Advice? We want our son to be mainstreamed. He wants to go to the School for the Deaf

I raised up in mainstreamed until I was in 8 grade, I went to Michigan School for the Deaf. I loved it, I graduated from there in 2002. Im fine right now, I have a daughter. I did start work at 13 years old at Senior Center and Township Hall, yes two jobs at 13 years old until 17 years old, went to different jobs, my last job was caregiver deaf and blind clients. Im coming from hearing family. I know my own sides of Hearing World and Deaf World. Honestly, I don't speak very well and read the lips very well, Im fine. Suggest you to listen your own son, he knows what he wants right now. ;)
 
We're still considering our options, and we don't have to make a decision for several more weeks, but thanks to your thought-provoking comments we (Mom and Dad) are much more open to the idea of Jason going to DS than we had been. We're checking out the academic achievement stats, and they look pretty good. Most importantly, you've helped us realize that our son is getting to be mature enough to make some of his own decisions, and that he's smart enough to do so intelligently.

Someone asked why we thought that we would be "limiting" him (that was the word we used) by sending him to DS. It's not that we think that hearing classmates are "better" than deaf. We know they're not. We just think that in order to teach our son how to function in the world, he needs to be exposed to a wide variety of people, and to learn to communicate on their terms. We're still concerned that we're giving some of that experience up by sending him to DS.
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YAY! I'm so glad you're now more openminded about sending Jason to a deaf school. One thing that I think many hearing parents may not remember is how horrible high school and jr high can be for kids especially those with special needs. You know, even my parents now say they should have sent me to a deaf school or a school that had a formal dhh program.
One good thing about schools for the deaf, is that they do tend to have quite a few academic students. Like at schools for the blind, there are usually mostly multihandicapped kids with a handful of academic kids. Also many of the deaf schools are really good. Not all deaf schools are crappy.
One excellent point about deaf schools, is that IEP issues tend to be a non issue. The teachers are trained especially to work with dhh kids. No more settling for minimal accomondations or "they're never going to go to college" attitudes from teachers when students don't respond well to minimal accomondations.
Is there any way you can talk to a current deaf school student about their experiance at the deaf school? That might help you make a decision.
Also, if you're worried about him not having enough exposure to hearing people, you could do something like a split placement (some classes at deaf school some at mainstream school) or if he would have to live at school you could maybe have him take some mainstream courses. Also, he has developed some skills with dealing with hearing people....he won't lose them just b/c he's attending a deaf school.
 
Thanks DeafLissa! :)
You know......many if not most deaf schools have speech therapists on staff. B/c they are experainced with teaching dhh kids, you might see an improvement in his speech! Most mainstream speech therapists really don't know how to teach dhh kids....
Jason.....I can totally understand. I remember back then I felt like most hearing people couldn't really understand me.....I hated hated faking it.
Jason's parents ....let me find info for you on the American Society for Deaf Children and their listserv.....it's a great org and a great list!!!
 
Oh sevenhudsons.....here is an excellent organization for parents of dhh kids.
American Society for Deaf Children
Join the listserv! It's got a LOT of parents of dhh kids who are facing educational choices like yours
Archives of PARENTDEAF-HH@LISTSERV.KENT.EDU
Also, maybe look into sending Jason to a dhh summer camp? I know that a lot of the deaf schools have summer camp programs....might be something fun to look into!
 
sevenhudsons said:
We love you, Nosy Granny. :D

Wow. Thank you all for your responses, advice, and the spirited discussion. We've learned a lot. We're still considering our options, and we don't have to make a decision for several more weeks, but thanks to your thought-provoking comments we (Mom and Dad) are much more open to the idea of Jason going to DS than we had been. We're checking out the academic achievement stats, and they look pretty good. Most importantly, you've helped us realize that our son is getting to be mature enough to make some of his own decisions, and that he's smart enough to do so intelligently.

Someone asked why we thought that we would be "limiting" him (that was the word we used) by sending him to DS. It's not that we think that hearing classmates are "better" than deaf. We know they're not. :D We just think that in order to teach our son how to function in the world, he needs to be exposed to a wide variety of people, and to learn to communicate on their terms. We're still concerned that we're giving some of that experience up by sending him to DS. That was the point we were trying to make, and we probably didn't express it very well.

Thanks again, everyone. We're really glad we found the site!

Jason's Obviously Caring, Really Nice and Intelligent Parents
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I haven't been seeing one concern that I have for Jason and that is speech therapy. Yep! I'd make sure he can continue that all the way to graduation if he so chooses to stay in a deaf school. From what I read, his grammar is good, although proper pronouns need to be capitalized, punctuation is necessary and first letters of words in sentences are Capitalized. ;) I couldn't resist that, sorry! :D My girlfriend went to the deaf school here in Missouri and barks like a dog when she talks. I'm not making fun of her, but am concerned as to why she didn't get speech therapy while she was there. I highly suggest that you read this book [ame=http://www.amazon.com/Deaf-Like-Me-Thomas-Spradley/dp/0930323114]Amazon.com: Deaf Like Me: Thomas S. Spradley, James P. Spradley: Books[/ame] and know there are other ways of teaching a deaf child.

I didn't go to a deaf school because my dad said "costs money." Which meant that the money would come out of his deer hunting fund, which was made up of money at the last minute instead of a fund set aside. My speech is clear and I do sound precisely how I write. However, what I would like you to notice when you visit the school (s) is how they teach and pay close attention to anything you can read that the students have written. If they're written like the student is deaf and very choppy, run, don't walk back to the car. Also, if any of the other kids talk, listen to them. You two have been married long enough that you can send signals back and forth to each other without anyone knowing and I'm sure you probably do it with Jason. Pick up his and other peoples body language, too. You've got a decision to make, so choose wisely.

Yes, that's my hearing dog, Snickers (female Akita-German Shepherd mix) and I with Scorch, the mascot at Minnesota State University Moorhead below. We finally graduated this year with a BA in Communication Studies. Good luck, Jason!!
 
pek1 said:
CUT ---Yep! I'd make sure he can continue that all the way to graduation if he so chooses to stay in a deaf school.
--CUT---
However, what I would like you to notice when you visit the school (s) is how they teach and pay close attention to anything you can read that the students have written. If they're written like the student is deaf and very choppy, run, don't walk back to the car. Also, if any of the other kids talk, listen to them.
--CUT--
My speech is clear and I do sound precisely how I write.
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It's scary you want them to force Jason to have speech therapy all the way to graduation. No one forced me, and I didn't want either, and I am very happy about that. I can both speak and bark, but i prefer to bark :deaf:

Parents already have checked level of school, and it was ok. I guess you also want parents to run run away if they visit a mainstream school with a few deaf people, and half of them acidentally happens to have bad grammars?

Most people don't speak like they write, that's more a habit among oral deaf people.
 
flip said:
It's scary you want them to force Jason to have speech therapy all the way to graduation. No one forced me, and I didn't want either, and I am very happy about that. I can both speak and bark, but i prefer to bark :deaf:

Parents already have checked level of school, and it was ok. I guess you also want parents to run run away if they visit a mainstream school with a few deaf people, and half of them acidentally happens to have bad grammars?

Most people don't speak like they write, that's more a habit among oral deaf people.
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:gpost: I totally agree with you 100%. No authorities should force Deaf people to use speech therapy and lipread if they don't want to. It depend on the individual inside of their heart and mind of what they want to choose in the educational setting whether at the Deaf school or the mainstream school where there is a Deaf program. :cool2:
 
When parents and schools try to push speech therapy and lipreading skills on children, they're not doing it to be mean, they're doing it to try to better that child's life. I had years of speech therapy and I learned to lipread along the way, and I'm very thankful for it. It doesn't make me or any other child any less deaf.
 
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AlleyCat said:
When parents and schools try to push speech therapy and lipreading skills on children, they're not doing it to be mean, they're doing it to try to better that child's life. I had years of speech therapy and I learned to lipread along the way, and I'm very thankful for it. It doesn't make me or any other child any less deaf.
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What do you mean by any less deaf? Are you referring to Hard of Hearing children who are excellent in speech therapy and lipread without being force to improve and get better with their life? Deaf people can do a lot better with their life with the help from ASL interpreters and having ASL in their social life. Speech and lipreading are the most difficult obstacles in our life to try to understand in the hearing world. It is not a miracle for us, but hearing parents and authorities want us to be in the hearing world in the hard way which we find it very hard to struggle with. I am happy that you are happy that you made it through with speech therapy and lipreading without being force on you to take them. It is you as an individual to decide if that is what you would like to be in the hearing world 24/7. Life is not always easy for the Deaf person in the hearing world. But, that is okay. :cool2:
 
Just because you had speech therapy DOES NOT mean you want to be in the world 24/7 it just helps you talk to hearing people a bit better than you could. I had speech therapy and there's no way that i want to disconnect from the deaf world, actually i think i function better in the deaf world, but in this world you need to be part of both worlds unless you dont really need to have communication with hearing people. It is up to you and there is no right or wrong about being in either "world"
 
pek1 said:
I haven't been seeing one concern that I have for Jason and that is speech therapy. Yep! I'd make sure he can continue that all the way to graduation if he so chooses to stay in a deaf school. From what I read, his grammar is good, although proper pronouns need to be capitalized, punctuation is necessary and first letters of words in sentences are Capitalized. ;) I couldn't resist that, sorry! :D My girlfriend went to the deaf school here in Missouri and barks like a dog when she talks. I'm not making fun of her, but am concerned as to why she didn't get speech therapy while she was there. I highly suggest that you read this book Amazon.com: Deaf Like Me: Thomas S. Spradley, James P. Spradley: Books and know there are other ways of teaching a deaf child.

I didn't go to a deaf school because my dad said "costs money." Which meant that the money would come out of his deer hunting fund, which was made up of money at the last minute instead of a fund set aside. My speech is clear and I do sound precisely how I write. However, what I would like you to notice when you visit the school (s) is how they teach and pay close attention to anything you can read that the students have written. If they're written like the student is deaf and very choppy, run, don't walk back to the car. Also, if any of the other kids talk, listen to them. You two have been married long enough that you can send signals back and forth to each other without anyone knowing and I'm sure you probably do it with Jason. Pick up his and other peoples body language, too. You've got a decision to make, so choose wisely.

Yes, that's my hearing dog, Snickers (female Akita-German Shepherd mix) and I with Scorch, the mascot at Minnesota State University Moorhead below. We finally graduated this year with a BA in Communication Studies. Good luck, Jason!!
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My brother had 5 years of intensive speech therapy at an oral only preK program and yet wasn't able to develop clear speech skills. I have seen that happen to various deaf children. Some children r able to do it while some aren't. That's why I believe in language development over speech.
 
I agree Shel90!! Language development is a lot more important than speech and the clearity of it.
 
let him go for a year.....see how things go....its hard to be in a world full of people who cant SEE your disability and dont get it....me, i say i am sorry i am deaf...so people still blab on to me...and once again...i just say sorry i did not get any of that ...i am deaf...when my mother is with me she will tell people that i dont know are talking to me that i am deaf...there response is always the same...she dont look deaf.....are we suppose to limp or something...wear our hair funny....
let him go and see he is normal....different just like every one else....every body is different...even amongst the deaf...so let him expand like you say you want him to,,,
 
DeafLissa90 said:
I agree Shel90!! Language development is a lot more important than speech and the clearity of it.
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I disagree, they both are as important--language development and approaches to speech. :P
 
flip said:
It's scary you want them to force Jason to have speech therapy all the way to graduation. No one forced me, and I didn't want either, and I am very happy about that. I can both speak and bark, but i prefer to bark :deaf:

Parents already have checked level of school, and it was ok. I guess you also want parents to run run away if they visit a mainstream school with a few deaf people, and half of them acidentally happens to have bad grammars?

Most people don't speak like they write, that's more a habit among oral deaf people.
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good point. Most of the deaf with really faulty grammar did the oral bit first. But it failed so they were given ASL which in some cases was their first exposure to language.
 
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Someone asked why we thought that we would be "limiting" him (that was the word we used) by sending him to DS. It's not that we think that hearing classmates are "better" than deaf. We know they're not. :D We just think that in order to teach our son how to function in the world, he needs to be exposed to a wide variety of people, and to learn to communicate on their terms. We're still concerned that we're giving some of that experience up by sending him to DS.


Well, did ya think that DS can be one of those experiences, communications and varieties? :laugh2:

( think I'll ask the mods to change my moniker. :hmm:)

All folks like to be with someone with whom they share a commonality. That's why a lot of us are here in AD. So glad that you answered. We will be watching for updates.

Nosy Granny loves you too! :ty:
 
In your hearts, you already know what the right choice is. Don't let fear hold you back.

Good luck.
 
When I was about 12, I had a teacher aid following me through every class I went to. It was horrible. I wanted to fit in and I wanted to be liked. But the kids saw the aid following me around the middle school and just called me a retard and all that fun stuff. My mom wanted an aid to follow me because she thought I'd be too scared to be in middle school by myself. And honestly, I believe it was wrong of her. Because I was capable of many things and still am. It just made me feel unwanted and not even liked. I wanted to fit in but just couldn't because I had someone breathing down my neck all the time. I became so depressed that I just stopped going to school and everything.

When the aid left, I finally started getting friends. People didn't look at me and thought I was "retarded." Because I'm not...but you know what I mean.

Honestly, I believe you should let your son try to go to a Deaf school. Your son is deaf and he's in a school full of hearing people. I would feel so left out. You know, an outcast. That's just like me, a hearing person, going to school for the deaf. I'd feel like I don't belong or anything, but if you placed me in a hearing school, I'd feel in place. Because like them, I can hear. Do you understand what I'm saying? I don't think I'm wording it that well...but trying to!

You seem like a great parent. And I know you'll make the right choice! It is a hard decision to make. But just try to remember how your son will feel, you know?? :)

good luck!
 
No time for me to read all story. My job is part of Rivals.com (sport from HS and NCAA)

I will not push you go to deaf school or stay at mainsteam school.

Your son is very good wrestler. Most deaf school does not have excellent wrestle or any sport program.

I am not familiar with mainsteam (special deaf program). I know about sport at normal High School and deaf school. Most deaf schools are not excellent sport program. Just good education at deaf school.

I grew up at oral school (deaf school - no allow sign language). Until, I was 13 years old. My parents asked me which stay oral school or transfer to deaf school. I picked deaf school.

Deaf School made me happy better than oral school because big important for my education and communication skill.

I am former excellent wrestler. I grew up wrestle with hearing people at my hometown. When, I was 13 years old. I went to deaf school. They did not have any wrestle team. Until, I was 15 or 16 years old. They tried to have wrestle team. Nobody can beat me in my age and weight. My weight was 160lbs. I beat heaviest weight (over 230lbs) and older players. Nobody (deaf students) can pin me down. My coach can pin me down because he was in 1968 Summer Olympic. They cancel wrestle team because lack of interested in wrestling. :(

Most deaf school's wrestle players are not very good in wrestle or any sports. Big different culture at deaf school and hometown's hearing friends. I was most popular player in any sports (football, baseball, street hockey, bowling and wrestle) with hearing people. At deaf school, many kids are show off. They left me out because I was too younger. Yes, I hate big kids at deaf school. I saw many deaf students are very stink player in flag football or softball. Most players wanted to be big "I" or selfish to keep touch ball. Still hate some players think "ME ME ME ME"

In earlier 1970's, Orel Hershiser was my old friend. He was sick of me that he can't stike me out. I went to deaf school which does not have baseball/football/wrestle teams. In 1976, I came back to my hometown. Orel was gone to Pro baseball. He was famous pitcher for LA Dodges plus other teams. He made millions dollars. My life is priceless!!!! He still can't strike me out. Also, some of my old friends went to NCAA football for Penn State, Boston College, U of Delaware and other small college. They came home for break time, we played football. I am best players than all my friends from NCAA football. That's shame... I am talent but no sport program & chess club at deaf school.

Come first is most important EDUCATION for your future career. Which is right kind of education for you at deaf school or mainsteam.

I was student at Rochester Inst of Tech. I noticed that many deaf students came from mainsteam. They have little bit weird communication (lack of ASL skill level or lack of deaf culture).

Currently, I am freelance photographer for Rivals.com. They have plently story about sports from HS and NCAA
 
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