Coming Out

Foxrac

Foxrac

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Coming out may not always be easy. One father, who overheard his son on the phone discussing his intentions to reveal his sexuality, eased his child's worries by writing him the best note ever.

FCKH8.com, an equal rights organization, first posted the touching letter to Facebook on Friday morning. In the note, the father explains he overheard his son, Nate, talking on the phone about coming out. But the father tells him there is no need -- he already knew, and he never cared.

"I've known you were gay since you were six," the father writes. "I've loved you since you were born."

He also added a sweet postscript, "Your mom and I think you and Mike make a cute couple."

Father's note to son, courtesy of FCKH8.com. Story continues below.
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Also in the news Friday was an announcement of from Sen. Rob Portman (R-Ohio) about his gay son's coming out and how it changed his opinion on marriage equality.

The conservative Portman revealed he changed his opinion of same-sex marriage two years ago when his son, Will, came out to him and his wife. "It allowed me to think of this issue from a new perspective, and that's of a Dad who loves his son a lot and wants him to have the same opportunities that his brother and sister would have -- to have a relationship like Jane and I have had for over 26 years," Portman said during an interview with Ohio reporters.

These aren't the only moving coming out stories to make headlines recently.

In January, a 15-year-old girl named Laurel used a cake to come out to her parents. Along with a message in icing that read "I'm gay," the girl left a note asking for her parents' acceptance. Not only did she get it, but they all got to enjoy her baked dish.

That same month, Jacob Rudolph, a New Jersey teen, came out to his parents along with his entire class, as LGBT at his high school graduation. After being named "Class Actor," Rudolph delivered a speech to his family and peers, saying, "So take me, leave me or move me out of the way, because I am what I am, and that's how I'm going to act from now on."

Dad's Note To Gay Son About Coming Out Might Make You Cry (PHOTO)
 
I came out when I was 14 years old and my mother accepted with some questions, however my father wasn't comfortable so he accepted eventually.

I was unclear about between gay and bisexual, so finally, I'm bisexual because of attraction to man and woman, however I had few changes to straight but didn't work at all. I learned that sexual orientation isn't choice, though.
 
:thumb: That's a good post. More parents are accepting it than before. Times change and so do people. That's why I support marriage equality (same-sex marriage).
 
Life slowly gets better for gay people, as more people realize it is not really a matter of choice, but biology.
 
Bottesini said:
Life slowly gets better for gay people, as more people realize it is not really a matter of choice, but biology.
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Yes, the GLBT and genders are covered under my sociology class this week.
 
I saw this eariler! made me so happy to see such a supportive dad! :D

I've always felt comfortable with women, my first relationship was when I was 13, through my teen years I tried to date guys, I've had some good and some bad relationships, but in each relationship with guys I just felt something wasn't right, something was missing.

Last year, I met a woman (who is my current girlfriend) and once I knew we clicked, once I knew she was what I wanted I realized I couldn't live in the closet, not with her. She is very openly lesbian and the last thing I ever wanted to do was make her feel like I was hiding her from the world, from my family.

So, shaking, I got out my cell phone and was texting my mom:

me:"so... I'm going to meet up with my date tonight"
mom: "oh? tell me all about him!"
me: actually mom... its not a he, its a she... I did just wanted to let you know that theres a woman in my life and I know this might be awkward for you but I just felt you needed to know...."

I didn't get a text for 5 mins. Freaking out, about ready to cry thinking the very worse I text back:

me: "Mom..? Are you there..?"
mom: "Oh I'm sorry sweetie I'm just making lunch for myself. Whatever makes you happy princess! I don't care if you like purple penguins as long as your happy!"

I knew my cousins knew, my stepdad, my brother, but my mom was the one person I was afraid to tell. After all said and done, I felt amazing! Theres just a great feeling when you know your friends and family supports you and you don't have to hide anymore. For the longest time I thought maybe I'm bisexual, but I can honestly say I'm a lesbian. It just feels more right to me.
 
ladysolitary85 said:
I saw this eariler! made me so happy to see such a supportive dad! :D

I've always felt comfortable with women, my first relationship was when I was 13, through my teen years I tried to date guys, I've had some good and some bad relationships, but in each relationship with guys I just felt something wasn't right, something was missing.

Last year, I met a woman (who is my current girlfriend) and once I knew we clicked, once I knew she was what I wanted I realized I couldn't live in the closet, not with her. She is very openly lesbian and the last thing I ever wanted to do was make her feel like I was hiding her from the world, from my family.

So, shaking, I got out my cell phone and was texting my mom:

me:"so... I'm going to meet up with my date tonight"
mom: "oh? tell me all about him!"
me: actually mom... its not a he, its a she... I did just wanted to let you know that theres a woman in my life and I know this might be awkward for you but I just felt you needed to know...."

I didn't get a text for 5 mins. Freaking out, about ready to cry thinking the very worse I text back:

me: "Mom..? Are you there..?"
mom: "Oh I'm sorry sweetie I'm just making lunch for myself. Whatever makes you happy princess! I don't care if you like purple penguins as long as your happy!"

I knew my cousins knew, my stepdad, my brother, but my mom was the one person I was afraid to tell. After all said and done, I felt amazing! Theres just a great feeling when you know your friends and family supports you and you don't have to hide anymore. For the longest time I thought maybe I'm bisexual, but I can honestly say I'm a lesbian. It just feels more right to me.
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I came out to many of my families with some issue - my grandma won't accept me and she assume that bisexual is gay, so she feared that I will die from AIDS. I'm not stupid about safe sex and she was shock that I had a safe sex lesson that she didn't want me to know. She took me to conversion therapy and attempt to convert to straight, but went very messed and my family saved me from commit suicide because I had no way to escape from unpleasant world.

I still have deal with traumatic events about past and will never forgotten. :(
 
Foxrac said:
I came out to many of my families with some issue - my grandma won't accept me and she assume that bisexual is gay, so she feared that I will die from AIDS. I'm not stupid about safe sex and she was shock that I had a safe sex lesson that she didn't want me to know. She took me to conversion therapy and attempt to convert to straight, but went very messed and my family saved me from commit suicide because I had no way to escape from unpleasant world.

I still have deal with traumatic events about past and will never forgotten. :(
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That's really sad Fox I'm sorry :( I've heard lots of horror stories about some family members disowning their kids over it.

Just keep in mind that your not alone and that sometimes friends make the best family :) The world is changing in our favor. Hopefully one day, people can hold hands and not be question of their sexual origination or looked down upon.
 
I'm sorry to read this also, Foxrac...many LGBTQ friends and family members I know have similar or other cruel stories.

I don't know if that note by the dad is for real or not but I'd like to hope so.

I was in the 10% Society in college. I came out as bi over the course of a few years...first actually to the teacher I had in 9th grade homeroom..not sure exactly why but I tend to get feelings from people and by the time I came out my first year of college <I still kept in touch with many of my previous high school teachers for some years> I'd learned she was also the Learning Disabilities teacher <ironic considering I had her for homeroom for years and went un-diagnosed with LD> and so with that, I think I had the feeling she would be supportive - which she was. Then, my beloved "once-a-hippie" aunt, who marched in the 60's in San Fran; then I came out to my then-boyfriend at the time. That WAS a big discussion but we came through it...he's now my husband. Then my dad...that was about a 2 minute thing, that was fine. Over the years, I've come out to other people - all those who are my friends - because I only have open and kind-hearted friends...lastly to my mom. She is closest to "not getting it" but both my folks are overall "gay rights supportive"....it's just harder for my mom seeing this more closely in her own child...she doesn't believe I have LD either and that's a common thing with parents.
I'm actually pretty open about it and my family and most everyone I know is at least socially open-minded or VERY Left/Progressive so I'm not in a position where I have people who can't deal with it.
Coming from a social-activist/Jewish family where people are aware of and have experienced discrimination is helpful.
 
Foxrac said:
I came out when I was 14 years old and my mother accepted with some questions, however my father wasn't comfortable so he accepted eventually.

I was unclear about between gay and bisexual, so finally, I'm bisexual because of attraction to man and woman, however I had few changes to straight but didn't work at all. I learned that sexual orientation isn't choice, though.
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I think that is what is happening with my 16 year old daughter. She came out last year saying she is Bi but since then she has always dated girls. No interest in boys.

I wasn't sure if it was a passing phase or the real thing as most of my GLBT friends came out during the college years, not in high school.
 
shel90 said:
I think that is what is happening with my 16 year old daughter. She came out last year saying she is Bi but since then she has always dated girls. No interest in boys.

I wasn't sure if it was a passing phase or the real thing as most of my GLBT friends came out during the college years, not in high school.
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Well....I too have oftened wondered about my 16 yr. old son.....he's only "dated" girls that I know of...but just broke off with the last one...saying he "wanted to work on himself"....??....he hates to shave...says whenever he looks into the mirror, he hates his beard....only time will tell, I'm thinking....His brothers are very athletic...he is not...but loves to skateboard....
 
Coming out was more frightening than anything for me. Mostly due to worrying about how friends and family would be. So I fought against being me for years. Unhappily too, empty and rather blah.

I had a very good experience with it when I did. Last year, on my birthday at the club I let my close friends know and it turned out to be a very very good experience. The next day I let my family know. Scared out of my mind, but am now content and happy with being who I am.

I cannot imagine the nightmarish ordeal many others go through. But from those I know, it does get better :)
 
my husband came out in the late 90's wish he mention this detail before got married...times have changed for gays thank god.
robin dont worry most teenagers have it in hand before before they adults ..:)
If my husband had come out before,he would been true to himself and therefore me...believe it or not had two attempts to have children and it worked both times I dont know what would happened if not.but i can hazzard a guess
 
Devyn231 said:
Coming out was more frightening than anything for me. Mostly due to worrying about how friends and family would be. So I fought against being me for years. Unhappily too, empty and rather blah.

I had a very good experience with it when I did. Last year, on my birthday at the club I let my close friends know and it turned out to be a very very good experience. The next day I let my family know. Scared out of my mind, but am now content and happy with being who I am.

I cannot imagine the nightmarish ordeal many others go through. But from those I know, it does get better :)
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I completely get how you felt! My closest friends knew, very few family members knew but I was scared out of my mind of fully coming out. But I've always felt something was missing in my life because I wasn't living it how I should of. I almost even got married to a guy! Luckily he broke my heart (I did love him but I wasn't happy and the relationship was beyond unhealthy anyways but stayed true for 7 yrs) and I found myself again. My family is even more supportive now :)
 
ladysolitary85 said:
I completely get how you felt! My closest friends knew, very few family members knew but I was scared out of my mind of fully coming out. But I've always felt something was missing in my life because I wasn't living it how I should of. I almost even got married to a guy! Luckily he broke my heart (I did love him but I wasn't happy and the relationship was beyond unhealthy anyways but stayed true for 7 yrs) and I found myself again. My family is even more supportive now :)
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times have changed and still are for gay for the better in westen world...sadly when my husband was young man it would been prisonable to be gay...i kid you not they were put in prison
 
rockin'robin said:
Well....I too have oftened wondered about my 16 yr. old son.....he's only "dated" girls that I know of...but just broke off with the last one...saying he "wanted to work on himself"....??....he hates to shave...says whenever he looks into the mirror, he hates his beard....only time will tell, I'm thinking....His brothers are very athletic...he is not...but loves to skateboard....
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Maybe he's trans? If you think he is, and you love him, TELL HIM NOW. Don't wait until he's in his 20s and 30s and he's stuck in a job where he can't transition or has a family of his own he could lose over transition.

I wish I had told my parents myself at 13, but I waited 18 years, and by that time, Mom had passed just as I was starting on that path, and Dad was already to the point where my stepmother felt he was too frail to take the news, so all I could do was grow my hair out and take my hormones, but continue dressing and talking as male in front of him. I would liked to have heard Dad say, "I love you, and I'll support you in anything you want to do," at that time, but I heard him say it years before, when I was struggling through college. Mom said the same thing when I came out to her in my 20s (and I suspect she went to Dad (they were divorced by then) and told him what the deal was, and he was trying to tell me without saying outright that he knew from Mom). At another time, in a different conversation, Dad had told me that he had a good friend, a good one, who was a transvestite, and he shared a couple of stories about him dressing up and going out on the town. Dad never judged in the negative about him. It was just the way his friend was. Now, I'll never know, but just suspect and believe that he did know and loved me anyway.

DO IT! TELL HIM NOW!
 
caz12 said:
times have changed and still are for gay for the better in westen world...sadly when my husband was young man it would been prisonable to be gay...i kid you not they were put in prison
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And still is in more religiously extremist parts of the world.
 
when I came out to my mother her thoughts were how I knew since I have never been with a man. I was scared to tell my dad(parents were divorced), dad died before I could tell him. My aunt told me that he knew.:aw:
 
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