Argh! People in denial!

ASLGAL

ASLGAL

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Perhaps it is me, because I consider myself in deaf culture, but I'll beg you all to read and comment...

Last Saturday Ran256 and I attended a required seminar for people with hearing loss. Since OhioVRS helped with the purchase of Ran256's HAs it was stated that you had to attend to get the benefit. This in itself was not the problem as we are very appreciative that assistance was available and we qualified for it.

Here is the thing.

We get there and there were many couples and several singles.
The set up was room FM system and CART(Captioning in Real Time)
The lady facilitating was nice enough but she stated many times "I have a hearing loss but I am not deaf and I speak perfect English" and if we tried to interject anything about signing or other knowlege she rebuffed it "Oh, that is for deaf people" and stated many times that it was necessary for the participants to lipread.
She had two hearing aids and would approach very near with a microphone to speak to you and you were handed a microphone to speak in return, she would then turn to the CART screen to see what you said and then answer it.
It was obvious to me that she is deaf and does not speak perfect English but is in denial.
There were discussions about life with hearing loss and each time anything other than lipreading or deafness was brought up she either rebuffed it or moved on.
We started speaking of family issues (we have discussed that here a lot) there was a man there with his wife - he started talking about her like she wasn't even there - stating that she withdrawls and she has low self esteem and she makes the family uncomfortable. I just couldn't stand it, I felt so heartsick for her because if he states that in a room of strangers What must he do to her elsewhere? - anyway I asked "What is it you and the rest of your families do for ***** to make her feel comfortable? He had no answer.

At one point she put up a slide talking about the spouses interpreting for their HOH partners and showed a doctor's office.
Again, I couldn't keep quiet and stated that spouses and CODAS should never interpret for their loved one or anyone else unless they are an interpreter.
The lady did not like my comment - another rebuff and moved on quickly.

I apologized to Ran256 if I embarrassed him. I just couldn't keep silent.

What do you think? Have you been in such a situation?
 
ASLGAL said:
What do you think? Have you been in such a situation?
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It's not just you. Yes, I've been in similar situation, and I don’t think I’ll ever go to another local SHHH meeting due to the inconsiderate couple running the programs.

She also claimed to speak “perfect” English but was in deep denial about her extreme nonstandard grammar with machine-gun delivery.

She also demanded we who were deaf or profoundly hard-of-hearing to speech-read (also calling it by the older “lip-reading”) or read the CART screen. The transcriber was inexperienced and slow, needing to go back and retype several times with numerous words. Yet the fast-talking woman with the microphone was impatient with anything but instant responses. I don’t know about all speech-readers, but I take a few extra seconds to process and put things together, especially with people I'm not used to.

She insisted on sticking the microphone in my face, and I could see hearing listeners wince at voices too loud and/or feedback. I’m also self-conscious of my voice, so I ended up passing and not asking questions.

She also glided over questions concerning deafness and wanted to talk more about issues with light-to-moderate hard-of-hearing.

Ha ha ha, I think we suffered under the same mistress of ceremonies, as this one also suggested my girlfriend who isn’t yet an expert signer translate for me. When I shook my head, the woman rolled her eyes.

My girlfriend dragged me out of there during the first break and apologized profusely for insisting we attend in the first place.
 
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I would have loved to be there...I would have raised hell at the meeting.

I couldnt last throughout the meeting..no way.
 
Ugh... I can imagine how awful of an experience it was to be there.
 
Thank You all for responding.

I posted that and then went to a Silent Dinner and just got home.
I am hearing but I quite often feel more at home with deaf.

I have mulled over the experience since Saturday and wondered if I should have just stayed quiet or if my awful experience was my doing.

I would have loved to be there...I would have raised hell at the meeting.
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That would have been wonderful. The two of us would have raised the roof :)

Thank GOD we are only required to attend one seminar. I sure couldn't handle another one.

Wow Chase, it sounds like they could be twins! I am glad you could leave and did.
It was torture to have to sit through the whole day but we did it and Ran256 gets the benefit.
So I guess it was worth it.
 
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Glad that Ran256 was able to get the benefit, sorry that the experince was so miserable. I got angry just reading about it, so I casn imagine the restraint needed to sit through it!

I wonder if this woman is aware that she has violated the ADA by requiring that all deaf/hh participants must speechread? Perhaps she should be made aware of her illegal approaches.
 
I realize that these people are oriented on helping hh folks function like hearies, and I don't see anything wrong with that as that is the wish of many hh people. However I am completely dumbfounded that these people have no education or grounding in Deaf culture at all. Do they think there's some kind of line that gets drawn: over HERE you are deaf and over HERE you are hearing and there is no overlap nor shades of grey? Furthermore I'm astonished these people are not educated as to the use of interpreters (i.e. not having an unskilled friend interpret).

If anyone in this situation is considering writing a letter of complaint, I would be happy to support you and write a letter of my own. This is unconscionably insulting to the probably many people out there who do not fit conveniently in the little conceptual boxes created by whoever's running these seminars.
 
Interpretrator said:
I realize that these people are oriented on helping hh folks function like hearies, and I don't see anything wrong with that as that is the wish of many hh people. However I am completely dumbfounded that these people have no education or grounding in Deaf culture at all. Do they think there's some kind of line that gets drawn: over HERE you are deaf and over HERE you are hearing and there is no overlap nor shades of grey? Furthermore I'm astonished these people are not educated as to the use of interpreters (i.e. not having an unskilled friend interpret).

If anyone in this situation is considering writing a letter of complaint, I would be happy to support you and write a letter of my own. This is unconscionably insulting to the probably many people out there who do not fit conveniently in the little conceptual boxes created by whoever's running these seminars.
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Add me to that offer of a letter.
 
I don't blame you.

She is obviously in denial. She's skipping the deaf-related issues and moving on to hard-of-hearing issues. She's trying to promote an oral-only environment. That's obviously something very "anti-deaf".
 
I'm not surprised this happened at a SHHH get together. Most SHHHer's are either old people or "totally and completely oral" in denial.
 
I have been so preoccupied lately with work and the Grandbabies I haven't had a chance to get back to this....

and then I heard the radio ad - This lady is doing a spot on Dayton, Ohio stations for Hillcrest Hearing Aids and her personal progam.
She speaks about the importance of the HA's she is promoting and telling everyone that Hearing is necessary for life. She even states that with hearing aids a person will make more money than those who can't hear.

Thanks to all who were interested in letters of complaint.

I think to complain to her is fruitless. I do believe that I will write a letter to the OhioVRS who required that ran256 and I go to her seminar to receive the benefit for his HA's. They should not require folks to attend such a biased presentation to get a benefit for HA's.

I think Interpretrator is correct. The woman is in denial and believes she and only she is the one to help the HOH and Deaf to hear and be productive.


On a side note: ran256 got the HA's for enviromental reasons/safety in the work place issues -- I do not think they have really helped a lot.
Anyone else get HA's or CI's for that purpose?
Has it been an improvement or a big let down?
 
even states that with hearing aids a person will make more money than those who can't hear.
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Lol hearing aids alone, NO.
But if you can speak clearly and lipread/listen well enough to hold convo, sure that'd makes you easier to get hired. But that's it
On a side note: ran256 got the HA's for enviromental reasons/safety in the work place issues -- I do not think they have really helped a lot.
Anyone else get HA's or CI's for that purpose?
Has it been an improvement or a big let down?
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I got my CI implanted with safety reason as number one and biggest reason. So far it've done it and much more. Only thing it need is tweaking with new mapping often to keep high frequency high enough to hear fire alarm and emergency vehicle siren that's only sound I've been having trouble hearing that's all.
 
Wow, she said hearing was necessary for life and for making a lot of money? I only used a FM system from preschool to sixth grade and it didn't help me understand anything. So I've been without any aid for half of my life and that was the half when I went to middle school through university and got a driver's license and a job.

I've been working for only a few months so far and I already have more money piled up in the bank than my father plus an IRA that could end up being worth several hundred thousand to a million dollars in several decades. Anyone can just walk into an investment place to set up one, no hearing required.
 
That is really strange and very puzzling why she is trying to set up the program to get all the hard of hearing people plus deaf people to get the hearing aid benefits. Yep, she is really in deep denial and look like she does not accept her deafness or losing her hearing loss. Who knows that she might have been late deafend or late hard of hearing. She must have miss her hearing very much. That is something she has to learn to face her own deafness, whether she like it or not. She is really deaf if she is looking at the CART instead of reading people's lips for speechreading or lipreading. And she want oral-only methods instead of ASL. Grrrrr. I wonder if the AGBell or SHHH must have brainwash her indicating that living in the hearing world is the best way to go and she have to lipread and talk like a hearie, ugh, that is sick. I hope she will change her mind just like Shel90 did when she went to Gallaudet University and realize how important it is to use ASL for visual better than trying to lipread people's lips for communication. Too bad, that she is very stubborn and rebuff Deaf culture and Deaf communities. That is sad. :(
 
And she want oral-only methods instead of ASL. Grrrrr. I wonder if the AGBell or SHHH must have brainwash her indicating that living in the hearing world is the best way to go and she have to lipread and talk like a hearie, ugh, that is sick.
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Yes, I agree. Resources she mentioned were all oral based.

When we entered her seminar at a local hotel it was in one of those banquet rooms - whirling overhead heating system, poor acoustics, the whirl of her equipment, and so on. Even with the HA's, if we are in an environment like that we sign because of the difficulties. I think I mentioned that she does sign and picked up on us signing - she came over and said you don't need an interpreter do you because we don't have one.

Our experience with that was not a good one by any means and just hearing that radio ad infuriates me all over again.
 
ASLGAL, and Chase, very frustrating events for both of you, and I can just picture them happening.

The question I have is, what can be done about this?
The letters someone mentioned are a great idea.
Any other ideas?
 
ASLGAL said:
Yes, I agree. Resources she mentioned were all oral based.

When we entered her seminar at a local hotel it was in one of those banquet rooms - whirling overhead heating system, poor acoustics, the whirl of her equipment, and so on. Even with the HA's, if we are in an environment like that we sign because of the difficulties. I think I mentioned that she does sign and picked up on us signing - she came over and said you don't need an interpreter do you because we don't have one.

Our experience with that was not a good one by any means and just hearing that radio ad infuriates me all over again.
Click to expand...

This woman not only has a bad case of denial, she also has a tremendous superiority complex comorbid with a distorted self image as the personal savior of the deaf community. She seriously needs a big dose of reality!
 
jillio said:
This woman not only has a bad case of denial, she also has a tremendous superiority complex comorbid with a distorted self image as the personal savior of the deaf community. She seriously needs a big dose of reality!
Click to expand...


That woman needs to go a huge Deaf social or event and try pulling those tricks on the people there.
 
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