Hi,
First, you need to create keyword meta tags for your website. Those are what the spiders, in general, look for after you submit your website to search engines. For example, AllDeaf.com has the following keyword meta tags:
<meta name="keywords" content="vbulletin,forum,bbs,discussion,bulletin board,deaf,deaf culture,deafness,deaf president now,deaf education,deaf people,deaf community,deaf schools,deaf news,deaf history,deaf way,deaf chat,deaf forums,deaf forum,deaf studies,deaf blind,school for the deaf,deaf awareness,deaf society,sign language,asl,deaf sports,deaf events,deaf issues,deaf technology,deaf jobs,deaf clubs,deaf parties,deaf and hard of hearing,deaf life,deaf directory,deaf olympics,interpreters for the deaf,deaf parents,deaf children,deaf movies,deaf match,deaf singles,deaf business,deaf hosting,deaf expo,deaf exposition,deaf awareness, all deaf, all deaf forums,deaf talk,deaf forums" />
If you need help finding the right keywords for your website, I would suggest going to
http://www.content.overture.com/d/USm/adcenter/tools/index.jhtml - click on the Term Suggestion Tool and type in a term that represents your website.
There are many ways to get members to your website. Spreading the word through friends is very helpful. That's how AllDeaf got its members. But do not go around and spam your website, that's a no-no. Submitting your site to search engines and have the spiders come and crawl takes a couple of weeks. You may also promote your site through newsgroups for a small fee, if not for free. I once paid $10 to advertise AllDeaf.com through a popular deaf newsgroup and it helped my site grow.
There are free forum softwares out there such Invision Board and phpBB that do not have ads by default. If you want free web hosting, I can hook you up only if you can display a small reciprocal link. (That also goes to anyone out there who wants to create a positive website but cannot afford paid web hosting) Just let me know if you're interested.
Hope that helps.