Bullies in school -- outlaw them or send them to jail.

Reba said:
I second that. I've never been to any hs reunions, and I've never regretted it. Why waste the good money?
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Same here ... not interested.
 
Ozzie said:
FC ... It's difficult to offer advice where one cannot see the situation in person. It sounds like Dylan is not getting any discipline when neccessary by his own mother or even his father. He needs love ... possibly jealous of TJ who is getting that maternal love from you. Dylan possibly wishes he had different parents ... who knows. No wonder he is messed up and probably too far down the wrong track, hence himself being a bully. Usually, bullies are immature and insecure.

Depending on how old he is ... maybe sit down with him and have a heart to heart talk, but that's probably difficult to do. Maybe you're thinking that this is not your responsibility ... that's your choice. I think Dylan needs professional help very badly.


[Sorry :topic:]
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My mother and I tried to talk to him and we always tell him if you need us we are here. Dylan refused to. He wont listen to us and wont do anything we ask of him. if we tell him something no. he goes off and call his father telling him that his grandma and his aunt wont let him do like play with gun or whatever. Dylan get to go home? He is just a stubborn boy. he is 9 but will be 10 in June.

His mother doesnt give him enough attention as she always partied or slept 3 or 4 days leaving Dylan in my mom's care. sis abused him too by yelling at him and pushed his head backward and kicking him etc. my mom and i always told her NO stop it!!!!! My mom tried her best. thats why i dont agree with court for allowing her to have joint custody. She SHOULDNT have custody of the kids, period. She is UNFIT mother! I felt bad for the kids.

I always get them candies, sodas, gave them hugs, whatever I can to help them feel loved.. It is HARD.. we suspected that dylan have adhd .. its been brought up with doctor about this so thats remain to be seen... i still love dylan despite him having bad behavior and all that.. :(
 
FC ... seems like you are doing the best you can with Dylan, that's all you can do.
 
Ozzie said:
FC ... seems like you are doing the best you can with Dylan, that's all you can do.
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Yeah i am trying... and my sis in law is trying too.. let Dylan stay there all times and shes helping him with problems and talk to him all times.. so far its helping.. so thats good news. :)
 
Freaky Cat said:
Yeah i am trying... and my sis in law is trying too.. let Dylan stay there all times and shes helping him with problems and talk to him all times.. so far its helping.. so thats good news. :)
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Well that's good .... he definitely needs all the help and love he can get ... maybe someday he will be a fine man, who knows, let's hope so. :)
 
Freaky Cat said:
I know what I did back then was wrong but i was young and didnt know?

as for the dog.. it was my mom's idea to scare dylan. I wouldnt hurt a dog but punish the dog yeah by putting her in cage and show who is the boss. not the dog. I have 2 dogs and 8 cats plus 11 wild cats who i love so dearly. i am an animal lover so i wouldnt do anything to hurt them.

My sister only have a joint custody so she only keep the kids 2 weeks then 2 weeks the kids father have them. I have no proof because i dont see the drugs in her hands? only the symptoms of not sleeping for 4 days and always up and cleaning and cleaning.. so who knows.. she was in jail for 6 months then sent to halfway house for one year. It doesnt work. so what will ?

I dont bother to talk to her or whatever due to her bioplar disorder. if you confront her you would get screamed at in face and pushed and pulling arms etc. So i left her alone and let her worry about her business, not mine. I felt bad for my mother cuz my sister always crawl all over her and screaming at her demanding for money, etc. it is not doing my mother good as she is sick with chronic lung disease. if my mother died.. i am outta of here as I can see her doing to me like she did to our mother. forget it... sigh..
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Sounds like you are already safeguarding yourself and I commend you for it. Keep it up, but please do keep tabs on the kids as a precaution. It doesn't mean you have to go to the sis's house everyday or every week, just a drive by will suffice, so long as you're not seen.
 
Dixie said:
I think everyone here has been bullied at some point in time on here - some went through physically violent times, but the bruises on the outside eventually heal up, but the scars left on the inside stay there for an eternity.

This seems to be more than just a small problem within the deaf community, this is an epidemic! We need to do something about otherwise the problems will just continue to the next generation and so on.

It seems like though that more deaf children experience bullying than compared to their hearing peers. It would be nice though if we could get some numbers and compare the ratios of bully victims between the hearing and deaf communities.

Kids will be kids to a certain extent - but when teasing turns into hurtful insults thats when it needs to be stopped. When it becomes violent and sexual, the police need to get involved no matter what the 'school policy' says. A crime is a crime, kids know better. When bullying becomes violent the bully should have automatic suspension and the school will be required to file a police report on the incident, but it will be up to the victim themselves or their parents if they want to press criminal charges. (and they should) Alot of bullies are thug wannabes and they have such low self image that the only way to make themselves feel 'equal' is by tearing others down to their level.

Also another thing - those who know the bullying is going but say nothing are just as guilty as the bully for letting it happen and allowing it to continue when clearly the victim needs an out from the situation.

There is a difference between letting a school official know that Frankie the Bully has just beat Darren to a pulp behind the bleachers, and Tessa just told Melissa that she's a snitch for telling her mom she was out late. (One is assault on school property, the other is a private family matter off school property after school hours).

What do you think? We gotta stand up for ourselves as a whole, if not for ourselves then at least for our kids who may be getting bullied right now.
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Regarding those that know the bully and don't say anything . . . I think they're just as guilty, too. How many of our parents and grandparents were raised in homes where it was okay for adults to discipline other peoples' kids, especially in church? My mother has told me horror stories and the bruising under the child's arm and my grandmother giving that other woman the thumbs up for getting after "trouble making kid." Sometimes, one wonders where they went when they died. Or another example . . . friends of my mother's from childhood recall hearing the stories from their parents of her and her siblings being (literally) beaten by the parents and they have done nothing to stop it. My dad's mother was "very athletic" in the bedroom; yet, the men always chased my dad out and also picked on him.

Where does it end?
 
Ozzie said:
FC ... It's difficult to offer advice where one cannot see the situation in person. It sounds like Dylan is not getting any discipline when neccessary by his own mother or even his father. He needs love ... possibly jealous of TJ who is getting that maternal love from you. Dylan possibly wishes he had different parents ... who knows. No wonder he is messed up and probably too far down the wrong track, hence himself being a bully. Usually, bullies are immature and insecure.

Depending on how old he is ... maybe sit down with him and have a heart to heart talk, but that's probably difficult to do. Maybe you're thinking that this is not your responsibility ... that's your choice. I think Dylan needs professional help very badly.


[Sorry :topic:]
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Nope, this wasn't off topic.
 
Ozzie said:
Well that's good .... he definitely needs all the help and love he can get ... maybe someday he will be a fine man, who knows, let's hope so. :)
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He's not quite a pre-teen, so the next couple 2-3 years will be worth watching him closely. If he doesn't, when he's 13, a girl or another boy will tell him what they think and it'll get nipped in the bud really quick, if you know what I mean.
 
pek1 said:
Sounds like you are already safeguarding yourself and I commend you for it. Keep it up, but please do keep tabs on the kids as a precaution. It doesn't mean you have to go to the sis's house everyday or every week, just a drive by will suffice, so long as you're not seen.
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Thanks. :) Oh i always check on kids as i dont trust Dylan with cats, dogs, etc. Who knows what he will come up with next? like one day i checked on kids and guess what I found? he was throwing rocks at my CATS! oh i was pissed! i told him STOP that. he said he was trying to get them to come down. I said throwing rocks at them wont make them come down. you are scaring them so dont do that.. sigh.. so many things that had happened around here.. its scary... :(
 
you know last year my DD had her first taste of a bully at aged 3 in preschool. This one boy just kept tormenting her. They would discipline the boy as best they could (timeouts, loss of priviledges, etc.) but with it being a school they could do only so much. So finally I had enough, I rang up the father of the boy who happens to be a state trooper, I just aired out my thoughts on the situation and said if he doesnt get a handle on his son he'll be the one taking him to jail instead of to college in the future.

You know what? There was never another incident after that.
 
Dixie said:
you know last year my DD had her first taste of a bully at aged 3 in preschool. This one boy just kept tormenting her. They would discipline the boy as best they could (timeouts, loss of priviledges, etc.) but with it being a school they could do only so much. So finally I had enough, I rang up the father of the boy who happens to be a state trooper, I just aired out my thoughts on the situation and said if he doesnt get a handle on his son he'll be the one taking him to jail instead of to college in the future.

You know what? There was never another incident after that.
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Wow!! Talk about getting the 'strong arm of the law!' :giggle:
 
I wasn't bullied as I carried my weight around when I was a kid- I grew up with the same people and lived locally at the school- I only recall one memory when a ex-classmate of mine was a little guy (miltary brat he later on moved at the end of the year). He was little for a 5th grader but this one mental retarded guy had anger issues at the playground and always was trying to slam people around. It was a definely mainstreamed school- i dont know why the guy was there but he was a black chubby guy- I remember the bully hitting the classmate and throwing him into the ground and I just ran and pushed the bully and he fell and he wanted to fight with me when he got up...I just screamed and all of the lunch ladies came a'running :) never seen him again.
 
pek1 said:
Mann_K05,

Due to any bad memories, especially from high school, you have my permission to not attend any of your hs reunions. I don't attend any of mine and am proud of it. Since the people didn't talk to you or treat you with respect, why should you have to attend and be reminded of those memories?

I read through the rest of the posts before going to bed the other night and did not post because I was very upset. Not with any of you; there's no way I can be upset with any of you people here.

You don't appear like any of those to me, so they can't be true! Plus, like you, am also a writer. Not smart enough? Let's see if that jerk can write an article, do all the research for it and get it published. Sounds like you're doing well for yourself. Keep it up!
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Ahh, I'm sorry if my post upseted you. I really don't mean to... I can understand how it is painful experience of being bullied.

Heh, yeah, I am still considering if I should to go my high school reunion or not. I really need to think about that. Oh yeah, and I wonder what will be his/her (a jerk) respond to? Aha :D

Sounds like you're doing well for yourself. Keep it up!
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Thanks! :):)
 
VamPyroX said:
Yeah, sad?

When I reported to the principal, he told me that he would have to suspend me too since I was "involved" in this whole thing. Jeez!
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I can only imagine what would have happened if it never happened. "Sorry, punk, but you saw it, tsoy (stands for 'tough sh*t on you'), gonna send you to reformed school."

I think Chase is right . . . the feminizing of people and and naming everyone guilty when it is not the case. :dunno:
 
Mann_K05 said:
Ahh, I'm sorry if my post upseted you. I really don't mean to... I can understand how it is painful experience of being bullied.

Heh, yeah, I am still considering if I should to go my high school reunion or not. I really need to think about that. Oh yeah, and I wonder what will be his/her (a jerk) respond to? Aha :D



Thanks! :):)
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Mann_K05,

You didn't upset me, my friend. Reading all the stories did. If I was mad at you, I would have written you a pm, which in turn, you would have forwarded to one of the mods. I was very upset because after posting here for awhile and interacting with various people here, I tend to like people and become more adament in standing up for you. Being bullied is not right and no one should have to go through that.

As for the hs reunion, it's up to you. You may find that no one remembers or maybe they do and voice that they wished they did something to stop. Either way, it was condoned.
 
Liebling:-))) said:
I shared my POV about bully in my several posts and also some links how to prevent from bullies as well...

Yes, I was being bullied before and positive with this. I accept my knowledge that the people who bully anyone is the one who are not happy!!!!!




http://www.alldeaf.com/general-chat/18079-bullies.html
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Understood.

Although when I say something to someone regarding their grammar, it is not to be a bully. I didn't mention this as if aiming it at you, Liebling, just so you understand. We deaf people need to be mindful that hearies DO judge us by the grammar we use and we need to be on top of our game, especially here.
 
I don't think bullies should go to jail, it's generally the parent's responsibility for their kid. Sometimes parents raise them in a wrong way and they become hell of the school district.
 
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