also, is it weird that im interested in this guy..

Most of our advice about dating and marriage is largely ignored, so it doesn't really matter. Most people who post seeking relationship advice don't really want any advice that is contrary to what they're doing. They just want affirmation posts of "You go girl!" and "Go for it!" and "Follow your heart." They don't want to hear about red flags and gut warnings.
 
Reba said:
Most of our advice about dating and marriage is largely ignored, so it doesn't really matter. Most people who post seeking relationship advice don't really want any advice that is contrary to what they're doing. They just want affirmation posts of "You go girl!" and "Go for it!" and "Follow your heart." They don't want to hear about red flags and gut warnings.
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Making a note to stay out of relationship threads. :hmm:
 
HelloNurse said:
are you sayin this purely because of the kid thing?


and yes, im well aware that you only see the good parts in people at first, and the bad will eventually come out..

this may be concerning to about 80% of the people that responded to this thread but ive decided i am going to give it a chance. i feel myself having stronger feelings for him than the numerous other guys i have been talking to (i was trying to do the casual dating thing.. but i dont think thats really my thing, its exhausting. :shock:). i am not dumb, i know it will not be easy, but i feel like we have a connection and if i let it go now i may regret it later. if it doesnt work out, it doesnt work out. im young. i dont know maybe its the hormones talking, but i like him. think what you will of me, if i am doing something wrong i will learn my lesson eventually..:aw:
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Good luck..hope everything works out.
 
Reba said:
Most of our advice about dating and marriage is largely ignored, so it doesn't really matter. Most people who post seeking relationship advice don't really want any advice that is contrary to what they're doing. They just want affirmation posts of "You go girl!" and "Go for it!" and "Follow your heart." They don't want to hear about red flags and gut warnings.
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I've pretty much come to the same conclusion, Reba. When it comes to love and relationships, most people are pretty much going to do what their emotional needs/wants dictate, even if their instincts and what people tell them are completely contradictory. Very few people seem to listen to the advice that they don't want to hear; they only listen to what they want to hear. :dunno:
 
Let her be. I mean, reading through this, I highly doubt she is directly related to anyone on the board..?
There is no commitment she has towards anyone from alldeaf. It is no more different than a first time meetup with some strangers every other topic, no one knows each other in person more than you know the next one. Credibility and trust between each other needs to be built for some individuals to take advice. Not everyone drops what they're doing and listens, needless to say.

One of the common fallacies of the internet discussions is to assume the audience you are speaking to, will take another's ethos and advice to their heart. Portions of this is no different than 4chan.org participants trying to get their piece out and the whole thread follows them. There are always posts where another's comments are ignored (irked over that..?) and irreconcilable differences are 'plenty' stagnant while the thread dies. It is here in the 'debates and 'drama sections.

Internet credibility between total strangers is valued to be worth as much as a two centimeters of tinfoil. The value has dropped.. we are no longer in the 1990's.
 
naisho said:
Let her be. I mean, reading through this, I highly doubt she is directly related to anyone on the board..?
There is no commitment she has towards anyone from alldeaf. It is no more different than a first time meetup with some strangers every other topic, no one knows each other in person more than you know the next one. Credibility and trust between each other needs to be built for some individuals to take advice. Not everyone drops what they're doing and listens, needless to say.

One of the common fallacies of the internet discussions is to assume the audience you are speaking to, will take another's ethos and advice to their heart. Portions of this is no different than 4chan.org participants trying to get their piece out and the whole thread follows them. There are always posts where another's comments are ignored (irked over that..?) and irreconcilable differences are 'plenty' stagnant while the thread dies. It is here in the 'debates and 'drama sections.

Internet credibility between total strangers is valued to be worth as much as a two centimeters of tinfoil. The value has dropped.. we are no longer in the 1990's.
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I thought since commodities are rising the amount of tinfoil that we place on valuing internet credibility has dropped.
Please get back to me on this as I find this a serious matter that must be resolved.
 
naisho said:
Let her be. I mean, reading through this, I highly doubt she is directly related to anyone on the board..?
There is no commitment she has towards anyone from alldeaf. It is no more different than a first time meetup with some strangers every other topic, no one knows each other in person more than you know the next one. Credibility and trust between each other needs to be built for some individuals to take advice. Not everyone drops what they're doing and listens, needless to say.

One of the common fallacies of the internet discussions is to assume the audience you are speaking to, will take another's ethos and advice to their heart. Portions of this is no different than 4chan.org participants trying to get their piece out and the whole thread follows them. There are always posts where another's comments are ignored (irked over that..?) and irreconcilable differences are 'plenty' stagnant while the thread dies. It is here in the 'debates and 'drama sections.

Internet credibility between total strangers is valued to be worth as much as a two centimeters of tinfoil. The value has dropped.. we are no longer in the 1990's.
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Eh, she asked for advice, and people are giving it to her, and fairly congenially if you ask me. I agree with everything else you said though. Major kudos for using the word ethos :thumb:. I think your post would be a bit more relevant, however, if you were critiquing a thread where, say, someone wasn't asking for advice but everyone was trying to tell them what to do anyway. And, yeah, there are more than a million of those types of threads on AD...

As for my comment: I am talking about real life with people I know just as much as I'm applying it to online life with people I do not know. I guess I should have been more clear about that. Oops. Simply put: people will do what they want.
 
:) just wanted to let everyone know, i was only seeing what the opinions of others might be if i were to date him. i would never base a life decision solely on advice given to me by people on the internet ive never met in real life. sure, you guys helped me think things through a little more and weigh out the pros and cons, but ultimately i had my mind mostly made up. thank you for listening anyway, and i really do value everyones opinion on here. i took everything you said and thought about it, but in the end i think i made the best choice for me. also, it is hard to paint a clear picture of someone in text, perhaps if you knew him in real life your opinions would be different. i really do think he is a genuinely sweet guy. but if he turns out not to be, i will able to handle myself. i have been through some horrible things in my life and a guy turning out not to be who i thought he was is not the end of the world for me. buttttt, i really like him so i hope it works out.

/rant.
 
In case it matters there is an 18 year difference between myself and my husband. And I had the money...
 
TheWriteAlex said:
Eh, she asked for advice, and people are giving it to her, and fairly congenially if you ask me. I agree with everything else you said though. Major kudos for using the word ethos :thumb:. I think your post would be a bit more relevant, however, if you were critiquing a thread where, say, someone wasn't asking for advice but everyone was trying to tell them what to do anyway. And, yeah, there are more than a million of those types of threads on AD...

As for my comment: I am talking about real life with people I know just as much as I'm applying it to online life with people I do not know. I guess I should have been more clear about that. Oops. Simply put: people will do what they want.
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Am behind you Alex, even though internet credibility has taken a nose dive am pretty sure most of those who posted on this thread posted what they genuinely believed to be best best advice in real life.
Credibility might be low on the internet but am sure the bond we share (most of us have hearing disabilities) serves to bind us, hence we seek the best for our colleagues as we will for ourselves simply because we know we are disadvantaged in a world designed principally for those with normal hearing.
generally in real life, people dont listen to advice on matters of the heart even when everyone else is seeing and pointing out the danger signs.

HelloNurse, i wish you the best of luck. there is always something new to learn in every new venture you undertake. You are survivor (you said you went thru a lot) so you'll survive and possibly emerge stronger than ever.:deaf:
 
Only time will tell the what will become of things. C.S. Lewis once said experience is a brutal teacher but you learn my God do you learn.
 
ember said:
Only time will tell the what will become of things. C.S. Lewis once said experience is a brutal teacher but you learn my God do you learn.
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Remember your punctuation!!!! :nono:
C.S. Lewis said:
"Experience is a brutal teacher, but you learn. My God, do you learn."
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(That's a fantastic quote, BTW. I'd never heard it. Thanks for sharing.)
 
Generally speaking, when women share information, they are looking for empathy and the connection of shared experience. Especially between girl friends. It seems like men are the ones who want to "fix it."

I believe that the OP just wanted to discuss dating matters and hear about other people's experiences. I don't think that the OP considered this a "Dear Abby" thread. The thread seems like a conversation to me.

In any case, I hope that things work out for you. Let us know how it goes *if* you feel comfortable with that.
 
TheWriteAlex said:
Remember your punctuation!!!! :nono:



(That's a fantastic quote, BTW. I'd never heard it. Thanks for sharing.)
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I know I just reread it and where did the extra "the" come from. I should stop posting from my phone it's smart but it always adds extra letters and words, the punctuation that was all me :(

I say this as I am posting from my phone again lol
 
sallylou said:
Generally speaking, when women share information, they are looking for empathy and the connection of shared experience. Especially between girl friends. It seems like men are the ones who want to "fix it."

I believe that the OP just wanted to discuss dating matters and hear about other people's experiences. I don't think that the OP considered this a "Dear Abby" thread. The thread seems like a conversation to me.

In any case, I hope that things work out for you. Let us know how it goes *if* you feel comfortable with that.
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dont worry i will! :D btw, so far so good!
 
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