Bullying an 11 yr old boy, killed himself.

Agreed. After the mom had gone to the school about it several times, and the school did nothing to help him so he gave up. He just figured no one was going to help him, and he decided to do something drastic to make the bullying stop. The school now has the death of a child on their hands, and a mother has to deal with the loss of her child, and his brothers and sisters have to deal with the loss of their sibling. Situations like this need to be taken very, very seriously by the school system.
 
Yep, I agreed with you, Jill. It really need to do something to fix the problem for all schools... I hate to see children are being stuck and not know what to do when they feel 'nobody would listen and/or help. :mad:

This is just remind me to I remember my old co worker from my former work or something. She told me that (I think) she chose to homeschool her own kids (or at her kids' private school. Sorry, can't remember which school options she picked one) cos she had really horrible experiences at her old schools. She didn't want to see her kids go through what she was placed in. =/ I can understand that... :(
 
PowerON said:
Bully is natural in our life, that something you cannot prevent from stop thing happen. The victim have to be taught to deal with it than being wimp. Or that person will not make better in future. Why? That person give up without make deal to solution their problem. So, either their parents are responsible for these incident.

Someone bullying me, I had to fight back to end.
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It can be prevented and it can be reduced, if the school steps in and take control of the situation by setting up ground rules that harassment, bully and abuse will not be tolerated.

Schools preaches about safely of all children, yet they seem to ignore dangerous signs of bully, There are many children that are being picked on the language they speak, the colors of their skin, their gender, their age, their traditions, their sexual orientation and their identity list goes on. I know we are all human we do make mistakes, but kids are to be taught to respect all kind of people from different cultures. The longer the school does not do anything about the bullies, the more it'll continue to destroy the self confidence of others.
 
I agree. Bullying is not natural and something that just happens. It is a learned behavior. Bullies are not born, they are made. It can be prevented, and it can be stopped. A bully is a very unhappy and insecure child. He/she is not getting the love and support and discipline that makes them feel important and loved and cared for. They do not have any self esteem because the people closest to them are not giving them the message that they are important and valuable. So in order to try to get that feeling, they do what they can to make others feel bad about themselves. That way, it makes them feel more special and like they are better than the person being bullied. It is very sad that a child would have to hurt another child just so they feel like they have importance. As mean as a bully can be, underneath they are in a lot of pain. They need help to learn how to develop self esteem in healthy ways. Often times, they are bullied at home by parents or siblings, and the only way they know to get rid of their own pain is to make someone feel pain, too. We have to make it clear to our kids that bullying will not be tolerated. And then we have to teach them other ways to cope. We can't blame the bully because someone made them the way they are, but we can't let them continue to hurt others, either. Schools need to recognize how much damage has been done to a child that is a bully, and they need to recognize how much damage a bully can to do another. It is a serious situation and it needs to be treated as such. It is unacceptable for an 11 year old child to take his own life because the adults around him would not do what needed to be done to help him, or to help the bully. And this may not be a popular thing to say, because we are all focused on the poor child that took his own life, but the one that was doing the bullying will have to live the rest of his life knowing that his actions resulted in someone else's death. He also needs help dealing with that. We cannot just go on loosing our children this way.
 
You know what's doubley sad? There was a case in Springfield exactly like this.
I honestly don't think that a lot of parents and adults understand how fucking CRUEL kids can be.
Yes, there's "normal" teasing but a lot of the kids who make their victims' lives miserable are freaking sociopaths.
 
I was bullied throughout my school years. I was the class freak from day one. At one point it got so bad, I begged my parents to let me transfer to another school, but they said no. It got bad enough I contemplated suicide, but then oddly my senior year, I became the kid that could write, but still no one really wanted to be my friend. I ended up walking at graduation alone. I hated my school experience. I was bullied both physically, and emotionally. All the bullying led to my eating disorder, which I still struggle with to this day. If people said that bullying has no lingering effects would be sadly mistaken and Im sure Jillio has further proof to support my argument that being a victim of bullying can lead to a lifetime of self-hatred and not feeling confident. Bullying can lead to behaviors and other disorders such as eating disorders, and self-mutilation that are one's way of 'fixing' the problem. They know the starvation won't make the bullies go away, but it numbs them enough to keep from feeling the pain, and if they have little control over the rest of their life, control over their hunger makes them feel like they've got something to themselves, until eventually the ED takes control. Ive never gone into rehab but I've been close to being sent once. But I honestly do believe my ED can be traced back to the bullying.

My daughter starts Kindergarten in the fall at my alma mater. I'm making a promise to myself that if she starts getting bullied, I will take the necessary steps needed to ensure that it is nipped in the bud, and if it gets bad enough that she wants to transfer to have a fresh start, then I won't keep that from her. Bullying rarely goes away, it just takes on a new form when the kids are told to stop. I don't see transferring as 'running away' from the problem, its simply taking a child out of a bad environment that cannot be changed and trying them in a new environment where they can be given a fair chance to blossom.

I know of another girl at my alma mater that was bullied much the same that I was and it got bad enough that her parents allowed her to transfer, when she left, she went to her new school and she blossomed. She got a full scholarship to to college, she's found love and happiness, and really I'm glad that she went from bullied girl, to a young woman that's found a piece of happiness.
 
We can't blame the bully because someone made them the way they are, but we can't let them continue to hurt others, either. Schools need to recognize how much damage has been done to a child that is a bully, and they need to recognize how much damage a bully can to do another.
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I'm sorry jillo but while a lot of bullies are really emotionally messed up kids, there are a lot of kids who are simply fucked up sociopaths.
We also need to reconize that the snottiness that's seen in MANY uberwhite high acheiver suburbs can be just as damaging as real bullying.
 
Oh you know what? I actually do agree that a lot of bullies are basicly emotionally stunted who never had proper emotional development. There was an article in the Globe about a new program at reform school type programs. Instead of being all very "chain gang" punitive violence, the focus is more on treating the kids like they didn't get a chance to really have a decent childhood. I forget the specifics of the program, but I remember the article mentioning that the kids in the program had stuffed animals on their beds........and that it was a very effective program...only a small percentage of kids returned to the program.
Since virtually all the kids who are in reform school programs are bully types it says something abt bullies as a whole.
 
deafdyke said:
I'm sorry jillo but while a lot of bullies are really emotionally messed up kids, there are a lot of kids who are simply fucked up sociopaths.
We also need to reconize that the snottiness that's seen in MANY uberwhite high acheiver suburbs can be just as damaging as real bullying.
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That is exactly what I have just said. And scociopaths are not born...they are made. Children cannot be diagnosed with sociopathic disorder. Why? Because in order to be diagnosed with a sociopathic disorder, the behavior has to have been evidenced over a long and consistent period of time. That is all the more reason to address the problems the bullies have before they become ingrained and sociopathic. The time to remedy the problem is when they are children. We need to address not just the problems the bullies create, but the problems the bullies have, as well. You have to keep in mind that any bullying situation is dyadic, and therefore must be treated as such.
 
Dixie said:
I was bullied throughout my school years. I was the class freak from day one. At one point it got so bad, I begged my parents to let me transfer to another school, but they said no. It got bad enough I contemplated suicide, but then oddly my senior year, I became the kid that could write, but still no one really wanted to be my friend. I ended up walking at graduation alone. I hated my school experience. I was bullied both physically, and emotionally. All the bullying led to my eating disorder, which I still struggle with to this day. If people said that bullying has no lingering effects would be sadly mistaken and Im sure Jillio has further proof to support my argument that being a victim of bullying can lead to a lifetime of self-hatred and not feeling confident. Bullying can lead to behaviors and other disorders such as eating disorders, and self-mutilation that are one's way of 'fixing' the problem. They know the starvation won't make the bullies go away, but it numbs them enough to keep from feeling the pain, and if they have little control over the rest of their life, control over their hunger makes them feel like they've got something to themselves, until eventually the ED takes control. Ive never gone into rehab but I've been close to being sent once. But I honestly do believe my ED can be traced back to the bullying.

My daughter starts Kindergarten in the fall at my alma mater. I'm making a promise to myself that if she starts getting bullied, I will take the necessary steps needed to ensure that it is nipped in the bud, and if it gets bad enough that she wants to transfer to have a fresh start, then I won't keep that from her. Bullying rarely goes away, it just takes on a new form when the kids are told to stop. I don't see transferring as 'running away' from the problem, its simply taking a child out of a bad environment that cannot be changed and trying them in a new environment where they can be given a fair chance to blossom.

I know of another girl at my alma mater that was bullied much the same that I was and it got bad enough that her parents allowed her to transfer, when she left, she went to her new school and she blossomed. She got a full scholarship to to college, she's found love and happiness, and really I'm glad that she went from bullied girl, to a young woman that's found a piece of happiness.
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I'm surprised you live in the area that you attended school in. Years ago, I had wanted to buy the house that my family lived in. I have come to terms that I won't and don't want it.

On the same thought, I remember the boy and his sister that harassed me endlessly in seventh grade, so I printed the article and sent it to him after finding his address online. I don't care if I get a response from him or not, but it was for my peace of mind that there are no hard feelings. I won't forget, that's for sure. But, having an article like this in his hands and asking if his wife and his sister's husband (and their kids) know about how mean he was will bring it to his memory.
 
I hope his mom will file a lawsuit against that school which failed to protect him from bullies...so it will be a wake call for that school. No excuses.
 
It's sad, as I was bullied myself. sad because people are taking this seriously than they used to. I'm not saying bullying is no big deal but Bullies have always existed, I just don't understand why more and more people are killing themselves over it. I mean, those are just words (and yes, I know they are hurtful). Is it because people are trying too hard to fit in ever than before?

When I was bullied, I didn't care what those jerks thought of me. I wasn't interested in fitting in their group. (oh and I forgave them too).

Maybe it is the internet thing that is making it worst.
 
jillo, sorry but I have dealt with some very awful sociopaths who were basicly made sociopaths. I mean they were basicly cruel prejudicated bastards.
Kids don't have the dx of sociopathy but they do have the dx of severe conduct disorder which is basicly the same thing.
What about Robert " Yummy" Sandifer, the 11 year old who shot kids for a gang? What about the two boys who dropped a little boy out the window of a 15 story high rise?
 
pek1 said:
I'm surprised you live in the area that you attended school in. Years ago, I had wanted to buy the house that my family lived in. I have come to terms that I won't and don't want it.

On the same thought, I remember the boy and his sister that harassed me endlessly in seventh grade, so I printed the article and sent it to him after finding his address online. I don't care if I get a response from him or not, but it was for my peace of mind that there are no hard feelings. I won't forget, that's for sure. But, having an article like this in his hands and asking if his wife and his sister's husband (and their kids) know about how mean he was will bring it to his memory.
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I dont have a choice due to financial reasons. If I could move, I would. But until I can get a good paying job with stable income then I'll start looking into getting an apartment near my university. With the current economy, the most I've been able to find are part-time jobs, but there is a chance that I may be getting a full-time job soon, I just need some prayer and some stroke of good karma.
 
deafdyke said:
jillo, sorry but I have dealt with some very awful sociopaths who were basicly made sociopaths. I mean they were basicly cruel prejudicated bastards.
Kids don't have the dx of sociopathy but they do have the dx of severe conduct disorder which is basicly the same thing.
What about Robert " Yummy" Sandifer, the 11 year old who shot kids for a gang? What about the two boys who dropped a little boy out the window of a 15 story high rise?
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Yes, kids have a dx of conduct disorder. But it is not the same thing as a dx for one of the sociopathic disorders. Otherwise, it would be dx'ed the same. There is a difference, and that is why there is a difference in the dx.

To comment on these two cases would require pages, as I am assuming you are asking me to comment from a clinical perspective. But neither can you take these two isolated cases and say that they apply to all bullies or to all children dxed with conduct disorder. And just because you have met some cruel prejudiced bastards in your life doesn't mean that those cruel prejudiced bastards were sociopaths. In fact, sociopaths are so proficient at portraying themselves as fine, likeable, upstanding, hardworking citizens that you would not even recognize them as sociopathic. That is a feature of the disorder. It is how they get away with their behavior for such a long time. In fact, those cruel prejudiced bastards you speak of normally don't even meet the criteria for a diagnosable mental illness.
 
yeah, I heard sociopaths can be very charming too. They don't understand it, but they know they have to imitate the society in order to survive and function (sort of like a copycat.. it doesn't come natural for them).
 
Lighthouse77 said:
yeah, I heard sociopaths can be very charming too. They don't understand it, but they know they have to imitate the society in order to survive and function (sort of like a copycat.. it doesn't come natural for them).
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Exactly. They are experts at becoming whatever person they need to be in the situation.
 
Due to this 'charming-sociopathic' behavior, many people are becoming leery of strangers who are nice to them for no apparent reason, and with good reason. Murderers often entice their victims to come to them by being nice, pedophiles use the same tactic to get to children, and it goes on.
 
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