels is the best way to teach their children. Some parents might think it's approriate to swear with their children, where others don't. Personally, I find it wrong to allow your children to swear.. but we all have to remember that when the children are adults, they might start swearing or using bad langauge, despite their parents teaching them it is wrong. I know I've done it. I'm sure we've all done it..
 
Later, kids become pre-teen or teenage, they would cussing to parents. That's hurt.
 
I think if the parent encourage them to cuss, they are not teaching them how to express their feelings to their peers. Those kids will only express it the way they know how.
 
An informal discussion of this very same issue came up in our staff meeting Thursday. Apparently the school administrator heard several parents cussing with their kids and they laughed when the kids cussed back. A friend of mine called her mother and was saying things like, "Are you fucking crazy?" - not in a mean way but apparently this is how they talk to each other- and have been since she was in middle school. I stopped her right then and there (putting my nose in her business, so to speak) and told her that was inappropriate and she should show respect to her mother, etc. She was kind of shocked at my reaction (I came down a little harsher than I meant to) and said that this is how they talk to each other. I told her that was a shame - and she needed to make an effort not to do it anymore. Two wrongs don't make a right, blah blah blah.

:( What the hell is wrong with people nowdays?! I will not tolerate profanity from a child, period. And I will never allow my own children address me with profanity. I know my language is not, ahem, the best - but I never use it around children or teenagers.
 
deafbajagal said:
An informal discussion of this very same issue came up in our staff meeting Thursday. Apparently the school administrator heard several parents cussing with their kids and they laughed when the kids cussed back. A friend of mine called her mother and was saying things like, "Are you fucking crazy?" - not in a mean way but apparently this is how they talk to each other- and have been since she was in middle school. I stopped her right then and there (putting my nose in her business, so to speak) and told her that was inappropriate and she should show respect to her mother, etc. She was kind of shocked at my reaction (I came down a little harsher than I meant to) and said that this is how they talk to each other. I told her that was a shame - and she needed to make an effort not to do it anymore. Two wrongs don't make a right, blah blah blah.

:( What the hell is wrong with people nowdays?! I will not tolerate profanity from a child, period. And I will never allow my own children address me with profanity. I know my language is not, ahem, the best - but I never use it around children or teenagers.[/QUOTE]

I totally am with you on this. And, I can really understand why Shel is/was mystified by that couple.

Like you, my language can be quite colorful. I don't mince words and will "let fly" with four-letter words at will. However, when I am around my school age niece and nephew, I do not swear. We've also tough them that bad language is not be tolerated from them. Even when I am chatting, I let my friends know that the kids are around and they need to keep the discussion kid friendly.
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I think the problem is that the parents think it is bonding and making them buddies with kids. The main job of parents is to help children grow up with good values and set good example. Not to be their child's best friend.
 
I don't want my family cussing in front of her or me cussing around her. I don't want my daughter to be influence by cussing. But I won't allow my child to cuss and talk back to me. But you have to beware that children can still pick up cussing and bad words from other people, schools, friends, other kids, even movies, and musics have cussing. But I agree with Joile 150 % with everything she says. :)
 
deafbajagal said:
An informal discussion of this very same issue came up in our staff meeting Thursday. Apparently the school administrator heard several parents cussing with their kids and they laughed when the kids cussed back. A friend of mine called her mother and was saying things like, "Are you fucking crazy?" - not in a mean way but apparently this is how they talk to each other- and have been since she was in middle school. I stopped her right then and there (putting my nose in her business, so to speak) and told her that was inappropriate and she should show respect to her mother, etc. She was kind of shocked at my reaction (I came down a little harsher than I meant to) and said that this is how they talk to each other. I told her that was a shame - and she needed to make an effort not to do it anymore. Two wrongs don't make a right, blah blah blah.

:( What the hell is wrong with people nowdays?! I will not tolerate profanity from a child, period. And I will never allow my own children address me with profanity. I know my language is not, ahem, the best - but I never use it around children or teenagers.
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I agree. It often begins with the parents.

While I do cuss with my friends, I've learned to use it at appropriate times and not to abuse it.

I think cussing should be like drinking... earned as a privilege.

Yes, I have a right to drink... but that doesn't mean I should drink myself dumb. I should drink responsibly.

That goes with cussing. They should be used responsibly.

My parents don't cuss. They don't believe in cussing. (Something to do with their religious beliefs.) So, I respect that and don't cuss in front of them. If I had kids that were cussing, I would tell them to stop. If they cussed in front of my parents, then I would punish them since doing it in front of my parents is far worse than in front of me. :nono:
 
Well...I havent been hanging out with that couple as much as before in the past year due to being so busy or whatever. Finally, I went to the beach with them yesterday..didnt see any cussing. Seemed like they were back to their old selves before the whole cussing thing started. Their kids didnt cuss at all during the day. Hmmm...


I refused to cuss with or around my kids. I dont cuss that much to begin with anyway.
 
When I was growing up, cuss words were not allowed and I picked it up from my friends in Middle school...then through out High school I cussed a lot with my friends but never around my parents b/c I know I'll get into huge trouble.

My soon to be husband grew up same away and we both cuss a lot, even our friends cusses, it's normal for us. And we even cuss around our kids, like "Oh fuck, I forgot my purse" or "Shit, I'm late for work" or "That due is fucking Crazy."

It's like having normal converstiaon, and His 13 year old daughter knows that she's not allowed to cuss at all and she hasn't said any cuss words, she grew up with her father cussing all the time. Now our two year old son hears it all the time and he still haven't said any bad word. Preston and I believe that if our kids are used to hearing the words, they most likely wouldn't say it because they used to hearing from their parents. It's not so forbidden like it was for Preston and I as we were growing up.
 
~*Kaelei*~ said:
When I was growing up, cuss words were not allowed and I picked it up from my friends in Middle school...then through out High school I cussed a lot with my friends but never around my parents b/c I know I'll get into huge trouble.

My soon to be husband grew up same away and we both cuss a lot, even our friends cusses, it's normal for us. And we even cuss around our kids, like "Oh fuck, I forgot my purse" or "Shit, I'm late for work" or "That due is fucking Crazy."

It's like having normal converstiaon, and His 13 year old daughter knows that she's not allowed to cuss at all and she hasn't said any cuss words, she grew up with her father cussing all the time. Now our two year old son hears it all the time and he still haven't said any bad word. Preston and I believe that if our kids are used to hearing the words, they most likely wouldn't say it because they used to hearing from their parents. It's not so forbidden like it was for Preston and I as we were growing up.
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It was the same with me... from my friends at school.

I never cussed. I did hear a couple on television and asked my parents what they said, but my mom would not tell me... or my dad would tell me, but explain that it was a bad word.

For instance, I was watching Three's Company on television with my mom. One guy (played by Don Knotts) said, "Oh... my... God!" I didn't understand it at first, so I asked my mom. She refused to tell me for it was "Using the Lord's name in vain." When I was 16 years old, my dad started taking me to R-rated movies (only if he approved of it). I was already learning bad words in elementary school and from my own little brother. Heh!
 
I agree cussing shouldn't be used with children or around them. I believe it reflects very poorly on you as a parent if you encourage your kids to swear at you without batting an eyelash and swearing at them or around them.
 
It makes me wonder what kind of schools some people attended. I went to public schools in various states around the country, various economic neighborhoods, and I never heard all that swearing or vulgar language.
 
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