Break-up experience... have you?
- Thread starter deafpride
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with my first lover -- that was a relationship from H E L L so my feelings didnt matter cuz i had no feelings for her at the time i dumped her and she kept bugging me to NO end!!! :madfawk: now all is quiet LOL she doesnt know ive since moved 
other relationships after that -- the most challenging one was this womyn i dated who i liked alot but simply had no common interest -- for our own sanity i felt it was better that we remain friends despite the fact that we ended up in bed together -- that pretty much nearly killed me but knew it was for the best for our sakes after talking with her and getting thru some major conflicts we understand eachother better now (i think and hope)
other relationships after that -- the most challenging one was this womyn i dated who i liked alot but simply had no common interest -- for our own sanity i felt it was better that we remain friends despite the fact that we ended up in bed together -- that pretty much nearly killed me but knew it was for the best for our sakes after talking with her and getting thru some major conflicts we understand eachother better now (i think and hope)
K
kuifje75
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With my first serious bf, we were together for like 18 months; however, we started to talk less and less and just not do much together. Then he had a serious operation that he never told me about until 2 days before his scheduled operation. I was like wtf, if he isn't comfortable enough to share info with me even after 18 months, then there was obviously not enough trust in the relationship on his part. So, I told him how I felt, and then we broke up. He got mad at me and never spoke with me again after that.
The next serious bf I had, he was basically a few younger than me and unsure of what he wanted in life. I didn't feel it was fair for him so I decided to just be friend with him after like 7 months relationship with him. We still chat with each other every once in a while.
The bf after this one, I am not really at the liberty of discussing here. It was insane and ended badly. Then one guy I kind of dated for a few months, however I didn't feel that he was a boyfriend material for me. We decided to be friends and still chat once in a while.
Now, I'm happily with somebody at the moment, since 5 months.
The next serious bf I had, he was basically a few younger than me and unsure of what he wanted in life. I didn't feel it was fair for him so I decided to just be friend with him after like 7 months relationship with him. We still chat with each other every once in a while.
The bf after this one, I am not really at the liberty of discussing here. It was insane and ended badly. Then one guy I kind of dated for a few months, however I didn't feel that he was a boyfriend material for me. We decided to be friends and still chat once in a while.
Now, I'm happily with somebody at the moment, since 5 months.
Interesting! Everyone has different or common experience.
One long-term bf which I have been with for 3 yrs and I didn't have feeling for him. He is hearing and knowing ASL very well. Our communication was great. I know he was wonderful guy but he isn't my type. In 1 or 11/2 year later, I lost my interest in him and felt unhappy with him. I wanted to break-up with him so bad. I've learned that I never have explained why. I had to hide the truth and didn't want to hurt his feeling. Finally, our arguement had started and I told him I decided to break up with him. He was shocked. However, he was very upset and crying. I realized that he was hurt so badly. His feeling was deeply care and loved for me and it broke his heart so easily. I didn't have exact feeling like him. I moved to back my hometown and in few days later, I explaned everything composing in email to him and he didn't have anything to said. It seemed he accepted in fact we broke up. End up our relationship, I felt great and happy for being single again and started to move on.
Second, I've met deaf and young boyfriend and I was very happy with him. I learned that he has members of family are deaf and some hearing. His 6th generation in families. I found his faimily very interesting and unlike my family which are all hearing. I am one only deaf in whole. I knew his brother from school. After 3 months, we argued a lot and it looked bad.. We were sperated for few weeks: however, he told me he wanted to break up with me. I was upset and very confused... I was crying and hurtful. I realized I was totally idioit and shame of myself. I tried to get him back but unforunately, I was out of control by getting drunk. It already hurt him even worse. I learned that I have deeply care and loved for him same as with first one. I've seen it clearly and it makes senses. After break-up, I was very sad and disappointed in myself. However, I have to accept it and start thinking how it really changes my life completely. I am happy in fact I have new life with job and college. Also, I m very involved in acitivities and social life. Things are keeping me busy and looking forward into my future.
As long as I am gaining awareness of relationship experience is take a step to next and it will get better. Good thing is learning lesson from break-up expereince can change my life completely. Unforunately, break-up is hard things to deal becuase it affects individual's emotion and feeling. Do I make any sense? If you disagree with me, then explain your point of this issue.
One long-term bf which I have been with for 3 yrs and I didn't have feeling for him. He is hearing and knowing ASL very well. Our communication was great. I know he was wonderful guy but he isn't my type. In 1 or 11/2 year later, I lost my interest in him and felt unhappy with him. I wanted to break-up with him so bad. I've learned that I never have explained why. I had to hide the truth and didn't want to hurt his feeling. Finally, our arguement had started and I told him I decided to break up with him. He was shocked. However, he was very upset and crying. I realized that he was hurt so badly. His feeling was deeply care and loved for me and it broke his heart so easily. I didn't have exact feeling like him. I moved to back my hometown and in few days later, I explaned everything composing in email to him and he didn't have anything to said. It seemed he accepted in fact we broke up. End up our relationship, I felt great and happy for being single again and started to move on.
Second, I've met deaf and young boyfriend and I was very happy with him. I learned that he has members of family are deaf and some hearing. His 6th generation in families. I found his faimily very interesting and unlike my family which are all hearing. I am one only deaf in whole. I knew his brother from school. After 3 months, we argued a lot and it looked bad.. We were sperated for few weeks: however, he told me he wanted to break up with me. I was upset and very confused... I was crying and hurtful. I realized I was totally idioit and shame of myself. I tried to get him back but unforunately, I was out of control by getting drunk. It already hurt him even worse. I learned that I have deeply care and loved for him same as with first one. I've seen it clearly and it makes senses. After break-up, I was very sad and disappointed in myself. However, I have to accept it and start thinking how it really changes my life completely. I am happy in fact I have new life with job and college. Also, I m very involved in acitivities and social life. Things are keeping me busy and looking forward into my future.
As long as I am gaining awareness of relationship experience is take a step to next and it will get better. Good thing is learning lesson from break-up expereince can change my life completely. Unforunately, break-up is hard things to deal becuase it affects individual's emotion and feeling. Do I make any sense? If you disagree with me, then explain your point of this issue.
Sailor Aurora
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Heh. I've only had internet relationships so far, since there wasn't anybody at NDSD (North Dakota for The Deaf) that I was really interested in at all when I was like in high school....
In addition, so far I had not met anybody else when I graduated.
Still, Those Internet relationships were special to me in their own ways. Although I have to say, my first Internet relationship was straight out of hell. LOL
The first online boyfriend I had was from India, and to me it was just something light-hearted and funs, considering I was only like 16 at the time... I was not serious about that kind of thing. However, he was VERY serious about it... he felt more strongly about our relationship than I did... he even told me that it would be so nice if we got married one day. In addition, when I started dropping small, not so obvious hints that I was not as interested in him as if he was with me, he started acting VERY odd...
Moreover, even going to the point where he got a little obsessed with me and doing some things that frightened me very much. One time, on our usual webcam-ing session together he actually took this large knife and carved out my name on his flesh to show his devotion to me.
While I might be a Goth that finds blood and other dark things very appealing, that sort of thing was still too much for me. So both for our good, I had to break it off even though he tried to use emotional blackmail such as how he’d commit suicide if I broke up with him.
I broke up with him and he did not commit suicide as he said he would. Even to this day he still IMs me occasionally although not as much as we used to. He gets a little bitter now and then, but he seems to be normal now… I guess people from the Middle East takes their relationship a little too seriously. :-\ Not all of them, but some of them…and most of them makes a big deal about girls and boys holding hands… imagine when it gets to a level where they are speaking intimately.
Ever since then, I’ve been a little more careful about the men and or women I choose online… since there’s no physical contact, and it’s simply an intimate way of many minds to get together. I have to make sure that the other person agrees that it’s just some fun and bonding between very good friends in a way where they might become more than that. yet, it has to be light-hearted, and not taken too seriously.
Moreover, in that process of having online relationships like that, I have made some very good best friends online. It is great in finding good kindred spirits.
Although I must say at times, I do get a little hurt when some people that no longer becomes interested, and decide to block me, and never speak to me again without telling me. Then I am left wondering what happen to them, why they were not coming online as much… and then I worry that maybe something bad happened to them. Then of course my other thought is that they blocked me… but not even telling me why?
That really kind of hurts. :-\
In addition, so far I had not met anybody else when I graduated.
Still, Those Internet relationships were special to me in their own ways. Although I have to say, my first Internet relationship was straight out of hell. LOL
The first online boyfriend I had was from India, and to me it was just something light-hearted and funs, considering I was only like 16 at the time... I was not serious about that kind of thing. However, he was VERY serious about it... he felt more strongly about our relationship than I did... he even told me that it would be so nice if we got married one day. In addition, when I started dropping small, not so obvious hints that I was not as interested in him as if he was with me, he started acting VERY odd...
Moreover, even going to the point where he got a little obsessed with me and doing some things that frightened me very much. One time, on our usual webcam-ing session together he actually took this large knife and carved out my name on his flesh to show his devotion to me.
While I might be a Goth that finds blood and other dark things very appealing, that sort of thing was still too much for me. So both for our good, I had to break it off even though he tried to use emotional blackmail such as how he’d commit suicide if I broke up with him.
I broke up with him and he did not commit suicide as he said he would. Even to this day he still IMs me occasionally although not as much as we used to. He gets a little bitter now and then, but he seems to be normal now… I guess people from the Middle East takes their relationship a little too seriously. :-\ Not all of them, but some of them…and most of them makes a big deal about girls and boys holding hands… imagine when it gets to a level where they are speaking intimately.
Ever since then, I’ve been a little more careful about the men and or women I choose online… since there’s no physical contact, and it’s simply an intimate way of many minds to get together. I have to make sure that the other person agrees that it’s just some fun and bonding between very good friends in a way where they might become more than that. yet, it has to be light-hearted, and not taken too seriously.
Moreover, in that process of having online relationships like that, I have made some very good best friends online. It is great in finding good kindred spirits.
Although I must say at times, I do get a little hurt when some people that no longer becomes interested, and decide to block me, and never speak to me again without telling me. Then I am left wondering what happen to them, why they were not coming online as much… and then I worry that maybe something bad happened to them. Then of course my other thought is that they blocked me… but not even telling me why?
That really kind of hurts. :-\
javapride
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4 relationships from hell and no im single and i decided to not have any relationship for a while im not into talking abt the past but i can tell u two relationships i have had has been much publized so most of u may know abt this, the other two pretty much died down and one i m not going to go into talking abt it right now... as the person is a member here.....
whodatshroom
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deafpride said:
Well, I'm bi sexual. I had a girlfriend who I was really crazy for when I was in high school. She was like...everything that a guy couldn't be. I adored her alot. But then things just started to change, we fought more. It started to fall apart. She constantly thought I was going to leave her for a guy. Well finally one day I told her that we couldn't be together anymore. I couldn't be with someone who was always jealous and paranoid about me hanging with guys and so on. We stopped talking for a little while but now we're friends and I talk to her every chance I get. She's still a wonderful girl.
G
Gemtun
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Been in so many relationships that Ive lost count of.
But no regrets..each one taught me many things and I walked away, more wiser and enlightened. Best to chalk up each ending as a time of questioning "why didn't it work out, how can i apply that experience to my future relationships, and so on".
I think the older you get, the easier you can handle a breakup. First love is the most traumatic of all. Have no desire to rehash that here LOL
But no regrets..each one taught me many things and I walked away, more wiser and enlightened. Best to chalk up each ending as a time of questioning "why didn't it work out, how can i apply that experience to my future relationships, and so on".
I think the older you get, the easier you can handle a breakup. First love is the most traumatic of all. Have no desire to rehash that here LOL
Sailor Aurora
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Meg said:
I argee.. whenever it's online or real life, it's the same thing for many people.
I certainly know my first online relatiship was hard enough.
but now I'm inloved with a very nice girl who often knows how to make me laugh.
BigSpike
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Meg said:
Of course the years we experience different kind of form relationship with boyfriend or girlfriend can gain the better understanding...I was taught once you ages as your understanding gain!
One of my ex girlfriend we went out together for pretty long time...we are close as heck like glued to each other...but of course we arent possesive to each other but our love deeps....until she asked to call it off because she have to move away and she have new boyfriend...it was one of most tramatic moment I had experienced. This my ex girlfriend and I still keep in touch as good friend but sometime it wasnt easy..it took years to heal and conquers the emotional. Then one other ex, she used me to fill her emotional love becuz her ex was in jail until her ex got out of jail and she dumped me for good...it wrecked my emotional but indeed it did changed my life forever how I view the relationship. More I approach women and more I become well shielded and know what to say and not to say. I must admit it I have a lot of women friends more than men but I am still blunting person in friendly way...my friends called me this I am toooo MELLOW with women...they are true but inside who I am is different! Smile...it is how I gained understanding about breakups and relationship, everything!
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