ASL video

[OpheliaSpeaks]

Here is my video of my interpretation of "Ironic" from my post the other day.
Here are the lyrics:

"Ironic"

An old man turned ninety-eight
He won the lottery and died the next day
It's a black fly in your Chardonnay
It's a death row pardon two minutes too late
And isn't it ironic... don't you think

It's like rain on your wedding day
It's a free ride when you've already paid
It's the good advice that you just didn't take
Who would've thought... it figures

Mr. Play It Safe was afraid to fly
He packed his suitcase and kissed his kids goodbye
He waited his whole damn life to take that flight
And as the plane crashed down he thought
"Well isn't this nice..."
And isn't it ironic... don't you think

It's like rain on your wedding day
It's a free ride when you've already paid
It's the good advice that you just didn't take
Who would've thought... it figures

Well life has a funny way of sneaking up on you
When you think everything's okay and everything's going right
And life has a funny way of helping you out when
You think everything's gone wrong and everything blows up
In your face

A traffic jam when you're already late
A no-smoking sign on your cigarette break
It's like ten thousand spoons when all you need is a knife
It's meeting the man of my dreams
And then meeting his beautiful wife
And isn't it ironic...don't you think
A little too ironic...and, yeah, I really do think...

It's like rain on your wedding day
It's a free ride when you've already paid
It's the good advice that you just didn't take
Who would've thought... it figures


The parts I put in bold are the parts my teacher suggested I change a bit to make them more visual or more clear.


MOVIE!

 

[signer16]

Some Suggestions

Be careful about how you sign WINE-- get those fingers up straight or it kinda looks like you're signing DIZZY on the wrong part of your face.

A pardon is from a president or governor, not a judge, and usually is signed like EXCUSE. Also, though I love the attempt to be visual, the concept of people lined up and almost "taking turns" to go get excused is kinda odd.

All-day is usually signed as ALL-DAY(know that sign?) as opposed to ALL and then DAY.

Free ride that you've already paid is tough but first of all, for it to be ironic, and clear in ASL, you need to sign what you did first (like work for the ticket) and then what happened (found out it was free).
What about "WANT GO EVENT, BUY TICKET, ARRIVE FIND(out) FREE (appropriate facial expression for all of this)
Or if you want it to be more literally a ride -- BUY TICKET FOR RIDE, LATER FIND(OUT) SHOULD FREE (frustrated head nod after this)

ADVICE is signed with the thumb under the 4 fingers like the handshape of lights-turning-on but your movement is right. I would also sign it toward myself and either IGNORE (4 handshape, btw) toward the advice given.

Your plane section is Phenomenal! Leave it.

IRONIC--err well, I know it's a creative translation, but one time-- and even then don't cross your hands too far.

Also, saw it before "WILL THINK WHO" doesn't really make sense.. even though it's closer to English "WHO WILL PREDICT (THAT)" may be a better choice

I love the sign for it figures-- it SO FITS!

The pop-up, pop-up, pop-up, is great, though a little more expression and a sign tying it all together would be great like popupx3 MESS-UP or something like that.

Okay-- I see why your teacher had a problem with the life has a funny way. First of all your sign for MESS-UP is being produced backwards-- looks like you are signing something more like laundry than MESS-UP.

My suggestion for this--hmm maybe : WORSE, WORSE, STRESS, FEEL BEAR-WITH CANT (it) HELP-ME FEEL RELIEF-- just an idea, and you have to string it right.

For a transation back to ironics I would include during the interlude
(okay...)
OR-- signing this will be a better transition
(traffic jam)

Traffic jam-- though it can be signed both ways (the way you did it and the way I am about to describe it) it is more common with the flat five hands-- and you can sign the flat-fives and then show the slllloooow movement forward

more clear with HAPPENs throught the song-- it describe the ironics like HAPPEN (wake up late) or HAPPEN PLAN SMOKE-(maybe the gesture of lighting up) LOOK-UP SEE SIGN SMOKE BANNED (show frustration)

for the "all you need is a knife" what about SEARCH KNIFE (tossout, tossout, like going through giantic drawer) SPOON SPOON SPOON BUT KNIFE NONE(any none, but I imagine the blow-at-hands as they cross in front of face one-- err, if that makes sense)

Don't you think I would sign YOU AGREE and the reponse "(AGREE) TRUE-BIZ IRONIC."

Okay-- I know this is a lot of feedback but I hope it helps, let me know!!!

 

[OpheliaSpeaks]

Thanks so much for taking the time to critique my video! It is much appreciated. I was actually more nervous about making sure I stayed with the music (I am hard of hearing) at class. At home I used a CC'd version to help.

I'll have to think of another way for the death row pardon. My teacher liked it, but I agree that it is a bit odd.

I like your explanation for the "free ride". I was actually going to use something similar, but thought it didn't explain the concept well enough. I should focus on explaining the irony better.

Thanks for the "advice" critique - I will use it!

My teacher also said that my sign for "ironic" looked a bit too much like the sign for "alcohol"

I am going to work on the song more with my tutor and use some of your suggestions and re-post the video!

 

[Mrs Bucket]

I saw the video and must admit that since you were swaying towards with the music made viewing your hands a bit hard. A suggestion if I can offer - wear black and stand straight. It does help.

 

[OpheliaSpeaks]

I saw the video and must admit that since you were swaying towards with the music made viewing your hands a bit hard. A suggestion if I can offer - wear black and stand straight. It does help.

Thanks! It was a "spur of the moment" decision to record and post it. Since I was asking for help with the interpreting, I thought I'd show everyone what I had so far. I appreciate your input!

 

[Hen]

I agree, any performance should have a solid contrasting color shirt worn for it. That's your backdrop for your hands, make sure you showcase them well.

+ I left other comments in your other thread

 

[signer16]

Thanks so much for taking the time to critique my video! It is much appreciated. I was actually more nervous about making sure I stayed with the music (I am hard of hearing) at class. At home I used a CC'd version to help.

No problem! Why not use the CC'd version in class? Surely someone has a laptop and would allow you to do that. No reason you should have to struggle for not being able to hear in an ASL class!

I'll have to think of another way for the death row pardon. My teacher liked it, but I agree that it is a bit odd.

What about HAPPEN PERSON COURT PUNISH DIE -JUST-AFTER (show just on your face, don't explicitly sign it) DIE GOVERNMENT PARDON -- Does that work?

My teacher also said that my sign for "ironic" looked a bit too much like the sign for "alcohol"

I am going to work on the song more with my tutor and use some of your suggestions and re-post the video!

You're welcome! Good Luck!

 

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