Completely Lost...

deafdrummer said:
It begs a few questions, your experience. Why didn't they do a simple hearing test to determine if she was going deaf? That's what was used to determine that I was deaf, a tuning fork and an audiogram (I don't remember how the 'gram was done, since I didn't have language, just a few words. I don't think they were using ABR on older children, though I vaguely remember being in a medical facility and having wires on my head. I can't tell if that really happened or not. How did they determine the type of deafness in the early 70s? And how can I today ask for clear, incontrovertible proof that I have nerve deafness and not something with the bones of the ear?

Your daughter's behavior might be fear and panic at the loss of her hearing. It sounds like she gets angry because she's being reminded of something she's losing. She will have to come to the point of grieving this loss and heal from this. I know what this was like. Between 3 and 5 years old, I would open Gray's Anatomy book and go to the cellophane pages, get Mom's attention, and when she wasn't getting it, I would get frustrated and cry myself to sleep on top of the book. I gave up around 5, and it wouldn't be determined that I was deaf until over two years later. I remember the "looking at the book part," but I don't remember crying myself to sleep on the book. Mom told me about that years later. Just too painful to try to remember. It's a bitch, I tell you, and it would help to get her into the school folks here are recommending. She has to know that this is not the end of the world, but a shift into a very different world.

Let us know how things turn out, I'm keeping this tab open until you let us know. Good luck and hang in there!
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Excellent idea!!!! Let her know that it's OK to be sad.... She was born hearing after all......That's very different from even being born HOH. But I think with proper adjustment and the right tools she'll adjust and be very happy etc....She will have the best of both worlds!
 
deafdyke said:
Are you afraid that you'll be the only hearing parent, trying to interact with a voice-off Deaf community? A lot of Deaf adults have had speech training before. And it can be sometimes hard for a hearing parent to fit in.....but there is a place for hearing parents in the Deaf community....You guys are welcome! You're doing the right things.....And heck, if hearing parents don't feel like they fit in with the Deaf community, imagine how dhh as kids adults , who weren't exposed to sign or Deaf schools/ed feel in the hearing world. They don't fit in with the hearing world, and they were very often denied the Deaf world.......I actually think they are going to be VERY excited to see a parent like you starting to get involved.
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I am not really afraid that I will be the only hearing parent (I think I read that 90% of dhh kids are born to hearing parents). Guess that's the other issue- I don't KNOW any HEARING parents of dhh kids either :). Like I said, I am really shy- so even meeting the hearing people will be a little tough. BUT, I am sure I will work it out- sometimes I just need a push to get me out of my shell, and if it is something for my kids and their happiness and well being, that is usually all the push I will need.

And I definitely get that it is must be hard for dhh kids/adults who have been isolated from the Deaf community. That is the other thing I am worrying about- giving her enough exposure to the Deaf community. (Not only am I shy, but I am quite the worrier too- what a combination!! :giggle:) Well, all in time I guess. Earlier is better but I don't have to go 90 to nothing the first day out :).
 
And I definitely get that it is must be hard for dhh kids/adults who have been isolated from the Deaf community. That is the other thing I am worrying about- giving her enough exposure to the Deaf community
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You're an AWESOME mom!!!!!!!! I can't tell you what an amazing change of pace it is, to hear a parent say " I really want my dhh kid to have a lot of exposure to the Deaf community."
 
i banging my head,my daughter got important hospital appointment friday,i arrange for terp and facillitator 4weeks ago told me get contact again when get appointment my husband did,and surprise no record of doing 4 weeks ago and can not be done by friday,i could cry so fucked off with these idiots
 
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