Clingy? Independence? Confused...

I

Infinite8811

New Member
Joined
Oct 10, 2012
Messages
22
Reaction score
0
Have you ever found yourself in MY situation. Well I have a really good friend and they sign and they assist me all the time. They also accompany me to different events,places,and we usally hang out. We are pretty good friends. Well they are the type of person who doesn't mind helping me i I need assistance with an interpreter or i im at a gathering with all OUR friends together...they will sign for me. We often are together on trips and we share some of the same friends. Right now I am confused ...although they have hinted around lately that I am always there with them ....but it was a joke they said...also they are usually honest and I have asked them If I am too dependent and they said No..But with it being a sensitive subject...who would want to tell a person that cant hear that they are being too clingy lol... I'm just wondering with me being DEAF...has anyone ever felt too overly dependent? did the other person tell you? how would you approach this situation? I think with them knowing sign and assisting me it has made our bond STRONGER, but everyone needs a little space and wants to be independent sometimes.

Has anyone ever been in this situation before?

Any advice,suggestions..would be appreciated....and please be nice....besides my deafness and needing someone to sign for me most times....im a fairly independent young adult in ALL other areas...just this one is concerning me because well DEAFNESS is a forever thing at least for me :dunno:
THANKS!
 
Is it possible to find some friends who are deaf or maybe events where there are no need for interpreters?
 
Wirelessly posted

Derek's advice is good. I also have a suggestion. Back up a little, get off to the side on your own a bit, show you can take initiative to do things for yourself. Figure things out and be one step ahead of your friends BEFORE you have the urge to look to them for clarification. Don't wait for them to tell you what is going on, you let them know what you are doing in the situation, do it yourself, then see how your friends respond. Take it from there.
 
Just because you're deaf doesn't mean you can't do things by yourself. Don't get a habit of becoming too dependent on your friend. It may affect your social skills. Learn to communicate with hearing people without an interpreter or your friend. I'm deaf, but I'm not afraid to communicate with hearing people by using my voice or writing the notes. It's a big world full of hearing people. Show your friends you can do it by yourself!
 
At work, even two deaf friends who are illiterate always depended on me like "what that means?" or "can you explain what it said?". Once and for all, I told them to ask their supervisor to clarify whenever they don't understand what's being said so they stopped bothering me.
 
I often feel the same .. I am friends with interpreters and people who sign for who tehy are .. But I use interpreters soo when I invite them to stuff .. I will clarify you are here as a friend and not as an interpreter ... they come backwith I want you to be comfortable enough with me to ask if you need to
 
think with them knowing sign and assisting me it has made our bond STRONGER, but everyone needs a little space and wants to be independent sometimes.
Click to expand...
You're not dependent. I know oral only people who refuse to go out in public without bringing along their own Hearing Ear Person.
 
deafdyke said:
You're not dependent. I know oral only people who refuse to go out in public without bringing along their own Hearing Ear Person.
Click to expand...

That's called friendship....people normally like to go out with others...that's kind of how it works...

Laura
 
when i first went deaf i was in constant panic and terrified my friends would go, i followed the around like terrified child i was 30.A time came when i realized they needed break and had other friends aswel as me..i joined deaf clubs became friends with others learn some life skills and tried not to get paranoid..your friends are nice people and would not do what they do if they did not value your friendship do abit of chilling out take them for a drink or something you can assist them with from time to time.. try find something that include deaf if poss
 
Lau2046 said:
That's called friendship....people normally like to go out with others...that's kind of how it works...

Laura
Click to expand...

No. They are afraid to go out in public without someone to orally interpret/ be their ears/ be their Hearing Ear Person.
 
Wow, I had no idea. Thanks for letting me know. I don't understand what that's like, to have a person do the hearing for you even if you are an oral-only person. How did this happen?
 
deafdyke said:
You're not dependent. I know oral only people who refuse to go out in public without bringing along their own Hearing Ear Person.
Click to expand...

I knew some who were like that too...
 
deafdrummer said:
Wow, I had no idea. Thanks for letting me know. I don't understand what that's like, to have a person do the hearing for you even if you are an oral-only person. How did this happen?
Click to expand...

It's exactly like having an oral interpreter.
 
and my response to oral only people who need a Hearing Ear Person to go out is " Gee, doesn't seem like there's a lot of independence in listening and talking." For the lurkers, these aren't people who have low speech perception with HAs......these are functionally HOH folks.
 
Isn't it ironic that AG BAD assumes that using a "terp/Sign is a crutch, but yet there are people who are oral only who cannot function without a Hearing Ear Person?
 
deafdyke said:
It's exactly like having an oral interpreter.
Click to expand...

No, I'm talking about the mental state of not being able to go out in public freely, at any time. To be dependent on someone to go with you.

Edit: Who/what is AG BAD?
 
deafdrummer said:
No, I'm talking about the mental state of not being able to go out in public freely, at any time. To be dependent on someone to go with you.

Edit: Who/what is AG BAD?
Click to expand...

That basicly is the mentality of the people who use their Hearing Ear Person. Yes, it's not as bad as say a person with autism or mental disability being so low functioning that they can't go out in public....but I do know a lot of oral only folks who refuse to go out in public without a Hearing Ear Person.
And AG BAD is AG Bell...........surprised you don't know that by now seeing as you're not exactly a newbie.
 
deafdyke said:
That basicly is the mentality of the people who use their Hearing Ear Person. Yes, it's not as bad as say a person with autism or mental disability being so low functioning that they can't go out in public....but I do know a lot of oral only folks who refuse to go out in public without a Hearing Ear Person.
And AG BAD is AG Bell...........surprised you don't know that by now seeing as you're not exactly a newbie.
Click to expand...

AG Bell, yes, but not AG BAD.
 
Back
Top