Babies are born liars

CorasMama said:
Yeah. That.

Seriously, just because a baby isn't in physical distress, eg. pain, hunger, wet, doesn't mean they don't have a need that must be met. There are emotional/psychological/spiritual needs, too, like being picked up, held, played with. Trying to get these needs met by communicating in the only way they can is NOT manipulation or deception. They have (hopefully, if they have good parents) learned that if they cry, the parent(s) will attend to them.

And sometimes babies continue to cry even when held. They may be frustrated about something, still scared about that big dog they saw yesterday, or they don't like the color of the shirt they're wearing. It doesn't mean they shouldn't still be held.

We all know how frustrating it is to not be able to communicate with someone. Now imagine that the person you can't communicate with is the one who competely controls what/when/if you eat, play, sit, lay down, do anything. So they get frustrated. I don't blame them.

BABIES AREN'T DECEPTIVE, or MANIPULATIVE. Period.
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You don't know how babies tick? My son, when he was a baby, like to be held a lot and cry a lot. When he became a toddler, he was spoil and manipulative, because I was feeling sorry for my only son, not be able to have brothers or sisters to play with, so I spoil him which is my fault. Also I thought maybe he is testing me for my reaction to his needs. He is a very smart con artist when he come to me as an single parent. I am glad it is over now that he is already 31 years old. He has children of his own and he got problems with them and understand where I stand with him when he was a toddler. He said that he was sorry that he had given me lot of problems like this. I accepted his apology. How times fly. Whoa. First time parents are hard to raise kid but later for the second to the latter and you learn something from the first, I think. Every kids are different in their personalities. We learn that the hard way. :giggle:
 
R2D2 said:
How can it be possible for babies to be "deceptive" when they do not develop theory of mind until around the age of 4? Deception implies that the babies are aware of how their parents think and try and manipulate that. Babies aren't even aware that parents are a separate entity to them.

I think with the crying/tantrums - they learn to cry because they learn that it produces a Pavlovian response. I'm hungry, I cry, I get fed. That is normal, learned human behaviour and as a matter of fact it's critical for healthy brain development. It's not bad unless it is allowed to get out of control. In some cases where babies are left to cry and cry with very little response, development can be held back. Babies in Romanian orphanages are extreme examples of this happening.
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You are exactly right. This is why I cringe when I hear about the theory of letting babies cry to sleep so they can "learn" how to sleep on their own in their cribs. :/
 
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