Childs behavior

faire jour, they're not unaided orally skilled.....There are still deaf people who can get to hoh listening levels with HAs. Heck, I'm only hoh (and great HA user) and I still missed out receptively.
 
I can carry on a conversation with a hearing person and probably can do it with 98% accuracy.

But this isn't so great when you consider that I have to literally put my whole energy into the conversation - focus on the topic at hand, speechreading, guess work, using reflective questioning methods to make sure I'm understanding it correctly, taking control of the conversation to make sure I'm not going to miss something, using tricks from my bag...

It's exhausting.
 
DBG,

This reminded me of a time when I was a teenager and volunteered on summer at a "deaf" school in Miami. This school, at the time, JUST became oral, even though they (kids AND teachers) signed only a few years ago (at that time). I thought this was dumb. Fine, oral schools can be oral, but to be a signing school, then changing it to oral only suddenly is just jarring for the kids. Teachers, out of frustration, would resort back to signing to tell them NO or Stop that!

Anyway, I helped the teachers in 1st grade. Kids in that grade usually cry for selfish reasons ("I want that toy!") so teachers became accustomed to it. Well, once I saw a boy who accidentally hit the corner of the desk in his ear. He wore a HA and he hit the sweet spot that made the inner part of the HA mold hit something that causes a lot of pain. (eardrum, perhaps? I've had this happen to me quite a few times.) He recoiled quickly and started crying. When the teacher looked at him, he pointed to his ear and sobbed. The teacher simply said Stop that, stop crying. And signed it too. I told the teacher what happened, then she calmed down and took off his HA and hugged him. He stopped crying and felt better after that.

It made me sad. Who knows how many times little things like that happen? I don't know if the boy had the capability to explain himself (speak or sign). Also, teachers have become so desensitized to kids being kids. But man, made me wish the boy could speak up. And I'm sure he did too.
 
deafbajagal said:
There are moments in my childhood that I remember so vividly, and those moments bother me because they are pieces of puzzles...and my puzzles have lots of missing pieces.

I remember the day that I was in the store with my mother. My foot got caught under a metal shelf and it sliced my heel just a little, but enough to hurt. I tried to tell her but she waved me off...there are many moments where I'm waved off, brushed aside, or hushed because it was too much trouble trying to talk to me. I limped all the way to the car, with hot tears. I also remember one Christmas where my sisters were laughing at a scene in the movie with Rudolph....I wanted to know what was so funny but I got the usual "we'll tell you later...we're watching the show now." When I finally was able to get my hands on the movie with the captions when I had became an adult, I immediately rushed home to find the scene to figure out what was so funny. Almost sixteen years later, to fill an empty space to my puzzle. It WAS funny, but I cried instead.

Yeah, research here and there shows this and that. But my very own personal experiences as a deaf person should carry some weight that when I tell someone that this particular experience should not happen to his/her child, all I can do is hope it doesn't fall on "deaf" ears. Puzzles are meant to be complete.
Click to expand...


I remember feeling jealous of my sister. She fell off the top bunk and screaming for help, mom came rushing in and soothing her. I mean I was concern about her being hurt... but the jealousy came after it happened when I was screaming in pain over legcramp (it really hurt) but no one came rushing in. When did parents become so numb toward their deaf children?
 
Last edited:
deafdyke said:
Why doesn't that surprise me? Seriously.......Emotional experiances are just so complex...they can't really be expressed too well with spoken language....helll when I try to I just totally melt down and lose my speech.....almost like a communication tantrum. This past summer when I said goodbye to my best friend, I was signing and crying. (she doesn't sign)
Click to expand...

Even hearing kids have problems working through emotional processing at young ages. They just aren't developmentally ready to process abstract things at an in depth level. But for the kid who has suffered language delays, it is even more difficult, and the language delays can impact that ability for one's entire life.
 
deafbajagal said:
There are moments in my childhood that I remember so vividly, and those moments bother me because they are pieces of puzzles...and my puzzles have lots of missing pieces.

I remember the day that I was in the store with my mother. My foot got caught under a metal shelf and it sliced my heel just a little, but enough to hurt. I tried to tell her but she waved me off...there are many moments where I'm waved off, brushed aside, or hushed because it was too much trouble trying to talk to me. I limped all the way to the car, with hot tears. I also remember one Christmas where my sisters were laughing at a scene in the movie with Rudolph....I wanted to know what was so funny but I got the usual "we'll tell you later...we're watching the show now." When I finally was able to get my hands on the movie with the captions when I had became an adult, I immediately rushed home to find the scene to figure out what was so funny. Almost sixteen years later, to fill an empty space to my puzzle. It WAS funny, but I cried instead.

Yeah, research here and there shows this and that. But my very own personal experiences as a deaf person should carry some weight that when I tell someone that this particular experience should not happen to his/her child, all I can do is hope it doesn't fall on "deaf" ears. Puzzles are meant to be complete.
Click to expand...

Absolutely your experiences are the most important. And the personal experiences of the deaf that I have had contact with for several years now all support what the research says. I know when I was making decisions regarding my son's environment, it was the personal experience of the deaf that guided me. I did not begin to realize how much research backed up what I had been told by deaf adults until I actually returned to school to study the phenomenon. I was amazed at how much the things I was told by deaf adults regarding their experience of being a deaf child correlates exactly with the research I was reading. I also found it amazing that anthroplogists, sociologists, and psychologists all agree with the research. It seems to be only hearing parents and hearing educators that disagree.
 
Daredevel7 said:
DBG,

This reminded me of a time when I was a teenager and volunteered on summer at a "deaf" school in Miami. This school, at the time, JUST became oral, even though they (kids AND teachers) signed only a few years ago (at that time). I thought this was dumb. Fine, oral schools can be oral, but to be a signing school, then changing it to oral only suddenly is just jarring for the kids. Teachers, out of frustration, would resort back to signing to tell them NO or Stop that!

Anyway, I helped the teachers in 1st grade. Kids in that grade usually cry for selfish reasons ("I want that toy!") so teachers became accustomed to it. Well, once I saw a boy who accidentally hit the corner of the desk in his ear. He wore a HA and he hit the sweet spot that made the inner part of the HA mold hit something that causes a lot of pain. (eardrum, perhaps? I've had this happen to me quite a few times.) He recoiled quickly and started crying. When the teacher looked at him, he pointed to his ear and sobbed. The teacher simply said Stop that, stop crying. And signed it too. I told the teacher what happened, then she calmed down and took off his HA and hugged him. He stopped crying and felt better after that.

It made me sad. Who knows how many times little things like that happen? I don't know if the boy had the capability to explain himself (speak or sign). Also, teachers have become so desensitized to kids being kids. But man, made me wish the boy could speak up. And I'm sure he did too.
Click to expand...

Things like that really bother me. The first question should have been "What happened" or "why are you crying?" Unfortunately, things like that happen far too often, particularly in the mainstream.
 
jillio said:
I'm hoping that some of what we see is generational. It could go one of two ways. The generation becoming parents more open to bilingual education and environments, or a greater reliance on "advanced technology". The 20 somethings appear to be very tech oriented, which would make them more prone to less technological interventions. I think we are seeing a lot of this in the attitude toward CI. I am hearing the same thing said about CI that I heard about digital aids 20 years ago. This is the newest technology that will change the world of deafness. It has been said about technology for my lifetime. And the thing is, with each improvement, we don't see much changing in the world of deafness, because for real change to occur, we have to approach it from the deaf perspective.
Click to expand...

I agree with you, Jillio, CIs are very expensive in the US as I have gathered here on AD. Technology cannot always be assessible, especially in third-world countries. Promoting the use of sign language and awareness for D/deaf is the most efficient, economical and natural solution.
 
shel90 said:
With my parents, it was as long as I can speak and respond to them, it was good enough.

They didnt get it at all.

I know your pain...know it way too much, unfortunately. :hug:
Click to expand...

Me too +1 :hug:
 
deafbajagal said:
I can carry on a conversation with a hearing person and probably can do it with 98% accuracy.

But this isn't so great when you consider that I have to literally put my whole energy into the conversation - focus on the topic at hand, speechreading, guess work, using reflective questioning methods to make sure I'm understanding it correctly, taking control of the conversation to make sure I'm not going to miss something, using tricks from my bag...

It's exhausting.
Click to expand...

Well said, that's what it is like for me too.
 
Technology cannot always be assessible, especially in third-world countries. Promoting the use of sign language and awareness for D/deaf is the most efficient, economical and natural solution.
Click to expand...
Exactly. Technology is awesome.....but it does seem like technology works best in "best listenining situtions" Meaning "one on one" or with someone who is familair with how to interact with dhh people. We need to promote a FULL toolbox! Heck even Ag Bell superstars complain that they are lost in crowd situtions.
 
deafgal001 said:
I remember feeling jealous of my sister. She fell off the top bunk and screaming for help, mom came rushing in and soothing her. I mean I was concern about her being hurt... but the jealousy came after it happened when I was screaming in pain over legcramp (it really hurt) but no one came rushing in. When did parents become so numb toward their deaf children?
Click to expand...

I remember similar thing happened to me. My sister got hurt, she screamed and cried and both of my parents rush to her, they had to take her to hospital though I have no idea why (they never told me), something do with her tummy. When I was on rollerblades I fell (10 years old), cracked my wrist and banged my head, I screamed out but my mum didn't come even though she heard. 5 kids on that street went to my mum and told her I am hurt bad, she came but she didn't believe me, it wasn't until in evening when Dad came home he took me hospital cos he believed me and I DID have cracked wrist.

From then I wondered what if I am seriously hurt next time, or serious accident, would my parents even come to me? Not nice thoughts.
 
I think I know why...because often we had scream-like behaviors to try to express communication and when we do have pain, it's hard to distinguish actual pain from frustration of not being able to communicate. Perhaps it's hard to distinguish because it's really the same thing.

I've heard stories similar to where the parents didn't take the deaf child seriously when they were indeed seriously injured. It's communication breakdown at its worst.
 
deafbajagal said:
I think I know why...because often we had scream-like behaviors to try to express communication and when we do have pain, it's hard to distinguish actual pain from frustration of not being able to communicate. Perhaps it's hard to distinguish because it's really the same thing.

I've heard stories similar to where the parents didn't take the deaf child seriously when they were indeed seriously injured. It's communication breakdown at its worst.
Click to expand...

Agreed. Parents become conditioned to ignoring the screams of frustration, and so don't respond appropriately at other times. Frankly, I don't think screams of frustration should ever be ignored, either. They are there for a reason. Help your child work through that frustration.
 
I think your right about parents not able to tell them apart. I never thought that when I was young.
 
Speedy Hawk said:
I remember similar thing happened to me. My sister got hurt, she screamed and cried and both of my parents rush to her, they had to take her to hospital though I have no idea why (they never told me), something do with her tummy. When I was on rollerblades I fell (10 years old), cracked my wrist and banged my head, I screamed out but my mum didn't come even though she heard. 5 kids on that street went to my mum and told her I am hurt bad, she came but she didn't believe me, it wasn't until in evening when Dad came home he took me hospital cos he believed me and I DID have cracked wrist.

From then I wondered what if I am seriously hurt next time, or serious accident, would my parents even come to me? Not nice thoughts.
Click to expand...

I know. :( When I had frequent migraine headaches, my dad was certain that I was trying to get out of work - never mind the fact every time I have them, I have to shut myself in the darkest room which was the bathroom and wait it out. And I do not like in dark rooms cuz it's impossible to understand everyone around me.

Once he made me go to work after I threw up four times because I needed to learn the value of hard work. My boss made me go back home as it was clear to her I was in no condition to work. She said I sounded like I had the croup.

I don't tell my parents about the pain that I have unless it's quite extreme because neither of them are very sympathic to me when I'm in a lot of pain.

When I got an infection shorty after my heart bypass surgery, I had to use a body vac. My first nurse put the body vac in me and that caused a great deal of pain.

I didn't find out till later tthat she had not put it in the proper way and that's what caused me so much pain. I screamed in the pain and yelled this isn't acceptable and that I didn't want to use the body vac again cuz it was so painful.

My mother told me she was embrassed by my behavior and my dad told me I had to learn to mangage pain.

It took a long time for my second nurse to get me to relax when I had to change dressings just before they put the body vac in me again.
 
Too often, I see that where parents have no idea what's wrong with their child simply because they dont understand ASL. Too many times.
 
Back
Top