Barney Will Save the World

Barney

Barney

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Dec 22, 2005
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I am going to save the world from destruction. I am here to serve you as a one-man (or actually one-dildo) think tank capable of solving any problem. All you have to do is tell me what your problem is and I will solve it for you. It can be something as insignificant as an infected boil on your ass, to something as serious as global terrorism. The key to all of the world’s ills lies in the fetid depths of Cheri’s sock drawer between a half-empty bottle of peppermint schnapps and the June 1980 John Holmes issue of Playgirl Magazine. So fire away—give me any problem, and with the help of one of those humungous Costco packs of D cells, I will solve it.

Love ya all,

Barney

:type:
 
How about you repair my toaster, sadly - it has been suffering problems.
 
Oh oy, that purple pukefurball is back.... Barney, dude ya need to go out to pasture and graze among the horny cows.. .simple enough... or go up a gal's ya-know-where!!! (aint gonna say it in here as it is general section!!!!!)
 
Where do the socks go when I put them in the dryer? :scratch:
 
Hello Barney! Welcome back!
 
Welcome back Barney! Been a while, guess you been real busy operating.
 
JClarke said:
How about you repair my toaster, sadly - it has been suffering problems.
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Take it out and shoot it. Barney hates toasters because they get more respect and attention than he does. I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again: dildos are de facto household appliances, and it is time that you treated us as such. Until this day comes, I say dildos rule and toasters drool. They do not deserve to live. So bash it with a sledgehammer. Problem solved.

Barney

:type:
 
Did you ever get washed and cleaned in a dishwasher after being used and operated? And how did it feel when you were there?
 
My finger polish is not long lasting, any suggestions?:giggle:
 
*smack self on forehead* I thought you retired.
 
Oceanblue7 said:
My finger polish is not long lasting, any suggestions?:giggle:
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Buy a purple vibrator. Your finger polish is wearing off because you diddle yourself too much. Remember—never send your fingers to do the Big Toy's job. And stop trying to pleasure yourself with your iPhone. There's no app for that.

Barney

:type:
 
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