Considering divorce, im hearing, married to deaf

diehardbiker said:
Maybe a good clarification is needed here. You could ask for help over the Internet, but when it comes to personal, not everybody is on same page, and may give bad advices with or without realizing that it is bad one for others, which I called BS, it does not necessarily mean they are liar all the time. They might think whatever helps them would helps other which is not always the case.

Would you depend on Internet for personal counseling or in real person with certified counselor for counseling needs?
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depend? that's quite an assumption.
 
handle-the-truth.gif
 
Ugh! Every time I attempt to respond I write a lot and then it says all deaf has a problem and it closes the app!! And i lose everthing I typed!

Sent from my SCH-R530U using AllDeaf App mobile app
 
What I am trying to say is I understand there are two sides to a story. My husband is a good guy...with mostly good intentions...but he has put me through a lot and now that I am at a crossroads im trying to understand if the reason ive been holding on so long is bc I feel the need to take care of him despite taking care of myself

Sent from my SCH-R530U using AllDeaf App mobile app
 
My husband and I have a lot of problems right?? Well a wonderful way to fix problems is to talk about them...communication. well THAT is our number one problem. Half the time the message I am trying to send to him via asl or signed english is not received correctly by him.

Sent from my SCH-R530U using AllDeaf App mobile app
 
Resulting in frustration and massive misunderstandings. So tell me...how do we acknowledge and fix a problem if we cannot EVEN get our points accross. I cant use examples or speak literally. He gets lost. I have to be careful of what words I use bc he may not understand it...but he won't tell me he didnt understand it!

Sent from my SCH-R530U using AllDeaf App mobile app
 
Like one time we went to a therapist and my husband was pissed bc the guy claimed to speak asl but really he only finger spelled. So my husband couldn't REALLY get the message. I tried interpreting but even then the message was not taken in.

Just now I was trying to talk to my husband about issues and my feelings on out marriage and I get the feeling he was like a deer in headlights. He just stared at my while my hands buzzed around. I told him at one point " it feels like our love has died"

Sent from my SCH-R530U using AllDeaf App mobile app
 
MissPretty27 said:
What I am trying to say is I understand there are two sides to a story. My husband is a good guy...with mostly good intentions...but he has put me through a lot and now that I am at a crossroads im trying to understand if the reason ive been holding on so long is bc I feel the need to take care of him despite taking care of myself

Sent from my SCH-R530U using AllDeaf App mobile app
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Do think you are being co dependent on your husband ? This can happen in there kind of relationships , you could take time out to do something just for yourself , like take a trip with good friend or by yourself . Take care of number one and that is you.
 
When marrying him, does it comes in with owners manual? I am sure you can find answer in owners manual anyway, right?
 
And he took me liberally and said. So thats it! Our LOVE is dead. So we divorce. And I said no! Im saying it FEELS like. Dont you understand that? Im not saying were done...im saying this is how I feel about our love. But again...he only sees it one way...and thats how the entirety of our marriage has been. A ball of misinterpretation and misunderstanding. So whats next? Were chasing our tail, I fear. And at this point I feel like im being cruel to expect him to understand all the things I try to explain to him.


Sent from my SCH-R530U using AllDeaf App mobile app
 
MissPretty27 said:
And he took me liberally and said. So thats it! Our LOVE is dead. So we divorce. And I said no! Im saying it FEELS like. Dont you understand that? Im not saying were done...im saying this is how I feel about our love. But again...he only sees it one way...and thats how the entirety of our marriage has been. A ball of misinterpretation and misunderstanding. So whats next? Were chasing our tail, I fear. And at this point I feel like im being cruel to expect him to understand all the things I try to explain to him.


Sent from my SCH-R530U using AllDeaf App mobile app
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No you're not being cruel for wanting your husband to understand your feeling but you my never get him to understand them if he does not want to . Have you thought trying to get some help , of course you know both have to want safe the marriage.
 
MissPretty27 said:
And he took me liberally and said. So thats it! Our LOVE is dead. So we divorce. And I said no! Im saying it FEELS like. Dont you understand that? Im not saying were done...im saying this is how I feel about our love. But again...he only sees it one way...and thats how the entirety of our marriage has been. A ball of misinterpretation and misunderstanding. So whats next? Were chasing our tail, I fear. And at this point I feel like im being cruel to expect him to understand all the things I try to explain to him.


Sent from my SCH-R530U using AllDeaf App mobile app
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If you can try to find a marriage counselor or therapist that can actually use ASL ... if he's willing to go then both of you go ... if not you go to a therapist yourself to see if they can help you work out the problems or find the appropriate resources to help.

The rest of you simmer down maybe this is the girls way starting to reach out for help on what to do to either try and save her marriage or move on from it.
 
MissPretty27 said:
Like one time we went to a therapist and my husband was pissed bc the guy claimed to speak asl but really he only finger spelled. So my husband couldn't REALLY get the message. I tried interpreting but even then the message was not taken in.

Just now I was trying to talk to my husband about issues and my feelings on out marriage and I get the feeling he was like a deer in headlights. He just stared at my while my hands buzzed around. I told him at one point " it feels like our love has died"

Sent from my SCH-R530U using AllDeaf App mobile app
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Seems like you took a one way trip on a dead end street. Sounds like he isnt trying to make things work or doesnt want it to work. So if its one sided, there is nothing to save.
 
ncff07 said:
If you can try to find a marriage counselor or therapist that can actually use ASL ... if he's willing to go then both of you go ... if not you go to a therapist yourself to see if they can help you work out the problems or find the appropriate resources to help.

The rest of you simmer down maybe this is the girls way starting to reach out for help on what to do to either try and save her marriage or move on from it.
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What are you talking about and who made you boss of this thread? I am being supported to her and if you can't see that you need to simmer down!
 
whatdidyousay! said:
What are you talking about and who made you boss of this thread? I am being supported to her and if you can't see that you need to simmer down!
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Actually I wasn't referring to you I was referring to Jiro and DHB bickering back and forth about off topic stuff.
 
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