This, of course is based on what I have personally observed at one particular Deaf school, so it isn't really generalizable; but the school my son attended had several students who were implanted, many of them pediatric implantations. All of these children also signed, and all of these parents also signed. The ones that I am still in contact with three years later are very connected to the Deaf community, use ASL as their primary mode of communication, but are capable of and will code switch to PSE or speech when necessary to facilitate communication. If you ask them how they ID, they will tell you as Deaf.
I personally believe that these young adults have been able to find their identity and become comfortable with it because they spent those years in an environment that was supportive and challenging (the Deaf school). The parents have been allowed to see first hand the benefits to their children, and as a consequence, support the kids id as Deaf.
Many, many children who were raised as oral, and had relatively successful academic careers through high school have experiences in college or after their education that places them in a position, for the first time, of having actual contact with the deaf community and their language. These are people that have been judged as oral successes, have been able to function in a hearing world, yet when they are finally exposed tothe Deaf community and sign language experience a great sense of having missed out on something alll of their lives. These are the deaf adults that make comments such as, "My parents gave me a good life and did everything they could to make things easier for me, but I always felt different. I never felt that I fit in." When they find the Deaf community and the language that is theirs by birthright, they find the part of their identity that makes them whole. This board is full of posters who were not raised with exposure to the signing Deaf community, yet have found it as adults. And they are all grateful for having done so. Why do we continue to insist that our deaf children do not need this experience? Why are we, as parents willing to settle for providing our children with less than is required for optimal development? It seems that we are willing to settle for any superficial sign of success--my child speaks, my child doesn't need sign, my child is reading well in public school--and ignore that these are only surface measurements? We do this over and over with our kids, and then, when the kids grow up and gravitate toward the signing Deaf community, or marry another deaf individual, we are surprized. Wake up, people. Deaf children are people first, deaf second. They have the same socialization and emotional needs as any other child. They need acceptance, and self esteem, and the message that they are valuable, and their value is not dependent upon their ability to superficially appear to be something they are not. They need to develop their identity at an age appropriate time, and not when they are 25 or more years old. Without it, no other form of therapy or assistive devise will make any changes in the lives of these kids. Being able to speak, having a CI, using HA--none of it makes for a happy well adjusted adult when the focus is always on the deafness because then the focus is always on what is missing.