Cheaters; Forgiven or forgotten ?

I guess . that makes sense.

Yeah I turned him down for anything sexual because of my own issues.

yeah Valentines day /: im just worried seeing as i still am not ready for the sexual part of a relationship that something might go wrong , like getting drunk and doing something that might not happen when sober.

Most values are the same just sex has come meaningless /: which when digging deep its easy to see how sex has no meaning.

Thanks for your advice. :) I appreciate it ,.
 
Also, your young so you got plenty of time, it is the guy's loss that you don't want to do it.
Too bad for him. End of story.
 
The way I look it is that cheating means that the cheater doesn't value the relationship. If he doesn't value the relationship, why stay in it?
 
sallylou said:
The way I look it is that cheating means that the cheater doesn't value the relationship. If he doesn't value the relationship, why stay in it?
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He tried to get me back once we broke up , i told him no we were NOT together for months .

I did a lot of thinking and I told him I wanted to be friends , then we worked our way back to being together
 
Yea, I did that once, too. Then, I married someone else. We just celebrated our 20th anniversary. :lol:
 
sunny_signs said:
Tough question. I hope I never have to really think that one through.
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One never knows what one will do until the situation actually occurs. A decision like that needs to take individual circumstances and the overall nature of the relationship into account. No one can ever say, "I definately would..."
 
Paige said:
i guess , you have a good point . it defiantly destroys the trust in the relationship . and trust is key
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If someone is cheating, there was never trust there to begin with. A lot of other things are usually missing, as well.
 
Is one's behaviour "purposive"? Leads to why-cheating?

Implanted A B Harmony activated Aug/07
 
I won't lie...I've thought about and have been tempted to cheat because I felt my needs, especially emotional needs, weren't being met. I thrive on emotional support, intimacy (this might be too heavy for the op lol), and open communication. But I take vows seriously...and if I ever were to want to cross the bridge, then I would do the right thing and break up. Then it is not cheating. It's called respect...and no one has the right to cheat, regardless. If you want to share love notes, whisper sweet nothings ( or sign lol), sleep with someone else...then do it after you are free to do so.
 
Beach girl said:
I don't buy it. A cheater is going to try to make *you* look bad so that *he* doesn't. That is always what an abuser does: "Look what you made me do!"

And it's b.s. If he had a problem with you and whatever it was you did (turned him down for sex?), why did he not say "Hey, I have a problem with that. Can we talk about it and work it out?"

But he didn't do that. He went behind your back, had, in your words, "meaningless sex" with someone else, and then tried to get back with you.

And all this was back in February? And now you're worried that having gotten back together, a 10-day absence will make him cheat again?

You two just do not share the same values. He has already proved it; you already know it.

Worrying about your boyfriend cheating is no way to enjoy a relationship. My advice: get him out of your life, once and for all, and be open to meeting someone who values you for yourself and won't try to belittle the morals and values you believe in.
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My ex hubby said that I was the one who drove him to cheat on him. So, I said :madfawk:and ended our marriage right there. He tried to make it work but I was done. Done with him blaming me on everything and then blaming me on his affair really was the last straw.
 
Good for you. Too many people, for whatever reasons, get drawn into believing this nonsense when someone says "look what you made me do!" It's NEVER true.

You've come out by far the better for it in the long run.
 
Beach girl said:
Good for you. Too many people, for whatever reasons, get drawn into believing this nonsense when someone says "look what you made me do!" It's NEVER true.

You've come out by far the better for it in the long run.
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Yea and I am happily married to my 2nd husband. I never feel guilty about anything being with him.
 
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