Arranged marriage vs Love marriage

Pranavdroid said:
True that though
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yes it is true...We in West are shown negative side forced marriage child etc..A true arranged marriage nothing like that..
 
caz said:
yes it is true...We in West are shown negative side forced marriage child etc..A true arranged marriage nothing like that..
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Oh what age is legal to marry a girl in the US? Here in kerala has banned marrying under 18 recently though also the alcoholic (bar) has banned by the govt you can see a news in Google
 
legal age for marriage is 18 in 49 of the 50 US states- Nebraska's is 19. Some states allow 16-17 year olds to marry with parental consent.
 
There a place big town foothill of Himalayas the mayor has so many wives that they sleep in dormitories most of the marriages are arranged sounds awful but the twist it Christian it also known be happiest town in world.Educatiion the best in India and mandatory but no one is forced
 
The advantages of arranged marriages is that parents try to make a match that will be compatible in family values, finance, etc. Where as falling in love and getting married can leave some of those compatibility categories unchecked. The downside is with physical attraction being left to chance though.

In my opinion, lots of people get married prematurely for love, without getting passed the initial hormone drive stage of love. Later they find out that the person they were physically in love with doesn't really share the same values, has different financial strategies, or different life goals, etc. And they simply can't stand living with them every day (even though the nights might be full of passion). Sometimes they realize this going in, but think they can change the person, or that they'll only be that way temporarily, but people aren't usually changed so easily... The little things that annoy you in the beginning will drive you nuts later.

Compatibility goes beyond either of those though. You have to be physically attracted to your mate, and you have to share values and life goals. The best answer, in my opinion, is a slow process by which you get to know someone, get past the pure hormone stage, and really find that you're compatible. Values and finances... they're important for a marriage to succeed, probably more important than sexual chemistry for long term success, but having both would be ideal.
 
believe me passion can go very quickly when you find out what and who that person is..I think we in the west are very judgemental of ways things are done in India there are a lot of bad marriages but no more than anywhere else proberly less.Sex is not surppose be most important thing but guess it must bc children are important
People blessed to find perfect mate if one exists
 
caz said:
believe me passion can go very quickly when you find out what and who that person is..I think we in the west are very judgemental of ways things are done in India there are a lot of bad marriages but no more than anywhere else proberly less.Sex is not surppose be most important thing but guess it must bc children are important
People blessed to find perfect mate if one exists
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Passion is fleeting, I agree. Having core beliefs in common makes things easier, but having both of those, passion and core beliefs, I think that gives you the greatest chance for success. The passion helps form a fast bond, then the common core beliefs help sustain it.

"Perfect" as most people think of it is kind of just an illusion. We change so much as we age; a perfect relationship... I don't know what that really is. I like to think it involves compromise, listening, and caring as much as possible. Being able to take a heated argument, level it out, and come to an understanding between both people where you can look at each other and still want to hug, that's what makes a marriage last. It's getting through the rough spots, working with each other instead of against each other. When core beliefs are shared, I think that's a lot easier to do than when they're wildly different.
 
Marry the best friend is highly chance the marriage stay forever.
 
Nic said:
Passion is fleeting, I agree. Having core beliefs in common makes things easier, but having both of those, passion and core beliefs, I think that gives you the greatest chance for success. The passion helps form a fast bond, then the common core beliefs help sustain it.

"Perfect" as most people think of it is kind of just an illusion. We change so much as we age; a perfect relationship... I don't know what that really is. I like to think it involves compromise, listening, and caring as much as possible. Being able to take a heated argument, level it out, and come to an understanding between both people where you can look at each other and still want to hug, that's what makes a marriage last. It's getting through the rough spots, working with each other instead of against each other. When core beliefs are shared, I think that's a lot easier to do than when they're wildly different.
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for me my husband is my friend and dad to my children I am very fond of him and I guess he loves me in his way visa versa he is good good man but he is gay so after last child we decided live our lives still together but seperatly..We proberly have better life we not clipped at hip like many couples are he do anything I wanted but he has part of his life I don't share and don't want to
 
caz said:
for me my husband is my friend and dad to my children I am very fond of him and I guess he loves me in his way visa versa he is good good man but he is gay so after last child we decided live our lives still together but seperatly..We proberly have better life we not clipped at hip like many couples are he do anything I wanted but he has part of his life I don't share and don't want to
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I think it's really cool when a couple that's been together stays friends in spite of a separation. I mean to have gotten married you clearly loved each other, so why throw it away completely? I think love comes in lots of forms, and people change over time, but that love doesn't seem to ever really go away.

The ones who can't stay friends, I think they just don't want to. That makes sense too, it'd be hard to have such an important relationship change so much but still be close, but not as close as you want. I think either way is good, just depends on the people and what works for them.
 
Nic said:
I think it's really cool when a couple that's been together stays friends in spite of a separation. I mean to have gotten married you clearly loved each other, so why throw it away completely? I think love comes in lots of forms, and people change over time, but that love doesn't seem to ever really go away.

The ones who can't stay friends, I think they just don't want to. That makes sense too, it'd be hard to have such an important relationship change so much but still be close, but not as close as you want. I think either way is good, just depends on the people and what works for them.
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we like brother and sister happy with that and like many brother/sister we have blazing rows then we totally forget what they were about..People who say they never had cross word in marriage have got a boring one but if they happy then fair play.
Little village called Dunmow Essex England if you can prove never had row in fifteen years you get a flitch of ham/bacon,how they prove no idea but it a custom 100s of years old
 
caz said:
we like brother and sister happy with that and like many brother/sister we have blazing rows then we totally forget what they were about..People who say they never had cross word in marriage have got a boring one but if they happy then fair play.
Little village called Dunmow Essex England if you can prove never had row in fifteen years you get a flitch of ham/bacon,how they prove no idea but it a custom 100s of years old
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I think it's really cool that you guys get along like that. I think my wife and I have a pretty solid relationship, founded in a strong friendship and of course we have spats. It's just about making up and still being friends after.

I can't imagine what a marriage with no spats is like. Would those people live apart 90% of the time or are they just the world's most calm or passive people ever? Living in the same space as anyone for an extended period of time is bound to result in at least minor fights sometimes.

That's a funny tradition about the Ham.
 
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