You should leave deafnerdmommy alone and allow her to do what she thinks is best; this is between her and her parents on what they decide to do. Doing all of what you suggest would likely make things worse and more tension in the house. Not an ideal situation in my humble opinion.
I'm sure they'll figure something out.
And now I know not to say anything about my own situation.. I'll get back some pretty drastic advice... oh... wait no I won't since I'm on ignore anyway ...
You might still if she sees it when someone else quotes you.