Any Guys Been in a Relationship With an Abusive Girlfriend?

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Doug5

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Anyone have any stories? What are signs to watch out for?
 
This site has been a good resource for me. It's the only one I know of in any case.

Personally, I've had a few bad relationships... I could give you a long sob story, but it's not necessary. The life lesson I took away is just that you need to watch for warning signs like bossiness, selfishness. Even little signs of these should be taken seriously. Abusive women tend not to show their true selves until some time into a relationship, they like to gloss over the bad parts of their personality, so you only see a little bit at first. They might seem very nice to begin with, but as time goes on you'll notice the good times become less frequent.

Abusive women are subtle. (Even most of society doesn't notice them.)
They're like... ninjas or something. :hmm:

Anyway, I recommend you check out that link I posted above, very helpful.
 
My little brother used to be in one. His ex wife used to get mad at him and start slapping and swinging at him. My brother used to laugh at her at first and thought it was funny. Then it became a problem where everytime she did not get her way she would throw one of her fits. Needless to say, he only stayed with her for a few months after he came back from Iraq. Then he left her with her mother, and moved back in with his father.

He is currently with a girlfriend and seems to be happy with her. He is about to have his first child. :)
 
even though many women are victims of abuse, women can also be the abusers. i believe they use the same tactics as the abusive men.

1. gets extremely jealous, isolates you from your friends and family

2. is like jekyll and hyde. can change from a sweetheart to a complete bitch in a few seconds

3. uses verbal assaults and threats with you to get her way

4. has unrealistically high expectations. no matter how much you give, it's never good enough for her.
examples: you're not giving me enough sex, you don't make enough money, you never help me around the house, you never pay enough attention to me, you spend too time watching tv.. etc

5. behavior/response is unpredictable. like one day it's okay for you to use the laptop for something important. the next day, the same thing you do is "insensitive, disrespectful, you don't love me, all you can do is think about yourself"
 
my mom's ex friend "Gina" is a perfect example of an abusive woman. she had two girls and i used to be friends with one of them. anyway, she divorced their dad because he would physically abuse her all the time. after that, she met "Brad" a really sweet, cool guy. Gina was terrible with him. kept him on a tight leash, would throw a fit every time Brad went out with my dad to have a "mens night out" at a bar or a baseball game. she got paranoid and accused my dad of introducing Brad to girls. she'd call Brad constantly to see what he was up to, and would have a FIT if he didn't come home on time.

Gina would always accuse Brad of being unfaithful, when in reality she WAS the ONE who was fooling around with an old friend from her high school behind his back! Brad was awesome with her daughters and did everything to keep a roof over their heads. unfortunately, that was never good enough for Gina. she always wanted MORE AND MORE from him

one of her daughters told me how Gina pushed Brad hard one time, and he fell back against the dresser. the poor guy hurt his back pretty bad

please don't ever be in a relationship with a psycho like her
 
yeah, I made the mistake of getting back together with my ex. It didnt take long for me to remember why I broke up with her in the first place. She is very controlling, demanding, also impossible to please.

She also constantly accuses me of cheating. Ive read that women making accusations of cheating, could be a sign that theyre cheating. I even told her this and she erupted in a rage changed the topic by pointing out all my faults.

She has issues, her father cheated on her mother. I think its given her an antipathy towards all men and makes her assume all men cheat. Like she punishes all her boyfriends for the sins of her father.
 
stay away from your ex and don't get sucked back into her crap again. it's ridiculous for her to hold a grudge against all men because of what her father did.

there are tons of girls out there who will respect your boundaries and won't control every move you make
 
yeah, we just broke up. Im just glad we never married or had kids. Just chalk it up to experience and move on.

There were lots of signs to label her a psycho but you dont want to take things outta context. Im sure I wasnt the perfect boyfriend either.

The thing that drove me nuts was her double standard jealousy. For example, if a girl at the drive through made small talk, she would become incredibly jealous. It was almost to the point where I wasnt allowed to talk to other women. Meanwhile she has tons of guy friends that she talks to on the internet.
 
so..... where's the abusive part?
 
good question. I dont want to go into all the details but she was similar Gina described by KateRiveria. I dont know if she was "abusive" or not. She made me miserable and thats enough reason to kick her to the curb.
 
Doug5 said:
good question. I dont know if she was "abusive" or not. She made me miserable and thats enough reason to kick her to the curb
Click to expand...

oh... so you've never really had an abusive relationship. Yours sounds like a typical case.
 
I was mentally abused by a very jealous ugly girl who had a major crush on me. I cant stand her and I'd break her nose if she steps on my toes. :lol: Nassy ass asian whore.
 
Well, I don't think I was abusive....even tho' I threw a dinner glass at my ex when he came home drunk at 4AM in the morning and I had gotton off work at 3AM and I'd worked 4 hours overtime.....the glass missed his head by inches....so I went over to the door, picked him up by the shirt and threw him out of the house....He slept or passed out on the porch outside along with all his clothes I threw out!...So that spelled Divorce!....And I'm not sorry I did it! :giggle:
 
It's very easy to tell what is abusive. I like the Reversing Trick (tm).

Just take all the things that would be abusive if men did it to women. Anything physical, verbal, mental, or manipulative.

And reverse it.

If women did to men, what abusive men do to women, it is abuse.

But a lot of people don't think of it that way. But this is the age of equality, right? So let's get rid of the double standards.

In high school, I watched a friend's mother slap him hard across the face (his sister, too) when she had a fit about something.

The son of someone I knew was in a very abusive relationship. His girlfriend hit him in the head, pushed him against the wall hard, swung bats at him, threw dishes at him, tried to run him over with a car. Finally, he got out of that relationship and got away.

I've had ex's try to manipulate me into doing things. It doesn't work because I'm stubborn and no one will make me do what I don't want to do. They just won't. I'll walk out the door than be coerced into anything.
 
I'm sure this was stated in the link, but anything physical, i.e. hitting with hands or other objects is abuse. Then mental abuse is when someone is constantly degrading you. Not a regular argument, but something that is more constant, and unwarranted.
 
Am a lady from MI am single looking for soulmate and true love can any man write me back i need true love
 
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