After The Affair.....

There are many different types of affairs. I guess the answer varies for me, depends on what kind of affair he had with another woman while being with me.

My ex husband had an emotional affair with a colleague of his for years while being married to me. They didn't have sex or anything but confided in each other things that he should have told only me. I thought I was losing my mind until I came across an email she sent to him and it dawned on me what was going on. Needless to say, we divorced but it wasn't because of that affair..we had other things happening.

I will never stay with a man after any type of affair because I value trust so much ..what is the point of giving him another chance yet I will always be paranoid and snooping around in his belongings? No way ..I want someone who I could look at with pure heart, not nagging suspicisions.
 
Meg

I will never stay with a man after any type of affair because I value trust so much ..what is the point of giving him another chance yet I will always be paranoid and snooping around in his belongings? No way ..I want someone who I could look at with pure heart, not nagging suspicisions.
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Absolutely, I would be mental unstable if I constantly to snooping around a man’s pants, car, suit, etc… It is not such a good health to do this.

I am tired of find many hotel receipts and condoms. Glad, I do not see these stuffs within 8 years. I feel so peaceful and relax. I sleep very well rest of the nights with a teddy bear. :D
 
Sabrina said:
Meg



Absolutely, I would be mental unstable if I constantly to snooping around a man’s pants, car, suit, etc… It is not such a good health to do this.

I am tired of find many hotel receipts and condoms. Glad, I do not see these stuffs within 8 years. I feel so peaceful and relax. I sleep very well rest of the nights with a teddy bear. :D
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There u go, Sabrina! u smart too! Any woman who is brave enough to leave their azzholed spouses or boyfriends is smart in my book! If my hubby ever cheat on me or whatever that is not acceptable, i will leave right away!! no tolerance!
 
The worst experience with a man cheating on me was that I was with this guy for 8 years. We were engaged and everything. Then one summer I had an internship in another state so I left for two months, believing that he would remain faithful to me.

When I returned, I found out he got a girl pregnant accidently on their one night stand. All of my dreams were crushed. I was utterly devastated that he could be such a a**hole, wasting 8 years of my youth. I did not think I could survive life but I forced myself to keep going and never looked back.

He went on to marry her but they divorced a few years later. A few years ago, he called me to see if we could go out on a date. I told him he is not worth a minute of mine and hung up. But I still hear that he is still wondering about me.

Affairs are extremely devastating - so my heart goes out to you Sabrina. Thank godness you have your teddy bear nowadays :)
 
Defee said:
Aww thats sad! thats terrible for what he did to you! Its his loss cuz you are truly a great lady! Im glad that you found someone and its a wonderful true love for both of you! :ily:
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I second the motion. :) Socretes, you are a great lady and I am happy for you that you found someone in your life and you are happy now. :)
 
ive had ex's cheat on me and i know theyre not worth my time :thumbd: to ppl who cheats on their partners
 
Nancy said:
I second the motion. :) Socretes, you are a great lady and I am happy for you that you found someone in your life and you are happy now. :)
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:ily: HUGS Nancy!! You're a great gal too!! Great to see you here and share with everyone your wonderful personality that I've come to adore! *winks!*
 
Well, I would give husband a chance, but I just know it'd be hard to forgive and 'forget'.
My husband went through this -- when he found out his ex wife was having an affair with one of his ex best mates. He was still married to her when the affair happened. He walked out of the marriage and never looked back. (he caught her in bed with his ex best mate) His ex wife made his life hell by telling lies and twisting the story to make it sound like HE was the one who had the affair which wasn't true at all. :roll:
 
^Angel^ said:
Your spouse has confessed after the affair and promised to be honest from now on. How do you rebuild all those shattered pieces and trust your spouse again?...
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No. I would leave him right there. Once a cheater, always a cheater. I haven't been married yet. But I have been engaged, and I have done through the cheating by him process. It's emotionally traumatic. And it took me over a year to finally break up with him. Every argument often revolved around him cheating on me. He promised to be honest to me from then on, but he wasn't -- he should have kept his promise of commitment from the very beginning anyways.
 
Sad....

Adultery is worse, it can break up the marriage because the marriage is designed for two into one...many married couples failed to understand true meaning of vows....this is adulterous action was increasing because of

1) lack of connect in love

2) refuse to work out problem

3) look for better hot sex

4) fail to understand one's needs...

Adulterous act isnt the answer to solve the problem of marriage...it will get WORSE afterward...it can wreck spouse, friendships, and even family member...mark my word...I have witnessed it through people..it is very sad...
 
You said once a cheater always a cheater....it is true BUT unless you get professional help and conquer your darkest side of within for what you do then it will end..For example, One person confessed to me this she adultered and cheated on his precious husband because other man blah to her and manipluate at her this he is porno star and best in bed...she fell for it...she realized this her precious husband is perfect for her not the wrong man..she went and confessed to her husband...and it take years to heal the deep wounds...in the end they are still married for more than 20 years...I see happiness in their face and have 3 precious sweet kids...it depends on what u are dealing with...
 
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