Being a kid and growing up..

P

pinkster

Guest
Do you agree with this?

"When you're young, your whole life is about the pursuit of fun. Then you grow up and learn to be cautious. You could break a bone or a heart. You look before you leap and sometimes you don't leap at all because there's not always someone there to catch you. And, in life there's no safety net. When did it stop being fun and start being scary?"

- From "Sex and the City"


I do.. Here's a lil something from my heart :) Just kinda feel like venting or whatever you guys call it..

I got this off of a friend's site, it totally hit home with me. In the last year and a half I have turned a 180, I think. When i graduated from high school I was a total freak - I did what I wanted and I didnt care who I hurt. I did some pretty bad things, but I know i did some good things too. I would just do things as they came, a week in Rhode Island, went to Chicago the day after i got back, only for a day. I took endless trips with Tinystrawberry, not caring where we went or why, or even how. I broke my heart a hundred times (ok maybe not a hundred but many) and then when I thought I was happy, I wasnt. I hated my life and how boring it was, I hated the fact I did nothing but work and come home. I felt like i was a disappointment to everyone around me. And then I decided to move out, and eventually go back to school. In the last year I feel like I have grown so much, and that I have become so much more responsible. I try to do the things I know are right, and I try to do everything the best I can. My teacher said, "you really are your worst critic," when I said I thought my last paper was a piece of crap. (Which I got an A on, by the way.) I strive to be a better person, and then when I come home I want to be that person, you know? Im constantly changing myself so that I can find where it is I really want to be, and how I want to be.

I want to stay in love, I want to be with someone always, I want to be successful in some way, I want to publish my poems someday. I also want a family, my own house, a yard that I can try to garden in, I want the time to sit and do nothing for more than just one day. You cant fit all the laundry and play time in just one Sunday a week, you know. I want to be happy in all ways - with my friends, my relationships, my family.

Is that too much to ask for? Sometimes I think it is. I mean, I'm not really being the best I can be right now, seeing how Im at work and I have 15 mins before I go. I looked at myself in the mirror today, I know I'm losing weight (from all that biking due to the bus strike) but I feel so old. My hands look all dry and weathered, I am always tired. I want to cuddle at night with Megladon and do absolutley nothing but watch tv, but all I can do is fall asleep the moment I crawl into bed when he says, "just one minute."

I guess that's what it means to be 20.


--

Yeah.. =/
 
yeah, I agree with the quote from Sex and the City.. I love that Show.. heh!


Am I Suppose to talk about myself Growing up?


I don't think you are venting.. It's more like telling Ur Daily Life what u Do everyday and not being able to Go out and do things cuz your life is full at the moment...Do I make Sense to You? :P
 
Cheri said:
I don't think you are venting.. It's more like telling Ur Daily Life what u Do everyday and not being able to Go out and do things cuz your life is full at the moment...Do I make Sense to You? :P

I think I'm just complaining, trying to find what i need to realize, I dont know. I just wanted to get it off my chest.
 
sometimes when I buy something from punk store it makes me feel I'm still 17 somehow but I'm about to hit 26 in few months from now :roll: but eventually I'll grow out of it sooner or later ;) but yeah too many issues that i sometimes have to confront with but eh.. it'll hit in my face sooner or later..
 
:confused:

pinkster said:
Do you agree with this?
I broke my heart a hundred times (ok maybe not a hundred but many) and then when I thought I was happy, I wasnt. I hated my life and how boring it was, I hated the fact I did nothing but work and come home. I felt like i was a disappointment to everyone around me. And then I decided to move out, and eventually go back to school. In the last year I feel like I have grown so much, and that I have become so much more responsible. I try to do the things I know are right, and I try to do everything the best I can. My teacher said, "you really are your worst critic," when I said I thought my last paper was a piece of crap. (Which I got an A on, by the way.) I strive to be a better person, and then when I come home I want to be that person, you know? Im constantly changing myself so that I can find where it is I really want to be, and how I want to be.

I want to stay in love, I want to be with someone always, I want to be successful in some way, I want to publish my poems someday. I also want a family, my own house, a yard that I can try to garden in, I want the time to sit and do nothing for more than just one day. You cant fit all the laundry and play time in just one Sunday a week, you know. I want to be happy in all ways - with my friends, my relationships, my family.

I guess that's what it means to be 20.

--

Yeah.. =/

u aint only one... i m the same even i m 20.. hating myself and my life cos its not who i wanted to be or what to be, but i dont really know whats wrong... but yet, the time is still there, u have plenty to think everything out til you got ur goal in correct path, it takes a while..
i understands how u feel about ur life being too fast as u want to steady it down a lil. this time of a year of 2004 today, im still firguring out who i am or was.. and how can i change back who i was or whatever that inside me.
i always ask myself "why do i have to hate myself even i knew that i do love myself, but my life is completing frustrating." and i did ask that to my good friend, he knows me pretty well, too. and tell me that i still have time to think awhile til i finish school, also school is frustrating me, too because i was highly hoping that i can FINISH school with AAs degree but i dont know when can i do that. see... there too many of buts and ifs'

what had been confusing me so much is: Friendship, Love, Life, school, and inner child of my own- as i dont know who i am.

regretly, everyone's favorite word as always.... "WHY" :doh: geez, thats sucks so much...
 
pinkster said:
I think I'm just complaining, trying to find what i need to realize, I dont know. I just wanted to get it off my chest.


It was Not so Bad about it....At Least you said it in a nice way. Getting things off your chest is good... :applause:
 
Well, it sounds pretty ordinary like everybody else, much like my life, i just go to work and come home and do chores, on weekends, grocery shopping and cleaning the house...sounds pretty boring but thats LIFE! haha..my husband has to work overtime just about every weekend..so when he a free weekend, we go and have FUN! it could be anything like going out of town and spend the night and go out to eat and shop..its a nice break and stress relief for us..sometimes we do something weird like go to some old cemetaries! LOL! we take our dog and we wander around looking at headstones..some were very very old! pretty interesting..we always speculate on that old old gravesite and wonder what kind of like he/she had!
we find some pretty interesting things too..we even found a gravesite of this couple who were murdered by their evil devil worshipper son, he came home late at night and shot them to death as they lay sleeping in bed! He was later executed for that crime..His name was Sean Sellers..he changed his ways before he was executed..he became Christian!! oh yeah, we go to antique shops just to look around..what im saying, there are some things that are free, that you can just get away and explore or whatever fancy you!
 
I know how you feel... I mean, Christ, I just turned 18 yesterday, I'm still in high school, and I already feel as if I've done everything there is to be done in life and the only thing I have to look forward to is work. I've already experienced college-I'm an ECS student... I've been accepted to UT of Austin for Spring 04, but I still feel like everything that was worth living for has already happened and the future only holds boring, bleak things. Why couldn't we all be rich and famous? Life'd be a lot more interesting! :)
 
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