Bullying during or after education stages. Is it okay?

Abouta Bullyin'

In my opinions: they have a low self-esteem, don't love or likes theirselves, they are not happy with their life, family etcs.

Some bullyin' come from bad family, etcs.

I've had that experienced, best thing is to walk away, when you walk away from the bullyin' who's provokin' ya, you shows them what they are doing is wrong, sometimes it would make them feels bad if you walk away, or it would make them feels stupid for what they did to you, you shows them what's right from wrong.

Bullyin' indeeds are the weakers one and when you walk away from the bullyin', that doesn't mean you are weak, you are strong for whats right and to do the right things not to fight back.

Fightin' back is like you are no better than the bullyin', it just keeps goin' and goin' never stops, eventually the bullyin' will stop tauntin' you if you walk away, I did that and it works!
 
What kids now-a-days don't understand is that it isn't really a problem, it is really potential! I was once harassed as well (blame those damn late puberty genetic inconveniences), they have to learn to reason and outsmart these idiots, that's how one develops a better head on their shoulders. Suffice to say, I outgrew his @$$, was in HS football, and graduated. About him? He's a hopeless dropout, along with those stupid gang types, ditch your bad friends cold turkey! They are not worth it!
 
PePe LePew said:
I've had that experienced, best thing is to walk away, when you walk away from the bullyin' who's provokin' ya, you shows them what they are doing is wrong, sometimes it would make them feels bad if you walk away, or it would make them feels stupid for what they did to you..
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Hate you bust your proverbial bubble, but that doesn't always work. Speaking from personal experience, here. :|
 
I know these aren't deafies, but I am bringing in some celebrity responses on their past experience with bullying, which usually is of the same thing. What do you guys think now you see this? I intended to post this originally, but decided to wait till we had a good amount of responses.

One thing's for sure, deaf people are not alone in the bullied department.

Rosario Dawson (Actress)
"Growing up, a lot of the girls in my school started developing quickly. My mom has a very pronounced bust line and I was a late bloomer. One of my worst memories is getting all dressed up for a school activity and having the girls pick on me because I was flat chested. I was very much a tomboy for a long time."

Chester Bennington (Linkin Park)
Chester was knocked around like a rag doll at school for being skinny and looking different. He says that joining a band where his voice mattered more really helped.

Chad Michael Murray (One Tree Hill)
"I had my two front teeth knocked out by a sixth grader in first grade. He picked me up and jacked me in the mouth. My house got egged, and all that stuff that happens to you when you're growing up with people who don't understand what's going on.. I hated high school, to be honest. I enjoyed the educational part of it; my teachers allowed me to be creative. But I didn't have any friends, because I didn't fit in.. I thought past high school to what I wanted to do."

Jennifer Freeman (Claire Kyle on My Wife and Kids)
"(school) was sad and I started crying every day. I had really bad acne too, which didn't help. It was a phase in my life and I got through it and it made me a better person. Now I understand what my younger sisters will be going through and I can understand where people are coming from."

Rose McGowan (Charmed)
"You can't do things based on what other people are going to think, because that's what's going to lead you nowhere."

Pierce Brosnan (Actor)
"I moved to London from Ireland when I was 11. I was an outsider and that made it difficult. I was ribbed a lot because of my accent and was nicknamed 'Irish'. I was also very shy-which didn't help. But the important thing is I survived the experience."

Tyra Banks (Model)
"I spent the whole year working on this model show which deals with outer beauty, but three of the prettiest girls left first. It's about personalities. Personality and who you are is so important. If you're pretty but you're ugly inside, you're ugly outside too."

Kristin Kreuk (Smallville)
"I think (self-confidence) comes with growing up, and the people around you that love you for who you are through all your faults, and have worked with you through those things and you can just be who you are and be happy with it. It's never easy for anybody, especially when you're working in show business. People are very mean sometimes. You just have to find it within yourself."

Brian McFadden (Singer)
"I was bullied at school because of my weight and because I used to sing in bands. It started to make me very sharp-I had one-line answers to retaliate. I always had it in the back of my mind that they can say what they want, but I'll always have the last laugh."

Jessica Simpson (Actress)
"I would walk down the school halls and hear people talking about me," "Some would throw toilet paper at my house or throw eggs at my door... They would also write things on the sidewalk in permanent marker. They really hated me."

Michael Phelps (Swimmer)
The Olympic swimmer, 23 - who won eight gold medals in Beijing - was picked on as a kid for his gangly form and big ears. "The bullying and adversity made him be stronger and work harder," his mom told Us.

CLAY AIKEN (Singer)
Classmates targeted the crooner "because I was in musicals," he told Dr. Phil. "I was the only guy in choir in my entire high school... There was a long time when I didn't want to sing because I thought people are going to pick on me."

WINONA RYDER (Actress)
The actress, who was raised on a hippie commune, was the victim of violence. "I was wearing an old Salvation Army shop boy's suit," she has said. "I heard people saying, 'Hey, faggot.' They slammed my head into a locker. I fell to the ground and they started to kick [me.] I had to have stitches."

CHRISTINA AGUILERA(Singer)
In elementary school, girls in the singer's hometown ridiculed her performances in talent shows and slashed the tires on her family's car

TOM CRUISE (Actor)
The actor - who was enrolled in remedial classes for dyslexia - was bullied at 15 different schools. "I'm not the biggest guy," he has said. "I never liked hitting someone, but I know if I don't hit that guy hard he's going to pick on me all year. I just laid it down."

CHRISTIAN BALE (Actor)
When the actor landed a role at the age of 13 in a Steven Spielberg flick, boys got on his case. "Girls were all over me but the boys just wanted to fight me," the Batman Begins star has said.

VICTORIA BECKHAM (Singer)
"They were literally picking things out of the puddles and throwing them at me," the singer (with hubby David Beckham) has said. "I didn't have any friends. People would push me around, say they were going to beat me up after school, chase me."

EVA LONGORIA (Actress)
"All my sisters were light blondes with hazel eyes," the Desperate Housewives star said recently. "They used to call me ugly duckling. I was I was the only one with black hair and the only one with dark skin."

MISCHA BARTON (Actress)
"I just wasn't part of the popular clique," the former O.C star has said. "I was on the outside of it and that was when I was the most self-conscious... I didn't dress cool enough and I didn't have enough money."

Kate Winslet
I became shy because I was overweight. At 16 I was 13st and was called "Blubber". It was pathetic and childish, but girls are so catty. It lasted for about two years. Eventually, I must have told my mother, and she took it up with the masters. They dealt with the situation without exposing my identity. I think that's very important today in cases of bullying.

Tessa Sanderson
There was this boy who we used to call the cock of the school , who'd boss everyone around and push in front of the queue. The abuse was stuff like, "Hey, ******! I'm talking to you, blacky."
Guys would call me things like "coon" and "golliwog". In those days, golliwogs were on the jam jars and we black kids hated them.

Martyn Lewis
The fact that I was born in Wales may have played a part. My tormentors were a clannish group. I didn't tell my family. For some reason, I felt ashamed that it should be happening to me. It lasted only a term. I developed a dreadful stammer, which, alerted my parents.

Mel Gibson
Moved to Australia from New York when he was 12. He was taunted for being chubby and because of his American accent. Mel Gibson is reported as saying that "at first, no one liked me, they made rude remarks about me, cut me to the bone . . . My sense of humour kept the bullies away.





some sources:
Celebrity Stories:: prevention of bullying
http://www.usmagazine.com/celebs-who-were-bullied?slideshow_id=841
 
No, it is never ok to bully.
 
Naisho, your bullied examples are celebrity and they have to say how they rose above it to make people admire them. It isn't necessarily true for them any more than those of us here.

Bullying is always bad, I think.
 
Bottesini said:
Naisho, your bullied examples are celebrity and they have to say how they rose above it to make people admire them. It isn't necessarily true for them any more than those of us here.

Bullying is always bad, I think.
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Do not think, Botts. It is very bad and bully need to be stop no matter what. It is wrong for the bully to abuse the students and adults just because of their differences or the disabilities. We do have young people here on the island being abuse by bullies and it is very bad in both elementary and high schools.
 
society's_child said:
Right here. Thanks for that post about celebrities experiences with bullies.
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Yep, and everyone of them cite the negatives they experienced. Being able to survive the negative doesn't turn it, in and of itself, into a positive. These people no doubt survived because of their coping skills. The bullying did not create the coping skills. It simply put them in a position of having to use them.
 
jillio said:
...These people no doubt survived because of their coping skills. The bullying did not create the coping skills. It simply put them in a position of having to use them.
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You couldn't have said that better. It's exactly what I was thinking but didn't know how to put that into words.
 
Remember, I am not endorsing bullying or anything like that. Do realize this as I am not challenging the idea that bullying needs to be kept alive/dead or needs to continue to exist. It probably will happen anyways.

I am saying that bullying lead to the predevelopment of these "coping skills" and maybe some "cause and effect" helped pioneer and steer the way for who they became. Not all of the celebs were clear on their experiences, some of those can be thrown out.
(I thought it would be interesting to post all of them.)

But for a few of the responses you can notice from the way they explained themselves, it is apparent that they chose to hold steadfast to their beliefs or seek refuge in something else, which might not have ocurred if it weren't for the bullying! What I meant (and ls foster) clarified on how "would you have ended up where you are now" from some acts of bullying in the past.

That is what I am implying.. the celebrity status is really nothing more than a grand bonus in the end to all of it.
Take all of those guys and if you were to remove their "celeb-ness" in each and every single one of them, and just have what they were good at doing - do you see what I am getting at here?

Like, IE Michael Phelp's (Mom's) response. *Theorizing* Phelps probably felt challenged by the bullies and could not retaliate, so his method of doing that was training to become stronger or seek refuge in swimming. Although we don't know if he started swimming pre-bullying! Chester Bennington's example would better represent the "cause and effect" thing. If it wasn't for the bullies, he might have never went to join the band.

The whole point I am trying to convey is like:
15xwo4w.jpg

Bullying is obviously bad!!!!
However you can see in some (NOT ALL) cases it has made people what they have became today! This might been a cool thing to others who see them the way they are.
It's kinda like a food for thought challenge. Similar to a theory of chronological evolution, "if this mosquito was never here at this time, that bird who ate it would have never been able to feed the fox, which then fed the tiger who is the king of the forest."
 
naisho said:
Remember, I am not endorsing bullying or anything like that. Do realize this as I am not challenging the idea that bullying needs to be kept alive/dead or needs to continue to exist. It probably will happen anyways.

I am saying that bullying lead to the predevelopment of these "coping skills" and maybe some "cause and effect" helped pioneer and steer the way for who they became. Not all of the celebs were clear on their experiences, some of those can be thrown out.
(I thought it would be interesting to post all of them.)

But for a few of the responses you can notice from the way they explained themselves, it is apparent that they chose to hold steadfast to their beliefs or seek refuge in something else, which might not have ocurred if it weren't for the bullying! What I meant (and ls foster) clarified on how "would you have ended up where you are now" from some acts of bullying in the past.

That is what I am implying.. the celebrity status is really nothing more than a grand bonus in the end to all of it.
Take all of those guys and if you were to remove their "celeb-ness" in each and every single one of them, and just have what they were good at doing - do you see what I am getting at here?

Like, IE Michael Phelp's (Mom's) response. *Theorizing* Phelps probably felt challenged by the bullies and could not retaliate, so his method of doing that was training to become stronger or seek refuge in swimming. Although we don't know if he started swimming pre-bullying! Chester Bennington's example would better represent the "cause and effect" thing. If it wasn't for the bullies, he might have never went to join the band.

The whole point I am trying to convey is like:
15xwo4w.jpg

Bullying is obviously bad!!!!
However you can see in some (NOT ALL) cases it has made people what they have became today! This might been a cool thing to others who see them the way they are.
It's kinda like a food for thought challenge. Similar to a theory of chronological evolution, "if this mosquito was never here at this time, that bird who ate it would have never been able to feed the fox, which then fed the tiger who is the king of the forest."
Click to expand...


The bolded statement shows that the coping skills existed prior to the bullying, not the other way around. Additionally, coping style is largely innate. Coping skills are learned behaviors. Different coping styles are naturally inclined to develop and utilize specific coping skills. Therefore, I stand by my statement that the bullying is not responsible for the development of the coping strategies, but simply created the situation in which those strategies were utilized. Therefore, bullying has not "made people what they are today". It simply provided the opportunity to demonstrate it.
 
jillio said:
The bolded statement shows that the coping skills existed prior to the bullying, not the other way around. Additionally, coping style is largely innate. Coping skills are learned behaviors. Different coping styles are naturally inclined to develop and utilize specific coping skills. Therefore, I stand by my statement that the bullying is not responsible for the development of the coping strategies, but simply created the situation in which those strategies were utilized. Therefore, bullying has not "made people what they are today". It simply provided the opportunity to demonstrate it.
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Great insight, as you have given plausible or rather, dead on clarification on the developmental aspect of coping skills. It does make sense because if applied to a real life situation it works.

Nonetheless, one question/focus still remains unanswered. The main one I am seeking to provoke within the rest of us.
Even if it was the result of bullying, the offset of them [others, celebs, anyone else] doing what they decided to do as a result of bullying:

Might have never occurred in the first place without it [an experience] occurring, shouldn't one deduce? (This is key)

This highlights back to the food chain analogy, with "the tiger" division being the tertiary result. The tiger can't help but eat secondary consumers, but it all started from that little particular mosquito.
 
Anyone heard of Darwin's theory on survivial of the fittest? Ever watch an episode of an animal species fighting for territory on the Animal Planet channel? Discovery Channel?

Isn't it true that boys establish the alpha male status by using and/or defeating bullying? Kind of like how wolves in packs establish their status in society. Can we truly stop bullying without messing up hundreds of years of social order of boys?

Is it wrong to tell a kid: If kid A hits you, you hit him back. If Kid A bites you, you bite him back. Then Kid A will not hit or bite you again. Kid A will know you will not tolerate his abuse.

If the kid goes and tells the teacher (as we know we are supposed to tell them to do so), then 1) the teacher might do something about it...but what? 2) the teacher might not do anything at all 3) the kid gets labeled as a tattleteller and 4) regardless of what happens, the bullying is likely to continue - and might get worse because now he's mad.

Bullies have been around as long as sex has. It's the APPROACH that makes the difference on how a kid can handle a bully.
 
naisho said:
Great insight, as you have given plausible or rather, dead on clarification on the developmental aspect of coping skills. It does make sense because if applied to a real life situation it works.

Nonetheless, one question/focus still remains unanswered. The main one I am seeking to provoke within the rest of us.
Even if it was the result of bullying, the offset of them [others, celebs, anyone else] doing what they decided to do as a result of bullying:

Might have never occurred in the first place without it [an experience] occurring, shouldn't one deduce? (This is key)

This highlights back to the food chain analogy, with "the tiger" division being the tertiary result. The tiger can't help but eat secondary consumers, but it all started from that little particular mosquito.
Click to expand...

Given what I have explained regarding innate coping styles and coping strategies, yes these individuals would have had the same innate coping styles and employed the same type of coping strategies to other obstacles throughout their lives.
 
As a kid in "pull-out" Ex Ed., and w/undiagnosed LD up til college, I was physically and emotionally bullied constantly from first grade up to ninth grade, when I chose to go an arts specialty school where I knew that everybody would be "different". I learned a lot at that school about stuff besides academics. I suppose I employed various coping strategies, with varying effective-ness, to get through, but I don't think the bullying creates the coping ability, just capitalizes on it.
 
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