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I grew up in a culturally Jewish household where we lit the menorah mostly when I was a young kid. I'm an only child. We have a pic. of me and my zaydeh < OBM; grandpa> when I was about 7 lighting the candles. My folks allowed me to choose as young child if I wanted to be involved with institutional/religious Judaism or not, because they did not want me to become embittered by forceful practice and feel more likely to return to it later if I wanted <which I have>. I went once or twice as a little girl to a Reform synagogue and to a Sunday School and thought at the time for me, it was stupid and told my folks so. They were like, ok, let her drop it, so I did.
So in our house there was some Yiddish and the traditional Askenazic foods and strong emphasis on tikkum olam in terms of social justice, strong feminism, public education and union activism, and learning about multicultural and inclusion. One of my earliest childhood memories is my mom was on a PTA textbook committee and she was to look through possible school texts and see if there were pictures of men and women in different roles, and people of various ethnicities and background, people using wheelchairs doing everyday things and working <as opposed to only recipients of services> , etc So she explained what she was doing and asked if I wanted to help and so we looked through the books together. She also wrote and edited newsletters and was a member of the NAACP and involved in various protests and meetings at state and national levels, some of which I went to.
One time at my grade school, there was an accommodation situation with a boy with severe CP or some other severe mobility issue, who used a wheelchair for long trips and throughout the day in school. He could walk with a great amount of difficulty and assistance. His chair was a typical rigid, late 70's kid's non-athletic chair for someone with very limited use of their limbs. He originally was not going to be able to go on our field trip to an outdoor educational nature park in our area because there allegedly wasn't an aide, or enough aides and his chair was an issue...or something...I was 9 or so - my mom got very upset and decided that she would go with and help him so he could go on the trip too.
Though some Jews do, we did not have a Christmas tree as my dad, whose family was originally Orthodox <in his years as a very young child; they moved to Conservative later> was not comfortable with it. My dad was bar mitzvah; my mom was confirmed. My mom - raised in a very assimilated German-Hungarian Jewish household where Yiddish was a "dirty language" - wouldn't have minded.
My dad remembers as boy, his parents poke Russian specifically when they didn't want him to understand something. Also Yiddish and Hebrew and English at other times. They went to Texas for a while as recommended by family doc. at that time for health reasons relating to my dad's younger sister. In Texas they met up with the Klan for the first time.
I had friends of various backgrounds, and Jewish friends and acquaintances who were Orthodox and kept kosher; we'd sometimes go to their homes and I remember the smell of the latkes and oil and the dreidel game.
The neighbors around us would have their Christmas lights and later those Easter baskets...my dad and I would walk around during the Christmas time, me holding his hand...we'd walk around looking at the people's decorations and talking about the lights and colors and sharing time together.
Once I asked my folks why we didn't have Easter baskets...nu, we're Jews, they said.
I always feel ambivalent around the December holidays because I'm so bombarded with all the Christmas stuff...but then, that's what many in this country do. I know very well that tree itself is technically a pagan symbol but I suppose I've fallen also to the specific "Christmas tree" idea. I'm pretty open about responding "I'm Jewish" if someone wishes me "Merry Christmas" but for me it depends on context, too.
My hubby's and my house - we don't have a tree or any decorations. Since Hanukkah wasn't a huge part of my life as a kid < we stopped really doing anything there when I got to high school>, I've never developed a habit of putting out the menorah...folks and I spend more time with the Jewish High Holy Days, earlier in the Fall. I identify as Jewish pagan.
I think true multicultural education and initiative is very important - not tokenism.
