class question

[jillio]

and she also said that we can send his bottle but they are going to give him a sippy cup..he cant even feed himself, and she also had that in her hand too..i have just never met someone who glossed over medical records this much. i hope this isnt normal!

No, it is not normal and you have every right to naysay anything that you do not agree with that she proposes. You know your child and his frustration level. A child who becomes frustrated by being pushed to hard will shut down and not learn any new skills.

 

[frankiesmom]

well, my husband thinks i am too overprotective..and i am, but i am the one who noticed his issues in the first place and not only that..i can read people pretty well..this lady thinks my little one is a coddled little prince who has mommy and daddy wrapped around his fingers, and is picky and doesnt like eating..which is totally not true.
i dont understand her reluctance to just accept this and move on..its not like im asking her to rearrange her curriculum for him...sorry for rambling, it just really pissed me off. i cant believe someone would disregard a doctors note and a damn detailed feeding therapy report that states that he cant eat!
i will say though, that in her favor..she was very big on the whole deaf culture thing and respecting parents who dont want the implant or who want to use sign language only..if it werent for her attitude about his delays, everything would be fine i think!!

 

[jillio]

i personally feel that kids in general are really good at picking up stuff like that more so than adults..but early intervention sucks and they wont do a thing! honestly, after today, i am not so sure this school is going to work..she had a doctors note in her hand, stating that he CANNOT eat solids, and she was going on about how they are going to push him to be at his proper age, and its not going to happen that easy. we were explaining how he cant drink from a bottle sitting up and she rolled her eyes and said "cant or wont?" and then looked at him and said "little boy, you are going to face many new challenges here"...i guess shes not comprehending that he simply does not know how to do this stuff yet.

This woman's attitude is disturbing to me. She is making far too many assumptions that are impossible to make at this point. She needs to work with your son and get to know his patterns before she passes judgement on the motive for his doing, or not doing, anything. Is it possible for you to request another worker?

 

[deafskeptic]

well, my husband thinks i am too overprotective..and i am, but i am the one who noticed his issues in the first place and not only that..i can read people pretty well..this lady thinks my little one is a coddled little prince who has mommy and daddy wrapped around his fingers, and is picky and doesnt like eating..which is totally not true.
i dont understand her reluctance to just accept this and move on..its not like im asking her to rearrange her curriculum for him...sorry for rambling, it just really pissed me off. i cant believe someone would disregard a doctors note and a damn detailed feeding therapy report that states that he cant eat!
i will say though, that in her favor..she was very big on the whole deaf culture thing and respecting parents who dont want the implant or who want to use sign language only..if it werent for her attitude about his delays, everything would be fine i think!!

i'm sorry to hear that.

 

[frankiesmom]

No, it is not normal and you have every right to naysay anything that you do not agree with that she proposes. You know your child and his frustration level. A child who becomes frustrated by being pushed to hard will shut down and not learn any new skills.

exactly!
we had a feeding therapy this afternoon and i had to fight him to get a gerber yoghurt melt into his mouth..and he just sat there. it finally dissolved..
we tried baby food..i put the spoon in his mouth, and he sat there with the food falling out of his mouth because he simply doesnt know any better..and if some stupid do gooder volunteer chooses to disregard what i have said and what his doctor has said..i will pull him out and find an alternative. i hope it doesnt come to that. oh how i wish that his hearing was the only issue..it would be so much simpler!

 

[jillio]

well, my husband thinks i am too overprotective..and i am, but i am the one who noticed his issues in the first place and not only that..i can read people pretty well..this lady thinks my little one is a coddled little prince who has mommy and daddy wrapped around his fingers, and is picky and doesnt like eating..which is totally not true.
i dont understand her reluctance to just accept this and move on..its not like im asking her to rearrange her curriculum for him...sorry for rambling, it just really pissed me off. i cant believe someone would disregard a doctors note and a damn detailed feeding therapy report that states that he cant eat!
i will say though, that in her favor..she was very big on the whole deaf culture thing and respecting parents who dont want the implant or who want to use sign language only..if it werent for her attitude about his delays, everything would be fine i think!!

She certainly does not belong in the profession she is in. It would appear that she is completely unable to assess things on an individual and case by case basis. Anything that doesn't fit into her narrow stereotypes gets the same treatment plan anyway. Treatment plans should always, always be individual. No 2 children will respond in the same way, and even with the same developmental delays, they will have different needs.

Feel free to tell her this, and to say that it came directly from a clinical psychologist.

 

[frankiesmom]

i'm sorry to hear that.

thanks!! i am really having a lousy time at this..i feel so damn helpless. if he just had the hearing loss, this wouldnt even be a problem, it would just be adapting..but everything else is just complicating everything and i dont know, im just sick of it i guess.

 

[deafskeptic]

thanks!! i am really having a lousy time at this..i feel so damn helpless. if he just had the hearing loss, this wouldnt even be a problem, it would just be adapting..but everything else is just complicating everything and i dont know, im just sick of it i guess.

I wish I could help but I hope you can find someone who can help you deal with these issues.

 

[frankiesmom]

well, i think doctor daiquiri will help later this evening!!!
it is friday night, after all!!!

 

[Reba]

Start documenting if you haven't already.

 

[KristinaB]

I took a class through our local Deaf Service Center and personally it was a waste of time. The instructor was hearing, I was the only deaf person and there was 1 HOH person. All the rest were hearing and were teachers in the public school system. When I called our local State college campus about an ASL class they have, they mention that it is not for the deaf or HOH. None of the courses here locally are for the deaf/hoh.

 

[Bottesini]

I took a class through our local Deaf Service Center and personally it was a waste of time. The instructor was hearing, I was the only deaf person and there was 1 HOH person. All the rest were hearing and were teachers in the public school system. When I called our local State college campus about an ASL class they have, they mention that it is not for the deaf or HOH. None of the courses here locally are for the deaf/hoh.

ADA? I have not let being deaf keep me out of a class I want to take.

You might mention the ADA to them.

 

[KristinaB]

ADA? I have not let being deaf keep me out of a class I want to take.

You might mention the ADA to them.

I will check into that. Also, I was hoping for some kind of help with the price, but there is nothing that can be done. Seems no financial aid package is permitted.

 

[jillio]

thanks!! i am really having a lousy time at this..i feel so damn helpless. if he just had the hearing loss, this wouldnt even be a problem, it would just be adapting..but everything else is just complicating everything and i dont know, im just sick of it i guess.

You are dealing with so much at one time, and not getting definitive answers anywhere. You are no doubt being overwhelmed by the situation. That is perfectly natural in your situation. And, since you are a "why" person by nature, not having those answers is terribly frustrating. As soon as you get those answers, I have no doubt that you will cease to feel so overwhelmed, because you will have more of a starting place in deciding how to deal with Frankie's delays.

Don't be hard on yourself. You should be having some negative feelings at this point. Not to have them would mean that you are suppressing your emotions, and that does not allow you to adjust and cope in a healthy way. Take a break every so often, and do something to pamper yourself. You certainly deserve it.

 

[frankiesmom]

i am honestly thinking of focusing on therapy first and enrolling him in this school when he has advanced a little bit..i want him to learn sign language asap but on the other hand, he cant even really use his hands in any meaningful way yet, so this honestly might be a waste of time right now. he already has therapy 3-4 days a week and 1 day at home. but then again, everything ive read says to get it started right away and if you wait, he could never learn properly. of course, now that he is enrolled means calling this person up and sounding like a complete fool but i am just not seeing this working out..she is wanting to strip away all of the things familiar with him in some attempt to toughen him up, and its just not going to work. in his mind, he is a little baby, not a toddler and it seems almost mean to force all of this at once, like shes wanting to do.

 

[Beach girl]

She very literally sounds scary to me. Someone who doesn't get it about the "no solid foods" issue, which is crucial to his well-being, is not a person who should be in charge of that child.

 

[frankiesmom]

exactly what i am thinking..and i dont know why its such a big deal, either. its almost insulting..i think though that its because he LOOKS normal, for the most part..i mean, if you look at him, you would see a chunky toddler until you spent time around him. i am just wondering if i should just take the classes, work with him at home and have speech people keep coming in along with his therapy and then when he has progressed enough to be more aware of things, try the school. i just dont want to wait too long!

 

[Beach girl]

Does he walk or crawl at all?

Certainly he needs some sort of language, but that school might not be the right place for him.

Also, I wondered what he's doing for physical therapy. Is he getting any sort of movement-based therapy to help him develop his coordination and movements?

 

[frankiesmom]

he starts physical therapy in a couple of weeks..he can walk pretty good..he wont walk very far, and he tends to fall over when sitting. but i mean, to me its not that bad, some kids are just starting to walk, even at this late date. there is just something in his little head that is keeping him from understanding things. and this lady is just so damn against accommodating such a simple request. i hate to back out though..we went through all the trouble to get him in and had others involved in it as well, but still..she is blatantly going to ignore 2 different doctor orders, and allow some college student who might not even have children try and feed him..i am wondering if its an excuse because we arent private pay, but i doubt it. who knows??

 

[jillio]

i am honestly thinking of focusing on therapy first and enrolling him in this school when he has advanced a little bit..i want him to learn sign language asap but on the other hand, he cant even really use his hands in any meaningful way yet, so this honestly might be a waste of time right now. he already has therapy 3-4 days a week and 1 day at home. but then again, everything ive read says to get it started right away and if you wait, he could never learn properly. of course, now that he is enrolled means calling this person up and sounding like a complete fool but i am just not seeing this working out..she is wanting to strip away all of the things familiar with him in some attempt to toughen him up, and its just not going to work. in his mind, he is a little baby, not a toddler and it seems almost mean to force all of this at once, like shes wanting to do.

I understand the thought process behind that, but keep in mind also that while he may be having difficulty actually producing the handshapes, etc. he is no doubt taking things in receptively. That will really help with his language development. The goal is to prevent any further delays. Making sure that he is getting language receptively will also mean that his expressive abilities will show that benefit when he begins to actually communicate with sign.