Another ignorant question from a hearing person

[ash345]

Ok so i know i am probably going to be ripped to shreds for posting this, but thats ok to me. First off i just want to say this is not meant to offend anyone at all and its just my opinions....

The fact that there is a section on this website called "Another ignorant question from a hearing person" just wants to make me cry. I am not deaf but i have deaf and hoh people in my family and also friends(who i consider my family) as well. I feel this is statement is ridiculous. Not all hearing people are ignorant and mean and the same goes for deaf people. Not all people are nice and not all are mean no matter what their difference is from the social norms of society. You have to understand that if you have never been exposed to deaf culture then how are you supposed to know anything about it? You are not born with this knowledge of deaf society and if you want people to learn about deaf culture then you can not be so critical of them and understand that we are ALL human, we all make mistakes but that doesnt mean that we are not willing to learn from them.

I am on my second year learning ASL and to be honest some of these comments make me want to quit. I dont want to be treated like an ignorant fool just because i was not born deaf. I can not express how much i WANT to learn about the deaf culture and learn ASL. I am trying very hard to learn ASL.

To be honest i was terrified to go to my first deaf event. I was scared that i wouldnt remember my signs and that someone would be offended at my attempt to communicate. I felt very isolated because no one would take the time to understand that i am new to this and i am still learning. I actually went home and cried after a deaf person was talking crap about me(i had my hoh friend with me who was raised with ASL and english and told me what they were saying). BUT i kept going again and again to the events because i know NOT ALL deaf people were going to treat me that way....i understand that some hearing people are jerks, but thats going to be in every culture all over the world.

I would really hope that people remember to treat others the way you want to be treated, and dont judge a book by its cover.

and again this was not meant to offended anyone and if it did you have my sincerest apologies...its a horrible feeling to feel unwanted...

that thread is a place for us to vent, we all know that not every hearing person is like that... but sometimes we need to vent to people that understand... so please don't get offended by that. It is actually a thread that is very good for hearing people to look at, because then it gives them the ability to understand some of the "what not to do's" and learn from other peoples ignorance... and yes, sometimes it is just ignorance... such as "oh deaf people can drive... but what about sirens" and they need to be informed, educated so they can get out of their ignorant ways... but sometimes it is them being mean... we all know there are mean people in every culture, in every group... you just have to understand... we need a place to vent, and if you don't like it... do read it.

I will admit, I am deaf, and I still do some ignorant things, not just about deafness, but also about other socially defined "disabilities"... every one does ignorant things every once in a while... its a fact of life... It seems to me that you are reading too much into that page, that you think we think all hearing people are like that, we know that isn't the truth (at least most of us do)... some of us are dating/engaged to/married to/ partnered with hearing people... so we obviously can't think all of them are bad.

I'm sorry you had a bad experience at your first deaf social... but that isn't our fault... you say at the end, that it is horrible to feel unwanted... think about the fact that some of us... thats how we feel about our families... that we are unwanted because of our hearing status... because of how we were born, or something that happened to us... because of how we are... and that is what we live with on a daily basis. take a walk in our shoes before you judge us... I'm not saying I was offended... I'm just offering up some friendly advice.

 

[mbrek]

OK, I just thought of a question (and I'm ok with it being ignorant).

I sent my niece a care package at college, with bubble wrap to keep it safe. Is bubble wrap still fun to pop if you can't hear it? I like the sound and don't know if it would be worth popping without it.

 

[ash345]

OK, I just thought of a question (and I'm ok with it being ignorant).

I sent my niece a care package at college, with bubble wrap to keep it safe. Is bubble wrap still fun to pop if you can't hear it? I like the sound and don't know if it would be worth popping without it.

personally... I don't see the draw of bubble wrap... my hearing SO loves it... but she doesn't like the electronic bubble wrap, like this

even though apparently it makes the same sound... I do love jumping on the air bags

like this, but only when i am around hearing people to see their reactions... so... I donno...

 

[purplewowies]

The word "ignorant" shouldn't be offensive - it's simply means that someone isn't learned/educated in regards to something.

Ignorance is lack of knowledge but not in anyway connected in any way to one's intellect. Calling oneself/someone ignorant is not at all the same thing as calling oneself/someone 'stupid' ... although for some reason many people mistakenly connect the two concepts.

If you are reading threads such as "Another ignorant* question from a hearing person", and deciding it's the same as saying "Another stupid question from a [stupid] hearing person" - then you're reading and understanding it incorrectly.


EVERYONE has things they are ignorant about ... the only way to transition from ignorance to knowledge is to admit that you don't understand/know something, then ask questions and become open to learning (from educated sources) about that/those topics.


* "ignorant" in this context referring to someone who doesn't have knowledge/experience what it's like to be Hoh, d/Deaf or about signed languages etc.

Exactly what I was going to say. Stupid people are ignorant and have no interest in learning. Ignorant people don't know about something and may or may not be interested in learning about it.

OK, I just thought of a question (and I'm ok with it being ignorant).

I sent my niece a care package at college, with bubble wrap to keep it safe. Is bubble wrap still fun to pop if you can't hear it? I like the sound and don't know if it would be worth popping without it.

I like the way it feels between my fingers when I pop it.

 

[mbrek]

...electronic bubble wrap, like this

OMG, I didn't know such a think existed!

Such a milestone for modern technology, how have I lived without it!

 

[Speedy Hawk]

OK, I just thought of a question (and I'm ok with it being ignorant).

I sent my niece a care package at college, with bubble wrap to keep it safe. Is bubble wrap still fun to pop if you can't hear it? I like the sound and don't know if it would be worth popping without it.

I can't hear bubble wrap but I still love popping it. I like feel of it when you pop (sometimes see hearing people reactions if they are around).

 

[SilentRider]

OK, I just thought of a question (and I'm ok with it being ignorant).

I sent my niece a care package at college, with bubble wrap to keep it safe. Is bubble wrap still fun to pop if you can't hear it? I like the sound and don't know if it would be worth popping without it.

Yep we can feel it in our hands, and place it next to a hearie and step on it, their facial reactions are hilarious to watch as they try to figure out what the heck is that popping noise.

 

[mbrek]

Hahaha. So is this a fun game you like, scare the hearies?

 

[SilentRider]

Hahaha. So is this a fun game you like, scare the hearies?

He he yep! Too many times I've got the living daylights scared out of me when heartiest pop out of nowhere cuz I can't hear footsteps. So its payback. He he

 

[society's_child]

Botts is hardcore. #thatisall

 

[Bottesini]

Botts is hardcore. #thatisall

But my advice is very accurate.

 

[jillio]

Dang it! When are you Deafies gonna learn to stop being so offensive to the poor hearies?

 

[dereksbicycles]

Maybe it is because deaf people have to interact with hearing day on daily basis. So therefore, Deaf event is like a time for them to speak in ASL. READ---fluent ASL, not broken ASL, not slow ASL just to make others understand them. They want to be free to speak fluently in ASL without worry about slowing down or anyone asking them to repeat.

 

[stueyyy]

Totally Deaf & hearing

I'm almost sure this is going to backfire into my face, but it's a question I've been wondering about for a long time now, and after looking around a little here, I feel like this might be an ok place to ask and maybe get some insight. Or possibly not. I'm hoping no one "jumps out at me" but if someone does, I guess I can always just leave the website, right? No harm, no foul.

Anyway... From what I understand, a lot of you, really think it's great when a hearing person tries to communicate. But then I've also seen posts (not just here, and I was really debating putting this in because I don't want to ask to cite anything, maybe the person was just having an off day and feeling irritated at being asked the same thing over and over or something, I don't know) where the people seem to think they're...better than (most) hearing people, as a community maybe? I'm probably misunderstanding something. I'm getting mixed messages, and on one hand I'm seeing "I would love to talk with you, if you've taken the time to try and learn my language" but then on the other I'm getting the exact opposite, a "I want nothing to do with (ignorant) hearing people," and I realize not every person is the same, deaf, HOH, or hearing--and maybe they all WON'T want to talk to me, or maybe they'll be frustrated that my signing is terrible, or maybe they'll just have no interest in talking with me at all, for no real reason.

If you'd rather not interact with hearing people as much as possible, can you tell me why? Did we try to shout at you, did we try signing and acting like a show off but you couldn't understand us, or were we pitying or making ourselves seem like we're better? I'm just looking for some insight into this, you know, beyond the "be proud of who you are" thing.

This was probably the worst way to write this. I'm not good with words, and I don't want anyone to dislike me, but I've also heard the deaf are more likely to talk about things "as they are" without any sugar coating...so I guess we'll see.

I Dont ignore Im the opposite I try my best, but lip Reading is so difficult for me, even though I have done it for 6 years its still difficult, I've tried can you slow down it might help us both, sometimes that doesn't work. Im not proud of Being Deaf far from it, I hate it for personal reasons....oh well life goes on right....

 

[mbrek]

Maybe it is because deaf people have to interact with hearing day on daily basis. So therefore, Deaf event is like a time for them to speak in ASL. READ---fluent ASL, not broken ASL, not slow ASL just to make others understand them. They want to be free to speak fluently in ASL without worry about slowing down or anyone asking them to repeat.

So does that mean you'd prefer those of us who aren't fluent to stay away?

 

[melindajanet]

The word "ignorant" shouldn't be offensive - it's simply means that someone isn't learned/educated in regards to something.

I agree with your whole comment. I think so often "ignorant" is used to insult people, so that we just come to think of it in that way.

I'm fully aware that I'm ignorant of plenty, that's why I'm on this board -- to learn. I mean I'll never fully Get It when it comes to deafness/Deaf Culture, because I'll never be Deaf. But I still want to at least *try* to learn as much as I can.

 

[dereksbicycles]

So does that mean you'd prefer those of us who aren't fluent to stay away?

My girlfriend is hearing and works hard on learning ASL. She is always wanting to learn more so, I do have patience with people who are learning.

I was simply pointing out a trend with my quote above. Of course, that won't apply to everyone. Some people will have patience to sign slowly. Some will not.

 

[mbrek]

^^^Just checking. Thanks!

 

[whatdidyousay!]

I'm almost sure this is going to backfire into my face, but it's a question I've been wondering about for a long time now, and after looking around a little here, I feel like this might be an ok place to ask and maybe get some insight. Or possibly not. I'm hoping no one "jumps out at me" but if someone does, I guess I can always just leave the website, right? No harm, no foul.

Anyway... From what I understand, a lot of you, really think it's great when a hearing person tries to communicate. But then I've also seen posts (not just here, and I was really debating putting this in because I don't want to ask to cite anything, maybe the person was just having an off day and feeling irritated at being asked the same thing over and over or something, I don't know) where the people seem to think they're...better than (most) hearing people, as a community maybe? I'm probably misunderstanding something. I'm getting mixed messages, and on one hand I'm seeing "I would love to talk with you, if you've taken the time to try and learn my language" but then on the other I'm getting the exact opposite, a "I want nothing to do with (ignorant) hearing people," and I realize not every person is the same, deaf, HOH, or hearing--and maybe they all WON'T want to talk to me, or maybe they'll be frustrated that my signing is terrible, or maybe they'll just have no interest in talking with me at all, for no real reason.

If you'd rather not interact with hearing people as much as possible, can you tell me why? Did we try to shout at you, did we try signing and acting like a show off but you couldn't understand us, or were we pitying or making ourselves seem like we're better? I'm just looking for some insight into this, you know, beyond the "be proud of who you are" thing.

This was probably the worst way to write this. I'm not good with words, and I don't want anyone to dislike me, but I've also heard the deaf are more likely to talk about things "as they are" without any sugar coating...so I guess we'll see.

" I've also heard the deaf are more likely to talk about things "as they are" without any sugar coating...so I guess we'll see." I know plenty of people that are not deaf or hoh and they do not 'sugar coat' things! I can't stand people that made blanket statements like this!

 

[dj_destroyer]

I'm still torn between whether or not I should make the effort to communicate or just not bother at all... Seems like there are mixed opinions.