Annoyed

RebekahElizabeth

RebekahElizabeth

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Recently, I was in a meeting discussing with a very rude lady in how being deaf effects my daily life. Many comments were made that just ticked me off but being polite I just smiled and carried on. However, I did have to say something after this comment was made... 'so you have hearing aids?, doesn't that mean you can hear now?, like problem solved?.... Has anyone else had to deal with ignorant comments like this?. I wish people were more educated.
 
I got that at work, "oh I see you wear hearing aids, so you can answer the phone and hear people in other rooms." Umm no buddy but I can hear what you are saying to me right in front of me :)
 
I always got..."ur hard of hearing?...why don't you get hearing aids?"...Or..."there is some gadget that can make you hear again!"...And when I say No, I'm not hard of hearing, I'm profound deaf...so a hearing aid won't help and "a gadget" I don't qualify for...Ohhh...I'm sooo sorry!....then they ask the person with me to interpret for them...LOL...grrrrr...
 
oh god. makes me think of when I got hired at Safeway to work in the deli. I explained to the manager that I was deaf and could not use the phone.... and he honestly expected me to answer the deli phone. ...... dude.... really? How many times do I have to explain it? Even in his office, during the hiring process, I had to call a number to verify/confirm something and I could not hear/understand a WORD and had to have him help (with him taking the phone and going from there, and he still wanted me to answer the deli phone!).

Some people just don't get it.
 
I talk fine for my hearing loss, but when i tell people now they ask if I need a terp or start doing crazy things with their lips.
 
A lot of people are not aware and ignorant. I wish schools teach students about the difficulties each and every disability people face so that we don't receive such insensitive treatment!
 
RebekahElizabeth said:
However, I did have to say something after this comment was made... 'so you have hearing aids?, doesn't that mean you can hear now?, like problem solved?.... Has anyone else had to deal with ignorant comments like this?. I wish people were more educated.
Click to expand...

What did you say to the person who made that comment?
 
I said I have a urinary tract infection that prevents me from talking on the phone, did you not hear me?
 
RebekahElizabeth said:
Recently, I was in a meeting discussing with a very rude lady in how being deaf effects my daily life. Many comments were made that just ticked me off but being polite I just smiled and carried on. However, I did have to say something after this comment was made... 'so you have hearing aids?, doesn't that mean you can hear now?, like problem solved?.... Has anyone else had to deal with ignorant comments like this?. I wish people were more educated.
Click to expand...
Yeah..totally understand. I had a boss at work like that...highly educated..a professional..but terribly ignorant towards my hearing loss. Asking her to repeat herself sometimes when I couldn't understand what she was saying would visibly annoy her and she would make terrible comments at times...was a stressful environment to work on that is for sure
 
It is not so easy for bosses who have not been around hoh employees. The ones who do best have dealt with it before in their personal lives or past employment situations. Some actually have a small bit of training. How well you teach them by being interactive in positive ways is key.
There is a wrench for every kind of nut.

First show that you understand you are requiring an extra effort on their part. You do that adapting for them in some way that demonstrates your effort. A favorite of mine is to say, "I read lips".
Another standard one is, "please bear with me I get better the more we talk".

Smiles are valuable currency in these interactions. Clear responsive communication is the goal. You have to make sure it happens accurately.

If you have questions and they are trying to get away because they have maxxed their mental allotment of time for the exchange it is tough to throw on the brakes so it better be firmly related to what is expected. Getting it right is your responsibility as much as theirs.

It all works best if you work hard to be damn good at what you do whatever it is. It pays off best that way.
 
goodonya said:
How well you teach them by being interactive in positive ways is key.

There is a wrench for every kind of nut.

Smiles are valuable currency in these interactions.

It all works best if you work hard to be damn good at what you do whatever it is. It pays off best that way.
Click to expand...

Preach.
 
It is quite difficult and stressful on both sides. Hearing people who try to adapt to the HOH/deaf later in life find their habits and expectations extremely difficult to change. hubby and I endure this daily. I initiate conversation before I get my hearing ids in. Duh. Later in the day when he is tired he forgets to speak carefully. The worst is that in a group situation, instead of modeling slow speech for my benefit he uses his customary quicker, quieter voice that always worked in public situations for him. How can anyone else remember to gear their speech to my disability when he acts to the contrary.

Human habits get set. As goodonya says, people who respond best learned to do so much earlier in their own families, usually with grandparents. just the way it is. That said, anyone who wants to adapt can. The phone services that train their people well usually shift gears and successfully slow down when I inform them of being HOH. Some companies neither train nor monitor their phone workers for this.
 
goodonya said:
It is not so easy for bosses who have not been around hoh employees. The ones who do best have dealt with it before in their personal lives or past employment situations. Some actually have a small bit of training. How well you teach them by being interactive in positive ways is key.
There is a wrench for every kind of nut.

First show that you understand you are requiring an extra effort on their part. You do that adapting for them in some way that demonstrates your effort. A favorite of mine is to say, "I read lips".
Another standard one is, "please bear with me I get better the more we talk".

Smiles are valuable currency in these interactions. Clear responsive communication is the goal. You have to make sure it happens accurately.

If you have questions and they are trying to get away because they have maxxed their mental allotment of time for the exchange it is tough to throw on the brakes so it better be firmly related to what is expected. Getting it right is your responsibility as much as theirs.

It all works best if you work hard to be damn good at what you do whatever it is. It pays off best that way.
Click to expand...
Thanks for your response. I do and did handle the situation almost to a tee as you suggested..and would and should work with most people...however...let's just say this particular boss had no desire to understand nor adapt to my disability.... good thing is...I have run into these type of individuals very rarely in my life experiences...so all is good..for the most part.
 
My ex boss didn't understand when I had hearing aids why I didn't like talking on the phones. One day he said, you need to answer the phones !

I told him I don't answer them because the new style office phones used Piezo tweeters and I can not hear them especially if they were using headset telephones to call the office. He was like, well you hear me? Yes, here in person, on the phone no.....
So he demanded I answer the phones like everyone else in the office, FINE !

So I picked it up... Hello, City of XXXX, Civil Services. Then I laid the phone on the desk and walked off. I think He got my point after that.
 
Now that I have CI's I go full deaf occasionally. Sucks that I'm still verbal because people can not connect the 2 for the life of them.
I went to get 2 large salads, got home and they forgot the roll. So my ex called them and they said to come get them, I said, they better give extras because I'm not wasting gas for 2 damn rolls that should have been in there. I get there and the guy is rambling on ( yes my ex told them I was deaf) so I'm catching half of what he is saying ( 5 rolls instead of 2 ect....) and he is running his mouth a mile a minute, so I cut in, excuse me I am deaf! So, he stops a minute, looks at me and starts running again as I'm looking in the bag for the butter an all that was omitted earlier, I look up and I say, did you say something. you know I'm deaf. Again, he stops and you can see the frustration in his face so I ask him if he will write down what he is saying? Then I catch him saying " Then why are you talking"? I couldn't help but laugh at him. So I asked for the manager.
She comes up ( she knows me as a regular there ) so I explained what the minor deal was, then told her about the little issue that just ensued, she was shocked. So she called him back over, explained to him that I am deaf yet verbal, she went on to explain I was late deafened as my reason to be able to speak and so on. We chatted a bit and she said she was going to have a couple meetings to educate the employees on different disabilities, and some sensitivity training as I'm not the only deaf in town and there are others with handicaps as well. It is amazing some of the younger generations and some older generations just don't get it... the government dumbing them down is working.
 
I have had some really really bad communication pile ups in my various efforts out there. Whew!! everything from totally not hearing or seeing a person who has just been friendly to some kind of hit the wall with your head convo's that go into the dreaded fourth repetition.
Smiles here, three is my limit then it's time to scramble for a new grip on things or give up.
There is an exhaustion factor in all that. Still we have a right to not be sidelined. I have worked things to get huge breaks from it all and then dive in again and go for it. That is just me, the Roller Coaster is my favorite trail run. I wish it was different too.
Why would anyone want this??
It all builds character I guess so we can hopefully battle out the last chapter with good stories to tell.
 
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I do not need further character building. I would prefer the cure, as well as for all humans to SLOW DOWN, and not just speech.
 
some people always ask me stupid questions.. I tend to ignore them when they try to learn sign language i refuse to waste time if they don't have question for me to get a item that they needed to get my help about? ugh.. my best advice is just keep smliing and nodding they will eventually get the hint and leave me alone lol
 
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