Applying for jobs online

Heres Cheris Job Application.
NAME: Cheri

DESIRED POSITION: Reclining. HA! But seriously, whatever's available. If I was in a position to be picky, I wouldn't be applying here in the first place.

DESIRED SALARY: $185,000 a year plus stock options and a Michael Ovitz style severance package. If that's not possible make an offer and we can haggle.

EDUCATION: Yes.

LAST POSITION HELD: Target for middle management hostility.

SALARY: Less than I'm worth.

MOST NOTABLE ACHIEVEMENT: My incredible collection of stolen pens and post-it notes.

REASON FOR LEAVING: It sucked.

HOURS AVAILABLE TO WORK: Any.

PREFERRED HOURS: 1:30-3:30 p.m., Monday, Tuesday, and Thursday.

DO YOU HAVE ANY SPECIAL SKILLS? : Yes, but they're better suited to a more intimate environment.

MAY WE CONTACT YOUR CURRENT EMPLOYER?: If I had one, would I be here?

DO YOU HAVE ANY PHYSICAL CONDITIONS THAT WOULD PROHIBIT YOU FROM LIFTINGUP TO 50 LBS?: Of what?

DO YOU HAVE A CAR?: I think the more appropriate question here would be "Do you have a car that runs?"

HAVE YOU RECEIVED ANY SPECIAL AWARDS OR RECOGNITION?: I may already be a winner of the Publishers Clearinghouse Sweepstakes.

DO YOU SMOKE? : Only when set on fire.

HAVE YOU EVER BEEN CONVICTED OF A FELONY?: Is "felony" sex with a cat? Because if it is . . . no.

DO YOU CERTIFY THAT THE ABOVE IS TRUE AND COMPLETE TO THE BEST OF YOURKNOWLEDGE?: No, but I dare you to prove otherwise.

SIGN HERE: Scorpio with Libra rising.
 
ravensteve1961 said:
Heres Cheris Job Application.
NAME: Cheri

DESIRED POSITION: Reclining. HA! But seriously, whatever's available. If I was in a position to be picky, I wouldn't be applying here in the first place.

DESIRED SALARY: $185,000 a year plus stock options and a Michael Ovitz style severance package. If that's not possible make an offer and we can haggle.

EDUCATION: Yes.

LAST POSITION HELD: Target for middle management hostility.

SALARY: Less than I'm worth.

MOST NOTABLE ACHIEVEMENT: My incredible collection of stolen pens and post-it notes.

REASON FOR LEAVING: It sucked.

HOURS AVAILABLE TO WORK: Any.

PREFERRED HOURS: 1:30-3:30 p.m., Monday, Tuesday, and Thursday.

DO YOU HAVE ANY SPECIAL SKILLS? : Yes, but they're better suited to a more intimate environment.

MAY WE CONTACT YOUR CURRENT EMPLOYER?: If I had one, would I be here?

DO YOU HAVE ANY PHYSICAL CONDITIONS THAT WOULD PROHIBIT YOU FROM LIFTINGUP TO 50 LBS?: Of what?

DO YOU HAVE A CAR?: I think the more appropriate question here would be "Do you have a car that runs?"

HAVE YOU RECEIVED ANY SPECIAL AWARDS OR RECOGNITION?: I may already be a winner of the Publishers Clearinghouse Sweepstakes.

DO YOU SMOKE? : Only when set on fire.

WHAT WOULD YOU LIKE TO BE DOING IN FIVE YEARS?: Living in the Bahamas with a fabulously wealthy supermodel Actually, I'd like to be doing that now.

DO YOU CERTIFY THAT THE ABOVE IS TRUE AND COMPLETE TO THE BEST OF YOURKNOWLEDGE?: No, but I dare you to prove otherwise.

SIGN HERE: Scorpio with Libra rising.
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why did you use cheri's name?? you are the one that is JOBLESS.. SO THEREFORE you should have PUT DOWN YOUR OWN NAME... :doh:
 
zesty said:
why did you use cheri's name?? you are the one that is JOBLESS.. SO THEREFORE you should have PUT DOWN YOUR OWN NAME... :doh:
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^5 to ya zesty...well said! raven needs to put down what he's been :smoking: and pick up the pen and write his own resume.
 
deaflibrarian said:
I agree with you Mz. P.

I never seen such a job application and I've never taken any psychology test or the ilk for any job applications! You are right that people will lie. Of course who wouldn't lie when they are reading such crazy and personal questions. It is nobody's business if I consider myself a horse or a dog.

I also don't like those "voluntary" forms that ask whether you are a person of colour, a person with a disability, a woman, etc. Believe me they file that information somewhere.

Good luck with your complaints! Let us know what happens.
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My counselor told me to go back to Vocational Rehab. and let them
help me find a job.
 
ravensteve1961 said:
Heres Cheris Job Application.
NAME: Cheri

DESIRED POSITION: Reclining. HA! But seriously, whatever's available. If I was in a position to be picky, I wouldn't be applying here in the first place.

DESIRED SALARY: $185,000 a year plus stock options and a Michael Ovitz style severance package. If that's not possible make an offer and we can haggle.

EDUCATION: Yes.

LAST POSITION HELD: Target for middle management hostility.

SALARY: Less than I'm worth.

MOST NOTABLE ACHIEVEMENT: My incredible collection of stolen pens and post-it notes.

REASON FOR LEAVING: It sucked.

HOURS AVAILABLE TO WORK: Any.

PREFERRED HOURS: 1:30-3:30 p.m., Monday, Tuesday, and Thursday.

DO YOU HAVE ANY SPECIAL SKILLS? : Yes, but they're better suited to a more intimate environment.

MAY WE CONTACT YOUR CURRENT EMPLOYER?: If I had one, would I be here?

DO YOU HAVE ANY PHYSICAL CONDITIONS THAT WOULD PROHIBIT YOU FROM LIFTINGUP TO 50 LBS?: Of what?

DO YOU HAVE A CAR?: I think the more appropriate question here would be "Do you have a car that runs?"

HAVE YOU RECEIVED ANY SPECIAL AWARDS OR RECOGNITION?: I may already be a winner of the Publishers Clearinghouse Sweepstakes.

DO YOU SMOKE? : Only when set on fire.

HAVE YOU EVER BEEN CONVICTED OF A FELONY?: Is "felony" sex with a cat? Because if it is . . . no.

DO YOU CERTIFY THAT THE ABOVE IS TRUE AND COMPLETE TO THE BEST OF YOURKNOWLEDGE?: No, but I dare you to prove otherwise.

SIGN HERE: Scorpio with Libra rising.
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What's up with that? Stop acting like a child for goodness sake. You sure don't even act your age. :wave:
 
Miss*Pinocchio said:
My counselor told me to go back to Vocational Rehab. and let them
help me find a job.
Click to expand...

If you got extreme patience, then u can go to DVR, they're slow to process and take forever to start looking for jobs. I would suggest u go to employment centers where they have job openings, or temporary agenies, either way. You can look at online classifieds from major newspaper companies, too. There's so many options than just applying online. :)
 
ravensteve1961 said:
Heres Cheris Job Application.
NAME: Cheri

DESIRED POSITION: Reclining. HA! But seriously, whatever's available. If I was in a position to be picky, I wouldn't be applying here in the first place.

DESIRED SALARY: $185,000 a year plus stock options and a Michael Ovitz style severance package. If that's not possible make an offer and we can haggle.

EDUCATION: Yes.

LAST POSITION HELD: Target for middle management hostility.

SALARY: Less than I'm worth.

MOST NOTABLE ACHIEVEMENT: My incredible collection of stolen pens and post-it notes.

REASON FOR LEAVING: It sucked.

HOURS AVAILABLE TO WORK: Any.

PREFERRED HOURS: 1:30-3:30 p.m., Monday, Tuesday, and Thursday.

DO YOU HAVE ANY SPECIAL SKILLS? : Yes, but they're better suited to a more intimate environment.

MAY WE CONTACT YOUR CURRENT EMPLOYER?: If I had one, would I be here?

DO YOU HAVE ANY PHYSICAL CONDITIONS THAT WOULD PROHIBIT YOU FROM LIFTINGUP TO 50 LBS?: Of what?

DO YOU HAVE A CAR?: I think the more appropriate question here would be "Do you have a car that runs?"

HAVE YOU RECEIVED ANY SPECIAL AWARDS OR RECOGNITION?: I may already be a winner of the Publishers Clearinghouse Sweepstakes.

DO YOU SMOKE? : Only when set on fire.

HAVE YOU EVER BEEN CONVICTED OF A FELONY?: Is "felony" sex with a cat? Because if it is . . . no.

DO YOU CERTIFY THAT THE ABOVE IS TRUE AND COMPLETE TO THE BEST OF YOURKNOWLEDGE?: No, but I dare you to prove otherwise.

SIGN HERE: Scorpio with Libra rising.
Click to expand...



leave other AD members alone.. this way u have been using member names in a way that is pretty offensive... its no wonder no one likes you sadly... you really need to learn how to be nice :( leave everyone alone... if u feel an urge to insult someone... insult yourself! more i read your posts... more i pity u
 
Well im deaf,,,That means ill be unemployed untill the day i die unless scintist find a way i can hear again.
 
deaflibrarian said:
Being deaf has nothing to do with being unemployed. I've been profoundly deaf in both ears since birth, and I am employed. Granted, it is difficult to find a job, but a job will come your way if you have the right education, a positive outlook on life, life skills, and networking skills.

I am sure there are dozens and dozens of people on alldeaf.com who also are Deaf/deaf and employed.

Being deaf is not a sickness or disease, it is simply the fact you have lousy hearing. Waiting until deafness is "cured" is simply wrong and ignorant!

It sounds to me you're just lazy and have given up. Correct me if I am wrong.
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Yep; You are correct, I don't like it when people think they are deaf and think that they shouldn't be working. I don't like that excuse coming from deaf people. I am deaf and employed. :thumb: Thanks for defending me too...:hug:


Thanks Zesty and SpiceHD too :grouphug:
 
Cheri said:
Yep; You are correct, I don't like it when people think they are deaf and think that they shouldn't be working. I don't like that excuse coming from deaf people. I am deaf and employed. :thumb: Thanks for defending me too...:hug:


Thanks Zesty and SpiceHD too :grouphug:
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It is a good thing... when my sister and everybody telling me
to go get a job... I would say,, okay sure, watch this...

I would go to Walmart and applied in front of them...
and then go... And wait by the phone...

And say, see nobody call me...

so my sister and everybody
would get off my back for awhile.... :)
 
i think you would have to nag them about it thats what i learned a long time ago and thats how i get my jobs in past
 
Miss*Pinocchio said:
It is a good thing... when my sister and everybody telling me
to go get a job... I would say,, okay sure, watch this...

I would go to Walmart and applied in front of them...
and then go... And wait by the phone...

And say, see nobody call me...

so my sister and everybody
would get off my back for awhile.... :)
Click to expand...


Applying for one job doesn't make that WalMart will give you a phone call, You would have to applied alot of places and then if You do not hear from them in a couple days go up to them again in person and talk to the manager and tell the manager that you applied here on this date, and that you need this job, and willing to do every job requirement. Don't get upset with them but just be nice and smile alot. It works. It did for me :)
 
Cheri said:
Yep; You are correct, I don't like it when people think they are deaf and think that they shouldn't be working. I don't like that excuse coming from deaf people. I am deaf and employed. :thumb: Thanks for defending me too...:hug:


Thanks Zesty and SpiceHD too :grouphug:
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your welcome... no one deserve to be insulted by someone else for something thats not even true. NO ONE! and i also dont approve of anybody disrespect anybody anytime. Ravensteven need to learn how to respect others and himself.
 
ravensteve1961 said:
Well im deaf,,,That means ill be unemployed untill the day i die unless scintist find a way i can hear again.
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Aww, boo hoo! (no offense)

Look at Marlee Matlin, she's an actress and she's deaf. I'm sure there's several deaf actress/actors.
-several lawyers that are deaf. (I've met few)
-deaf teachers
-deaf professors (teach at gallaudet university or NTID)
-deaf counselors/phychology related field (school, etc)
-deaf VR (voc. rehabiliation)
and more to list.

Being deaf does not stop you to work. Any deaf people CAN work anywhere (most jobs). So don't give me that crap excuse, ok? :ugh2:

While sitting there and complaining about being deaf and have high hopes to be hearing again -- it is not going to help if you just sit there and whine about it. Get your ARSE up and apply for jobs til you land a job. :doh:
 
AnnyGuy said:
Aww, boo hoo! (no offense)

Look at Marlee Matlin, she's an actress and she's deaf. I'm sure there's several deaf actress/actors.
-several lawyers that are deaf. (I've met few)
-deaf teachers
-deaf professors (teach at gallaudet university or NTID)
-deaf counselors/phychology related field (school, etc)
-deaf VR (voc. rehabiliation)
and more to list.

Being deaf does not stop you to work. Any deaf people CAN work anywhere (most jobs). So don't give me that crap excuse, ok? :ugh2:

While sitting there and complaining about being deaf and have high hopes to be hearing again -- it is not going to help if you just sit there and whine about it. Get your ARSE up and apply for jobs til you land a job. :doh:
Click to expand...

and don't FORGET DEAF DOCTORS AND DEAF PILOTS!!! SHEESH.. ravensteven is such a hardheadEed.. he WILL NEVER CHANGE.. maybe he will after his mom--- ERM.. who knows cuz she STILL takes care of him at the age of 43--GO FIGURE... if you guys dig me.. :roll:
 
zesty said:
why did you use cheri's name?? you are the one that is JOBLESS.. SO THEREFORE you should have PUT DOWN YOUR OWN NAME... :doh:
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Yes, I'm with you :cheers:
 
Dont say: "I know I cant get job due deafness".

Worth try until they accept you at last.


I had been tried to different jobs in Germany for 3 months since I moved to live in Germany. I know it's not easy to get the job due deafness because they said this to me themselves during interview. They doesnt care that I has a good reference where I got from London.

Until US army force accepted me at last after 3 months fought. I cant sit for nothing but fighting to get jobs.... I did it!!!! :)
 
ravensteve1961 said:
Yup,,,Youre wrong.
Click to expand...

I understand RavenSteve that it is hard to find the right job
as a deaf person. I don't know why they mentioned Marlee Matlin,
she will never be up there with Halle Berry, Sandra Bullock, Jennifer Aniston, Oprah, and Julia Roberts. MM is just temporary actress. She isn't really famous.
I wish to see her more in big screen movies. :wiggle:
But I guess oh well.

We all know that it is tough for deaf people...
I have Treacher Collins Syndrome,, It is twice as tough.

:type: But you can't be thinking negative all the time. Gotta
go out there and fight the world... and make friends...
and don't let anybody put you down and tell you that you're crazy.
 
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